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Black lab puppy, with 3 kids, 5, 3 and nearly 1, should we......

35 replies

Flum · 11/10/2009 20:16

They are 5 weeks old now, ready to come to us when our littlest (and last) child is just 1. He is almost walking but not quite.

I have done sooooooo much research.

My main concerns are that I will not give the puppy enough training time to make it a 'good' dog.

I have never had a dog but DH grew up with them. He really wants a dog but is not encouraging me, as he knows 95% of doggy care duties will fall for me.

I have discussed this with many, many people, not one has said - oh how lovely. All have said - OMG are you mad.

DHs parents are very doggy and have 3, 1 black lab and 2 norfolks.

My parents are very against, they dislike dogs and very worried about the kids getting bitten.

OP posts:
FlamingoBingo · 11/10/2009 20:20

I'd say wait. My friend has one and regrets it and wishes she'd waited until the children were older and she could spend more time on him

duckyfuzz · 11/10/2009 20:29

we got one from my sis when our twins were about 18 months, we never got to train her properly, she never became truly part of the family, then we gave her back to my sis just after DTs turned 5 and haven't regretted the decision at all. She was lovely and we still get to see her, which makes it easier.

Flum · 11/10/2009 20:41

Yep, this is basically where we are at. We all really want the delicious little pup but....

worried about baby crawling in dog wee n poo
house being more wrecked than normal
not having time for walking...

already struggling to keep body n soul together with 3 little ones anyway...

OP posts:
purpleturtle · 11/10/2009 20:46

Have several friends who have recently taken on puppies, and they all say it's like having a newborn again. (With teeth to chew everything in sight!)

Olihan · 11/10/2009 20:54

We got ours when the dcs were 4, 3 and 20mo and the first 6 months were VERY hard work, since then it's got easier but she's still as much work as one of the dcs and we definitely haven't done as much training with her as we should.

Luckily she is an exceptionally good dog and is very well behaved despite of that. She's also very placid so she doesn't destroy the house if she doesn't get as long a walk as usual. I usually give her a good hour off lead walk every day and fitting that in between school and preschool drop off, pick up, lunch then school pick up can be a PITA.

We wouldn't be without her now but if I'd known what it was really going to be like beforehand I probably would have waited a year, tbh.

Flum · 11/10/2009 21:01

mmmmm, its all making sense.

I think if even one person said, oooh how lovely, we would go for it.

I have already said Yes to the owners, she is our cleaner though and she knows I have reservations about two of our kids being a bit young and unpredicable, she will easily sell her as the mother is gorgeous and the Dad a field Champ.

OP posts:
daisydotandgertie · 11/10/2009 22:07

I'd wait a few years to be honest.

If you're already struggling to keep everything as you'd like it a pup is not the thing to add to your family at the moment.

And, if I'm really honest, it's not fair on the pup who probably won't get the time and attention it needs to become a steady, well trained dog who can be trusted in every situation it's expected to cope with.

And a stressy start with a pup with needle sharp teeth isn't the best introduction to dogs at home for children.

I am a huge fan of labradors, and have 2 working black girls at the moment. I won't forget either of them when they were puppies though. Bloody, bloody hard work.

Maybe volunteer to do dog walking at your local animal shelter instead in the short term?

tillykins · 11/10/2009 22:09

puppies are lovely and I think it would be lovely if you had one or two, to grow up alongside your children.....

..... assuming you have staff

daisydotandgertie · 11/10/2009 22:09

I meant to add, as Dad is a field trialer; it's possible your pup will be more hyper than some.

They're bred for speed, brains and bidability. A fabulous combination when you've time to channel it!

Both my girls are proof of that .

Romanarama · 11/10/2009 22:20

I would definitely wait at least 2 years, if not 3 or 4.

Sherbert37 · 11/10/2009 22:54

We have had our first puppy for 6 months. My 3 DCs are all teenagers and I really cannot imagine doing this before now. I have a friend with young children and she has to take all the DCs with her on every walk, whatever the weather. I can go with some or none of mine, and they can take her themselves (and they often do). I would also be worried about keeping an eye on DCs and a dog.

