mears is thinking of leaving us. Action required NOW.

[bubble99]

Without wishing to sound too shmaltzy, mears, for me, has been amazing. She has helped me over the last few months with so many things. In the darkest days after Bo died she responded to so many of my seemingly daft questions with wisdom, compassion and humour. Heck! She is The Queen Mum of mumsnet and we need her to stay.

She has posted saying that she feels she needs to get out and do more, she is working full time doing shifts, including weekends and nights (yuk) whilst also finishing her masters in midwifery. She is losing motivation and needs other interests.

So...... Action is now required. She also needs to shift some weight (I'm with her on this one) but I don't think this needs to be the focus as in my experience if you're busy with something that interests the weight falls off anyway.

Anyone prepared to help me in my campaign to save our mnet treasure? Ideas and 'Save our mears' posts required.

[tigermoth]

By the time I joined mumnset, I was well past the needing a midwife phase, so I've never had to rely on Mears' advice. So yes, it's easy for me to say the following.... anyway I can see Mears really knows her stuff and is excellent at helping people. But let her go for now if she wants to. It looks like she has a lot on her plate. She's come back refreshed in her own time.

I think Hunker's idea is good and could still work in Mears' absance, as people could collect 'the best of Mumsnet midwives advice' Mears' and everyone else's messages and/or have a FAQs page.

[SoupDragon]

Have to say, I'm with Tigermoth. If she wants and needs a break, let her go. It'll be a huge loss but should she really put Mumsnet above her real life and career? I'm sure she would be back when stuff calms down.

[ghosty]

Excellent points Hub2dee and tigermoth and soupy

[bobbybob]

As a compromise - how about if we all try to search for Mears wise words for new people who are having a similar problem to old people (and we remember that she gave good advice) and then link them to that.

And Mears get a new name and join some of the lighter threads for a bit, and everyone promise not to "out" her if you guess.

[marthamoo]

I think it's very hard when you are thought of as MN's resident expert on a subject - I thought of jimjams too. Like jimjams, Mears gets asked for by name in thread titles - and, like jimjams, I expect she feels guilty if she doesn't post on a thread where she has expertise to offer.

I know some doctors are very reluctant to say in any social kind of situation what they do for a living: because they then get bombarded with medical questions. Dh gets it too - an uncle at a wedding we went to wanted him to look at his foot which had a fungal infection (niiiice!) - and he's not a doctor, he's a microbiologist!

If Mears needs a break then of course she should have one - though I think her original post was less about having a rest from MN and more about finding a focus and interest outside work (and MN isn't a rest from work for her, sadly).

I think HunkerMunker's idea is a good one. Babyworld has a section (well it used to have) of FAQs answered by experts - breastfeeding, pregnancy etc. What about something like that?

[hub2dee]

There are many areas where 'words of wisdom' ought to be compiled into a FAQ IMHO, and where there should be some kind of 'compiler person' / 'FAQ owner' taking care of things...

They could contain advice and links, and maybe be integrated into some area within MN as well as (or instead of ?) Talk.

It's already been mooted for SN, but the same for pg / childbirth / breastfeeding, washing machines (!) etc. etc. etc. could be useful.

[berolina]

when i was having my bf troubles over the past few weeks i never ceased to be amazed at the amount of time people - mears at the forefront - had obviously taken to help me, a complete stranger (and clearly paranoid first time mum).
however, i can really understnd she may feel the need to have some stuff 'outside' work. i work in germany teaching english at university and rather dislike it when people outside work come and ask me for help with english (as opposed to me offering it) or want to practise their english on me in social situations (must add i speak native level german) as it then seems to me to be an extension of work and i feel a bit reduced to the 'english person' rather than who i am. i dont even speak english with dh for this reason! but i think the others' suggestions are great and just want to say MEARS YOU ARE BRILL.
sorry for lack of caps, am holding ds with 1 hand, now he wants a feed... i'm off

[ebbie22]

I understand your reasons or wanting to leave us,
But if you count each person you have helped or given advice to in some way,
whether small or large,And count each one of us as a hobbie then you are getting about and doing things....
I know if ever I have a problem,you are the one that helps see things in th right light....You make my pregnany run smoothly......

