9 month old son refusing bedtime milk

[bluecow]

My ds has started refusing his bedtime milk and sometimes his afternoon milk. It means he wakes up starving at 3-4am when normally he sleeps till 5-6am or later. I don't want to cut back on food (he doesn't eat a huge amount anyway and now he's crawling he needs the energy I guess). It's not that he doesn't like the milk - he'll have a big bottle when he first wakes. Is he just trying to assert his independence?! We've wondered if it's to do with teething (he has four and a new top one appearing) or perhaps using the bottle (he'll drink water from a beaker but not milk) but otherwise don't know. He usually has tea about 5pm and milk about 7pm and is too tired by then to want stay awake any later. It means he's only having 300ml milk a day, if that now, when the books say he should be getting 500-600ml a day - but then he hasn't read them... Should I give him tea earlier? All suggestions gratefully received!

I'd do tea earlier and milk earlier or tea at the same time and milk soon after. At that age my ds couldn't have anything if he was too tired.

Aloha, yeah tea and milk earlier is my feeling but dh keeps saying we should cut ds's food down. That doesn't seem right somehow.

If he's too tired to drink the bedtime bottle, what about having him sleep a little longer at his naptime, or putting him down for a little power nap before supper? Alternatively, what about including more cheese and yogurt in his daily diet, instead of the milk he isn't drinking?

Boyandgirl, thanks for that - his naps are a bit erratic! He will go anything between half an hour and two hours (always in precise half hour measurements) and has two a day. He does often have a powernap (love that phrase) just before supper but the naps are always on his terms! He has one or two fromage frais a day and likes cheese so I could up them a bit. Funny, I tell dh to chill and not worry cos he's only 9 months and here's me doing exactly that!
I suppose we just want him to have as full a tummy as possible to go to bed on.

Blue cow (love the name by the way!) what about giving him a bottle and biscuit at 3ish when he wakes up from his nap and then give him tea later, then he is full when he goes to bed.

OR, does he eat weetabix or other cereal?, Perhaps he could have tea and then weetabix and yoghurt before bed.

Also, don't worry too much about the milk intake, ds wasn't a huge milk drinker after weaning until about a year (he just loved food!) he just had a half bottle AM and a full one at night. As long as he eats yoghurts and cheesey things he'll be fine. And the guidlines are there for faddy kids to get their perants to worry themselves sick over I wouldn't cut down on his food.

Runragged - wise words! We had another refusal of milk last night and I lay in bed wondering what to do and I did think then if I should just replace the missed milk with a meal of sorts. You're right - I musn't worry and he does like fromage frais and stuff. I wasn't at all worried until dh kept stressing about it! I think it's because he started crawling a few weeks ago he's wearing himself out and he suddenly gets really exhausted at 7pm so is too tired to drink.

Bluecow, if your ds sleeps in half-hour blocks, then he may well be coming into his light sleep phase at the half hour and, given the chance, could learn to put himself back to sleep if tired enough. My first was very similar, and when he was 4m I read dear Gina's book, bit the bullet, and left him to resettle himself if he woke after 30mins. Within 10days or so he was sleeping the full nap time almost every day and was going down much better at 7pm. It really does help, but you've got to be prepared to let the baby cry.

Boyandgirl - read Gina but found it all scary! What sort of naps should he be getting then?

Try putting him down two hours after he wakes up whether he seems tired or not and giving him around 45minutes. That's very Gina and worked like magic for my ds when he was about the same age as yours. Then another nap around lunchtime - 12ish, after an early lunch, for a couple of hours if possible. Have you tried giving him his milk at 6pm? He might have more then. Please don't get too stressed about it though!

We are going to try him with milk at 6pm tonight and keep trying him! If he doesn't want it by 7pm then I may give him a fromage frais or something if he's not too tired. I'll try the nap thing too. He does generally want a sleep about a couple of hours after he wakes so that's one thing he's doing right. Will have to try him tomorrow with the early lunch then nap (and then steel myself for the crying!)

Also, if he's teething it might be that waking him, not hunger. It might be worth giving him a dose of Calpol or baby Nurufen before bed and see if it helps. I never let my ds cry during the day - don't know why as I could do it at night, but he eventually started taking long naps by himself.

His fifth tooth is just coming through and I tihink he's a little bothered by it as teething granules seem to calm him down. I did notice today as he refused all bottles except the first one at 5am that he was putting on an Oscar winning performance each time the bottle went near his lips. He would immediately rub his eyes as if tired which usually means we will take the bottle away - and he's not in the least bit tired! Tinker! He did take cereal last night instead of milk. I read Gina Ford again today and she did talk about babies of his age wanting to drop some bottles.