Perhaps enjoy your DCs while they are little, then when they are getting more independent it is lovely to have a new 'little one' to love as well.

You could also post in Pets where this topic is aired quite regularly.

wannaBe · 11/10/2009 23:03

tbh I wouldn't.

Labradors are bloody hard work. They are the most adorable puppies but they grow very fast and within six months your lab will be a boisteress gangly dog that is capable of knocking everyone and everything over and will be destroying your house. Labs are huuuuuugely destructive and often don't grow out of the behavior for years.

I wouldn't be in the slightest bit worried that it would bite the children tbh but the destruction and the training and the walks and the sheer amount of time a puppy needs would put me off.

I got my lab x retriever when he was twenty months old and ds was 3.5 and I found that hard work. And this was a trained, working guide dog who already had the house training and the obedience sorted. But he was still a pup at heart and when not working wanted to play and ds was at an age where he wound him up. I cannot imagine doing that with a puppy and three children.

WriggleJiggle · 11/10/2009 23:14

No, no, no, no, no!
Just don't do it. Labradors are fantastic dogs. I wouldn't be without mine, however, dragging 3 children out at any time of year is a real pain. You are going to have to cope with a stupidly mad puppy whilst watching 2 very small children and pushing a pushchair.
I do this everyday. My dog is great and very well behaved, but it is very very hard work. In fact I have now started walking the dog in the evening so although it is dark and miserable, I don't have to go out with the children. We still all go out during the day, but we go out to play with the dog, not to exercise it.

I think if you wait 2 years you will really enjoy that puppy stage. If you get one now, you're just going to wish children and dog were past that puppy / toddler stage.

sb6699 · 11/10/2009 23:58

I have a 9 mo black lab. He is gorgeous and very much one of the family. Wouldn't be without him now.

BUT he does chew everything in sight, is very boisterous and they do grow very quickly.

It is only very recently we have allowed 10 yo ds to walk him as he was so uncontrollable and I wont frighten you with the cost of replacing things he has chewed.

He needs LOADS of exercise. We live semi-rural so he has about 3 hours of walks off the lead each day and it still doesnt seem to be enough. Having to think if there's other things we can do with him and looking into agility and beating but with 3 dc's time for formal classes is limited.

In saying that, although is excitable he is brill with the lo's (2 & 4), we do keep a close eye on them there have been times where he has been but trodden on, had his tail pulled and even his eye poked and had NEVER retaliated, not even a growl, just turns away from them or if he gets tired of the attention, hides under the table so they cant reach him.

Tbh, if you're struggling already I think a lab puppy might be the straw that breaks the camels back. I would wait until your dc's are a bit older and can shoulder some of the responsibility.

sb6699 · 12/10/2009 00:04

Should also add that if your lo isn't even one by the time they are walking puppy will be a BIG dog - be prepared for lots of tears when she gets knocked over dozens of times until puppy learns not to do it.

LadyOfTheFlowers · 12/10/2009 00:04

Our 2 black lab bithces are 6 now and excellent with the kids.
We got them as pups, but 2 years before we had first child so they were all trained etc.

It was very hard work, even with no children. I have 3 kids now and another on the way and wouldn't get a pup now. I found mine were a bit like babies when they were pups and needed cuddles and playing with quite a lot. Very time consuming.

Generally though, they are awesome with the kids. The graciously took a back seat in the attention stakes when DS1 arrived and did not misbehave. We can't complain.

We did have cream carpets and sofas when they first arrived.... which are long gone...

BettyTurnip · 12/10/2009 00:12

Another one adding reservations - we have three children of very similar ages to yours and I had a huge hankering for a Golden Retriever puppy, did all the research and found two reputable breeders with puppies...the upshot was that neither of them would let us have a puppy. They were both of the opinion that it wouldn't be fair on either the dog or the children and had the potential to be a disaster.

One of them had actually, against her better judgement, previously sold a puppy to a family with (only) two pre-school children and the puppy had ended up being returned to her at six months as the mother just couldn't cope and didn't have the time to train the puppy properly.

They both suggested waiting until the youngest is at least five and going for it then. So we're now getting a Ragdoll kitten in February but that's a whole other thread!

