Taking young baby for evening meal

[matana]

Hi all, your views and advice are welcome!

I'm 38 weeks pregnant and planning to take husband and baby to the Lake District for my birthday weekend in January. Baby will be around two months by then.

We firmly believe that children need structure and routine, but also believe they should enhance your current life and not change it beyond all recognition. Therefore we would like to encourage baby to be a bit flexible on some occasions - if possible!

While we're in the Lakes we are planning to go out for an evening meal with our baby. If all is well, i'd like to bath, feed and put baby down in the carry cot before walking into the village with him/ her and going for a meal while he/ she is asleep. I know it depends hugely on the baby (and the baby's mood at the time!) as to whether or not he/ she will settle and this will work, but does anyone have any views or advice? Has anyone else done this and how has it worked out? Do you have any tips? We are prepared to give up and have a quiet evening in the hotel instead if necessary, but would love to try to make it work if possible.

Thank you!

I know I've been accused of being too pessimistic, but I think Fiddledee is right.

DS1 was over two weeks late, and I had an emergency C-section. At 2 months past his due date he was actually just under 6 weeks old, and I was up 3-4 times a night with him.

I was still recovering from the surgery, hadn't started driving again, seatbelts hurt my wound, and I couldn't walk more than about 1/4 mile.

I think 6-8 weeks was probably the peak of my exhaustion, as DS had a growth spurt and was feeding constantly, and I didn't feel like I'd had any sleep for two months.

The stress of having to go away for a weekend would probably have tipped me over the edge into PND!

I was probably just unlucky, and I really hope all goes smoothly for you, but I would recommend not committing any money to anything until the baby arrives - you may find that you will not feel the same as you do currently.

Just as a thought, OP, why don't you post this in the post-natal boards and ask what Mums with babies currently 6-8 weeks old think?

Same as what everyone else has said really, wait and see what your baby is like and what kind of routine (if any) he/she is in by then and then decided weather to do a nice lunch out and a take away or an evening meal.

My DD is 2 months old and personally i wouldn't dare take her with me for an evening meal as this is her fussy time and she would scream the place down and i would be very stressed. However i have done a few lunches and she has slept right through them.

If you do choose the evening meal option maybe go for a 30 minute walk (depending on the weather) with the baby in a pram or sling first and maybe the fresh air will send him/her to sleep and you and DP will have an un-interrupted meal.

Been enticed over here from the post-natal boards by whippet but having said that, I've had rather different experiences from her! We've gone out two or three times with DD at that sort if age and it's been fine - and had takeaways & wine without it affecting her via the breastmilk. So who knows! We didn't stress it, as the places we've gone have all been very local.

Hiya
No harm in planning just be open to the fact that it may all go tits up. DS1 and DD1 took to routine no problem from an early age. DS2 on the other hand was a nightmare and still does things in his own good time. I think it really depends on your baby and the type of restaurant. If its fancy and very 'adult only' you may be on tender hooks. We found nice lunches out far better and far more likely that all off them will sleep. Also I would consider going by car as it will be freezing and the car soothes them off.
Mostly tho I think you will be way too in the throws of it. I am doing really well this time round in terms of healing, gett5ng f5g4re back etc but the night time waking is still wiping me and going away now (she is 8 weeks and an angel) would be too much. And keep in mind you will have xmas to cater for in the meantime. Best of luck in the coming weeks. Enjoy your LO

Lots of valid points on here but every baby is totally different so you really just have to wait and see. I'd say book it and then you can cancel nearer the time if your little one's routine doesn't suit.
Our DS was in a terrible evening fretful mode from around week 3 to 6 but then snapped out of it and we've had two lovely evenings out and lots of lunches without much bother. Occasionally one of us eating at a time and then swapping for burping.... DS not us!
You'll get used to ordering cold food from the menu!
Very good point re. pram space! This is a real pain sometimes!
Hope it all goes well!!

'He/ she has been very chilled out in the womb and given me no trouble at all so far.'

Just to say that you may find things quite different once your DC is out in the big wide world! I don't think many people find their babies give them trouble in the womb.

As others have said, things can be v different from what you plan/assume. My Mum took me everywhere (restaurants when I was 3 weeks, to work when I was 6 weeks etc) and I thought I'd do the same with DS. He was a VERY easy baby in general, and used to social situations etc. But the fact was he BF'd pretty much all evening, and screamed a bit, especially at that age. Most babies of that age go to bed late (11/12pm IME) and are grumpy in the evenings. Plus I was exhausted, even though he slept through from 11-7!

A lunch is a much better idea IMO - I had loads of lovely lunches with DS when he was tiny and sleeping in his pram.
All changed at about 5 months, but now (he's 12 months) we can go out for dinner whilst he's in bed (with babysitter!). Good luck :)

oh leave the op alone! We did have TWO dream children who did fall asleep under restaurant tables and we did go away with them at a month old. It was lovely as they can just be tucked up and wheeled along, and I just breatfed and ate with one hand if they got antsy. THey both turned into non sleeping horrors at 4 months, so I am very glad we got a social life in those early months.

I was happily taking DD out for lunch, coffee or dinner at that age no problem - she would just fall asleep after a while and stay there. We also did a train ride to Cornwall at about 3 1/2 months (4-5 hrs), a flight to Italy at 5 months for Xmas including a day on the snow in the Alps - was never a problem.

Of course she is now a toddler and things have changed somewhat .

So it can be done... If you have the right baby. So good luck and I hope you manage to have a good break. If you can't however or you do not feel like it do not push yourself... Go with the flow and see what you feel like closer to the time.

