What have you found hardest in the first 3 years?

[Swirl]

Am in middle of potty training DS1 who is 2.3yrs and am finding it completely draining/frustrating/a real rollercoaster. It got me thinking about the challenges we've overcome so far - for me the first weeks of breastfeeding were brutal and the hardest thing I have come through with him (did end up loving it and breastfed until 6 mths), with the sleep training I had to do at around 5 months coming a close second . I keep telling myself if I got through those then I can handle the potty training. Just wondered what anyone else has found hardest.

WWW, Absoultely agree 'Tikabloodybilla'

• sleep
• no money
• marital issues
• feeling of having no control over these new creations (when previously I had a bit of control of my life)

+++++ feeling like a complete no-one when out with 'real' (what do you do?) type people.

(get the impression that it hasn't been easy sailing here?!!)

first ever post on here so forgive me if a bit long!

sleep deprivation definitely

Guilt, guilt guilt about EVERYTHING. Guilty for giving too little 1:1 time to either of them, or too much time on chores, or shouting when completely knackered, or giving ds1 a ready made meal or crisps or chocolate!

dealing with their allergies. Ds1 was allergic to gluten for 2 yrs (grew out of it) and is still allergic to egg and cashew nuts. Just discovered that ds2 (6 months old) is allergic to milk. Food shopping is just going to be horrendous!

agree with others re: potty training. Have just been through it with ds1, waited until he was 2.6 and expressed an interest with it and its been pretty much a non-event.

trying to feed ds2 whilst not being able to sit down due to the horrendous stitches - just wanted to crawl in a hole and cry!

Oh yes and the colic.

no sleep and no time for myself.

The decision of whether or not to work full time or not. It is eating me up. My dd is 18 month and on top form. She has always been an easy baby, kid, a real pleasure to be with. But I'm supposed to be doing the career thing and the money thing too. Dop! Tricky.

Childcare options too: don't get me started.

Dealing with DS2 who had reflux up until 14mnths. Meal times were a nightmare, arched back, alot of distraction, throwin up . Just when you thought you had a good day he'd throw up all over me at bedtime. Caused alot of stress all round. That all I seem to remeber of his first year.

interesting thread.
For me it was dd at 2, as the tantrum queen (she's so lovely now).
Also ds2 sleeping through at 3mo, then startign to wake again for a feed every 2 hrs at 4 mths, me determined not to wean him til 6 mo! (yeah, that really lasted )

The first six months. Actually make that the first 15 months from conception. Oh, and then the next nine or so months in terms of being enormously fat after DD1.

The most difficult thing for me has been, and is, the communication, or lack of it. Lottie wanting to tell me something and not knowing the words, or knowing the word but us not recognising it, or me wanting her to tell me how her days was and her not getting it, or knowing how to share it with me.

Then after the communication thing a close second is trying to teach her to walk. I've had to accept that no amount of teaching with help, that I just have to be patient and doing the exercises.

We started to toilet train and I just dopn't get how you toilet train a child with special needs that can't talk or walk! So think i'll park that one for a bit!

erm. having kids. or is that not allowed?

Haven't read all of the thread, but issymum's post is IMO opinion fantastic and really strikes a chord with me.

So fear, doubt and guilt it is for me, but I don't think these will stop at three...

having to plan everything and 'book' nights off
not being able to leave the house without a ton of 'equipment'

1.The early mornings-being up at 6.30 when you have nowhere to go until 10 o'clock.Anything before 8 is too early in my book,and before 7 is cruel. At least once ds1 started school it gave us a bit of purpose in the mornings,and then of course he started sleeping later and later,so now I have to wake him.The irony!And of course I'm still up with the baby at the crack of dawn.
2.Breastfeeding-the hardest thing I've ever done,although it was easier 2nd and 3rd time.
3.Feeling so isolated when ds1 and dd were small,not really knowing anyone in the area,struggling with them a lot at the time.
However,it all seems so easy 3rd time around,partly I think because I realise that everything is just a phase,I am enjoying the good times and tolerating the bad much better,as I know it all won't last forever. And I also figure the same applies to the older 2 as well now.

Breastfeeding, deffo.
Teatime/bathtime when everyone (esp me) is knackered and losing it.
Those occasional Saturday nights when you head off for A&E at 2am, drenched in sick, and at 4am see a doc who gives you a sachet of Dioralyte and says she'll be fine in the morning. (I very much hope that's a baby no1 scenario, and that we won't be doing this so readily with no2.)

Have to agree competely with the fear thing....fear of something happening to any of us...fear of spoiling him/ being too soft...fear of being too hard on him...fear of MIL!...generally a huge fear of messing him up!

childbirth. all 3 times.

breastfeeding the first one for the first 6 weeks.

Lack of sleep made everything else seem ten times worse
Teething ( and the associated illness, less sleep grumbliness that came with it)

My stupid choice of terry nappies to save money but still sticking to it one year on!
The ear splitting whinging.
Fear of loosing my DD to her crazed biological father.

Being convinced that my DS was dying in my arms when he had a series of febrile convulsions. Of course it had to be in the middle of the night while DH was away on business!

Other than that, it would have to be starting BF. Ouch! That really hurt. Oh, and getting my figure back - I've only just managed to fit into my pre-preg clothes.

My answer to this could vary daily, even hourly, depending on my mood. But today I can say that the hardest part of the last 4.5 years is now - accepting that their baby/toddler years are over, accepting that this part of mine and DH lives are over and we are soon to be parents of school girls, rather than tots. I remember when we brought our twins home from hospital, everyone saying it would go so quickly, make the most of it etc etc, and it has and I could weep

Looking after two under the age of 2 when i am myself ill.
Feeding time become hell when they refuse to eat or vomit afterwords and cleaning three times a day.
The moments when they both cry and cry or they both do something which need immediate attention.
Trying to feed baby when a toddler needs attention too.
Looking after a baby while you are pregnant and you cant even pick him up resulting in back aches.
when my 1 year old and 1 month need to be fed at the same time.
I cant write any more

Dd rushed into neo natal at 5 days old and then being told her brain might not be connected to her spinal column - that was pretty crap. She was absolutely fine and is now 3 + and a complete treasure.
Everything else has been a breeze by comparison - although having 2 is a 'challenge'.

leaving babies in special care and going home without them every day ripped me up
now they are home one is 3 and one 6 months sometimes i think I can't cope with the everyday things but i will as long of neither of them go back to hospital

Definately pregnancy + toddler, and now pregnancy + 4 yr old + toddler.