Let us know what you decide.

sb6699 · 12/10/2009 00:17

LadyOfTheFlowers - cant wait until mine is 6. Have been told he MIGHT be STARTING to calm down by then

daisy99divine · 12/10/2009 00:19

A really important thing to remember is the walking - dragging 3 kids out when they can't walk for several hours at a time themselves is too much like hard work - I would wait too tbh

Romanarama · 12/10/2009 08:35

We are getting a golden retriever now that youngest child is past 3.5yo. The breeder did raise an eyebrow, but I said he's a pretty mature child who can understand not to wind the puppy up, and also at school all day until 4.30pm, so she said that was OK. Otherwise they recommend 5yo or the adults in the family don't have time to train and care for the puppy, and the kids torment it. I'm hoping ds1 (7.7) will be able to help with the training and care in a constructive way, and the younger ones will also 'help' but with the playing part . We also have a full-time dog-loving housekeeper, which obviously makes a big difference.

VintageGaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahdenia · 12/10/2009 08:50

Our lovely (chocolate) labrador was just one when our baby was born - so ds2 is now one, and the labrador is 2 and things are really just settling down in the last few months. The labrador was so lively that I found it a real challenge to walk both dogs (we have a smaller, older one too) with the pram or backpack up until recently. She is obedient (comes to her name, sits, waits - mostly - and so on) but can also be naughty - grabs food from kitchen counters, etc and has really only stopped eating things (shoes, books, you name it) in the last few months. She also goes to the loo outside now!

I don't think the hygiene thing is a problem apart from when they are still making puddles everywhere inside the house, but I do think it would be hard for you to give the dog the training time and walking time you need. Luckily my dp runs pretty much every day and she is obedient running beside him. But when ds2 was a small baby there were definitely days she didn't get her walk and it really showed!

Also bear in mind where you can walk the dog. I can bring them to a huge park and some beach within walking distance of the house - but if I want anything different I have to go in the car and that means the dogs in the boot and the pram or backpack in the body of the car, which is a pain.

So I think it would be easier for you to wait. (Though I must say having grown up with a labrador and having this one now, they are lovely dogs and though large and bouncy they are very child friendly.)

Get Marley & Me out on dvd!

Hollyoaks · 12/10/2009 09:06

Dh and I had two black labs and absolutely adored them but they both destroyed our house during the puppy stage and the girl never grew out of it. She had to be caged at night time as she would wee on the floor every night and they were both hard to control on the lead. Also, the amount of hair they cast is phenomenal and we were constantly hoovering and sweeping up.

When dd came along we gave the girl away to a family friend who was after her since a pup and later gave the boy away to a family member who lives on a farm. It was just too much hard work and although I trusted them and know they wouldn't have bit dd I was always on my guard and couldnt leave them alone with her.

I would advise that you leave it for a few years until your dc are slightly older.

Callisto · 12/10/2009 09:10

I would wait too. Puppies are a huge amount of work and expect lots of puddles and poo on the floor in the first few weeks. House training is fairly easy, but you have to know what you're doing. Also, most responsible breeders wouldn't sell you a pup, knowing you have very young children. I don't think that very young children and pets mix anyway - toddlers can really hurt animals by accident (cuddles can cause internal injuries), puppies need lots of sleep and also have needle teeth that really hurt. And they bite everything, just like babies putting things in their mouths.

Chica31 · 12/10/2009 09:28

I really wouldn't. We have 2 German Shepherds, who I adore, but we now have our DD who is 20 weeks. Luckily they are much older dogs, 14 and 10 so they have coped with a bit of neglect. We also live in Spain, only the last 5 years, so walking them with my DD in the sunshine is great. However, walking in the rain...

tibni · 12/10/2009 09:45

We have had our labrador puppy 3 weeks now and he is a lot of hard work.

My dc's are 8 and 10 and the breeder gave us a 3 hour interview before she would allow us to have one of her pups.

Look on the labrador forum and you will find many threads on how labs do bite as pups. Not in a nasty way but mouthing and they need to be tought bite inhibition. It is a normal part of lab growing up but difficult with young children.

I couldn't have done it with younger children although my friend did with 2 dc's 1 and 4, and has a lovely (although not very trained) dog.