Sorry didn't mean to be negative. Just really recognised my pregnant self in the phrase
'they should enhance your current life and not change it beyond all recognition'. IME babies DO enhance your current life but they also most certainly change it beyond all (well, nearly all) recognition, especially at first. But that may not have much to do with whether you can take them out for supper or not
I hope you can, and have a lovely time

We did this a lot with a small baby (under 8-9mo) and it was just fine. I'd just have her in the sling and she'd go to sleep whilst we ate/watched a film/went for an evening walk /whatever.

Managed it less and less often (as in she would wake and join in) after that until the last time she remained asleep in the sling throughout dinner which was when she was about 2 and a bit.

We haven't stopped going out though - she still comes with us only now she wants her own seat and meal She still has the option to go in the sling to sleep if she wants/needs to, and she often asks to if she is feeling tired or overwhelmed (she is 4 now)

I hope you have a lovely time

I took my 2-month-old on a longhaul vacation to Africa. It went great. That said, it would never have occured to me to slot a 2-month-old into a 'routine', so I never expected her to be asleep at any given time. If you want a flexible, travel-friendly child, you have to be that kind of parent. And even if you are, sometimes the little guys just don't agreee with you!

So go for it. Might work, might not. But personally I wouldn't plan an evening out months in advance - it will only make you disappointed if it doesn't work out. Just get up there and see how it goes...

As others have said, you can plan but you don't know whether you're going to get a "difficult" baby or an "easy" baby yet.

We took DD out for meals at this age but she was normally asleep in a baby carrier and we weren't fussed about developing a routine as long as she was healthy and eating/sleeping well. On the rare occasions she woke up and cried, we took her outside and walked her up and down.

okay i aggree with op mainly,you sound like you know the answer really.
you just will not know whether you can take your baby out,unil you have had your baby.

every baby is different.

my first would NEVER have slept peacefully whilst we ate,it would have been exactly the senario whippet described.
we tryed once,and i had a huge anxiety attack-awful.

BUT dc2 is an absolute angel and we could easily do it,in fact we went on holiday when he was 2 weeks old and he was perfect.

one thing though,wear a sling,it will be far eaiser,no matter what kind of baby you have (or get your dp to wear it!)

good luck

DD was so placid in the womb that I went twice to hospital because she hadn't moved all day. Once born, she screamed for >12 hours a day for the first five weeks... She was never that sleep anywhere, portable type, but I have heard of some that were... I think best wait and see.

Haven't read the thread properly but I did this with both dcs. They were fine. The restaurant were very helpfull too. making sure there was room etc. As long as you're prepared for the what ifs then give it a go. You won't know unless you try.

Through doing this from 6 weeks old we can now take ds1 into a restaurant. He will sit nicely, eat his food, wait patiently and we all get to enjoy a nice family meal!

You don't need to be so prescriptive about your future now! Planning the exact routine of a night out before your baby is even born!
And 2m old babies are too young to have structure and routine!
Relax and enjoy your baby and enjoy yoursleves - the 2 are not in competition!

DS was a very unroutiney baby, and by 9 weeks we had taken him to a hotel (at 2 weeks) and out for dinner in the hotel, out for lunch several times, and then to Greece, where he accompanied us to dinner every evening in his lie-flat pushchair, with lots of cuddling hi and passing him around during the meal. You learn to eat one-handed.

Go to the Lakes with an open mind, choose relaxing places to eat, and go with the flow.

It's MUCH harder once they are 9m - toddlers. My top tip then is to feed them, put them in the buggy, put sunglasses on them so it looks dark and wheel them about until asleep before taking the buggy into a restaurant.

My DD is 7 weeks and I've taken her to several places in the evening but nowhere formal. She's been fine. She's stayed awake because she loves to watch everything but been settled.

I could easily have taken DD out in the evening at that age but personally speaking I just didn't want to. I wanted to park my fat behind on the sofa and eat biscuits. Just saying...

Also, seriously, you may have feeding problems if breastfeeding such as a baby who won't latch on nice and quietly or who jerks her head away five times before settling so you end up spraying anyone within two foot with milk, you may not feel up to feeding in a nice restaurant yet (and possibly enduring glares from diners who think that BFing mothers ought to be not seen or heard), you may find that your baby wants almost constant feeding in the evenings, you may find he is at his most wakeful at that time, you may find it hard to eat a meal with one hand unless it is soup or pitta bread or pasta, you may find you simply feel too tired to be gallivanting about in the evenings and any one of hundreds of other things which aren't an indication of a baby being in any way troublesome - it's just how they are, sometimes.

Good luck, though. I hope you get your meal and I hope you enjoy it!

We took our DD out at 5 weeks old for an evening meal. She was awake throughout, in her sling and really enjoyed it. However, it was on the spur of the moment and was on the back of a doctors apppointment for a particularly raging bout of breast thrush that had rendered my left boob incapable of being used! So I was not feeling my best to say the very least.

Those few first months were a bit grim to be honest, but technically, yes, it's quite possible to go for a meal when they're that small.

Good luck OP. :)

Just thought i'd update this as we've just returned from the Lakes with our DS. He came a week early in the end and has been the sunniest, easiest baby we could have wished for. We went out for 2 evening meals and he slept soundly in his carry cot on both occasions

However, having seen some of the looks you get from other people when you take your baby out in the evening we would advise against choosing anything too posh. Pub/ restaurants are usually a good bet, but we won't be going to any michelin star restaurants with him for the time being!

Dont let anyone tell you that you cant go out for a meal - of course you can and your babies age will actually be the easiest.
When my DD was 7 and 10 weeks I was on holiday in both Portugal and Spain and had a lovely time in both.

I wont lie to you, there was the odd night when she threw a wobbler but mostly we had nice meals with her asleep in the buggy.

Just check that the restaurant has enough room for your buggy and then go with it but be prepared that you might have to make a quick exit.

Oh dear, I didnt read the whole thread. Glad you had a great time and congratulations