[hercules]

Just think of all the people who will suffer if you go from not getting your amazing, sensible, well thought out advice ! {shock]

[aloha]

A Mears book in association with MN perhaps?
Agree, she is wonderful and has provided such an amazing service to so many people.

[flamesparrow]

I've never spoken to her personally, but the amount of threads asking for her help, and saying "Mears'll know" has always made me feel that I'd take her advice if it was given!!!

STAY MEARS

[LGJ]

Bump

[MarsLady]

I tell you what hinker, you have some good ideas don't you!

Mears I've often read your posts and think that you are a wonderful woman to give so much yourself here on MN. Enjoy your break but do continue to post on the chatty threads.

[mears]

Came on this morning very pleased with myself that I had managed to 'limit' my Mumsnet interaction for the eveneing and am gobsmacked to see this thread.

Yesterday I was feeling a bit sorry for myself and thinking aloud really. I love coming on mumsnet but I, like many of you have expressed on other threads, have let it become an 'addiction'. I do not want to leave completely because I think you are all brilliant. I feel I 'know' so many of you and I also get a buzz when I feel I have helped somebody.

I wouldn't like to have an 'ask mears' section because that would make it much more formal. I certainly would not like to get paid. I could change my name but I wouldn't like to do that either as I think it helps to recognise who you are talking to.

I have lots of freinds here who I hardly ever see. I need to make an effort to meet up once in a while. I just need to lift the phone instead of spending hours at a time on here

What did i do last night? Sat and watched the programmes about LiveAid and relived my youth. Also had a few glasses of wine. Nothing really constructive was achieved!

I think I will feel a whole lot better if I get my finger 'out my ass' and get this bl**dy assignment finished. I am sure the pressure will lift again then. The only pressure I feel on Mumsnet is that I should be doing other things.

Thank you all for your words of encouragement to stay (or not). It is so lovely to think people even care. I certainly am not planning to leave, I am just going to do other things as well as Mumsnet.

[Puff]

• glad you're staying mears.

[hunkermunker]

Fab!

[moondog]

Me too,Mears! Like you I have vowed to cut down on MN (unlike you, I only post tripe anyway) but popping in for a quick look (honest! ) saw this and have to add my voice to the herd's. You are fantastic,a source of inspiration to so many of us.

We will treasure you even more if we know your visits will be less frequent. It will be like having our own MN royalty!
Practice those curtsies ladies!!!

[Cooperoo]

Yay

[MarsLady]

[fastasleep]

Phew!

[hub2dee]

Hey mears, is it normal that my wife's....



It's good to focus on RL. Pick up the phone and call some old friends, or organise a BBQ next weekend, or think of someone you really like as a friend with whom you've lost touch and phone / write / track 'em down. Throw a brunch, organise a picnic, check out a local concert.... there's loads to do out there and I'm sure you'll think of a bunch of fun things to do very quickly !

Now, about this assignment of yours...

[mears]

Rest assured I will be following Dee's progress with interest and don't hesitate to ask if you need something clarified. If I am not around you are always free to CAT me. That goes for any of you by the way

[Twiglett]

Mears I missed this but add my voice to the 'I think you're fab' crowd of course

BUT, I do think if you feel you need to slow down your addiction, you deserve to

... I say that quite cockily in the sure and certain knowledge that it won't last

addiction is a terrible thing

[hub2dee]

You're a kind person, generous of your time and so obviously passionate about your profession.

Thanks for the offer of CATTing you or asking more qs. DW is doing well BTW, over 82 / 84 last couple of readings and only on weekly assessment, which is great.

If you want to lose weight in a healthy way, and also get out more, maybe that could be one of your focuses for stuff to do in RL ? I dunno - a rambling club ? Local speed walking ? Any good at tennis ? Can you ride a bike ?

(I honestly should be the last person giving advice on this. but if you like we'll kick off a lifestyle change together. I could deffo do with less pounds and more movement. )

[bubble99]

Rest assured mears if I find you hanging around here too much I shall say 'Assignment?' And give you a virtual stern look.