After-school activities. How much is too much?

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Sorry if this has been covered before but did search and couldn't find it. Can I ask you how many, if any, afterschool activities your kids go to each week. My dd is 5 and 1/2 and is beginning ballet this week and last year, she went to a gymnastics class once a week. D.s , almost 8, goes to football training once a week and plays every Saturday morning. Last week, dd had her friend who is the same age as her round to tea, and I was really surprised to find out just how many activities she went to each week. I think it was a min of 4 and sometimes 5! She (the friend) goes to swimming class, gym club, ballet and an art class. Quite apart from the fact that her mum be a miracle worker as she has another dd, aged 2 1/2, what do you all think about so many organised activities?

If my dd doesn't have friends round after school, I must admit her favourite hobby is watching telly, so maybe she would be better off if I 'organised' her social life a bit more! But a bigger part of me feels that kids need time off to do their own thing or to learn to occupy themselves. What do you all think?

There is a family w three kids near me and the mum admitted she spends 400-500 per month on their extra curricular activities!!!

kmg1, you are dead right there. Too many team activities are more about competition than simply taking part and having fun, so as long as they want to do it, enjoy it and don't feel "not good enough" they should carry on. (And some of the kids who are very good at something at an early age find to their surprise that the strugglers can eclipse them later on!) DS2, who only took up football a year ago just after he turned 9, is still only a B team player, but takes great comfort from finding out that KIERON DYER didn't start until he was 9 or 10!

beetroot - been there, got several T shirts! I shudder to think how many months of my life in total have been spent shuttling children to and from lessons and clubs, not to mention the time spent sitting there while they did whatever it was if there wasn't time to go away and come back. (2 of them used to do swimming club 3 nights a week! Aaaaargh!) Life is much more restful now...

goodness janh and beetroot, I thought I had it bad with just the two. Once ds 2 starts going to classes things will be even more hectic.

I can see what you are saying Kmg and Janh about it being the taking part and having fun not the achieving that counts but...long sigh....you just don't know how much I would like my son to be just a bit above average at something - anything! It would be so good for him to see if he puts in some effort, he will get the results.

It's a lesson he finds difficult to learn at school. He cruises through, always has done. He does the mimimum amount of work he can get away with. His teachers always say the same thing - he has the potential to do much better and they are frustrated. I think he's working harder now, but self disclpline and motivation are, how shall I put it, not his strong points.

So I thought it would be nice for him to find something to be good at outside school. But every single thing I have taken him to I get variations of the same comment from the leaders - 'your son is messing around too much, can you have a word with him' Sometimes the comment is said mildly, sometimes it is said with such angst I end up tying myself in knots of guilt and frustration. The cub leader saga being a case in point and oh yes, the drama teacher when ds was 7 - he was nearly in tears to me on the phone. When I took my son to cubs last week the leader said, 'I was really afraid when you ds turned up, but he's been ok' AFRAID - and he meant it. DS just won't take the wining of cub badges and all that stuff seriously.

I take my son swimming most weeks so he can practice his strokes - he heads straight for the jacuzzi and I end up shouting threats to get him to swim some widths. I have even paid him to do so!!!

I have resorted to telling him I will refuse to be his taxi service unless he works at these activities. I don't like doing this, but I get so fed up. I would so love him to find an activity that really clicks with him, something he really wants to get on in, hence me thinking of pulling him out of some of his present activities and trying some new ones. Ahhh.. am I turning into a pushy mum?

I hope you do find something he can and wants to excel in. I'm sure it will be good for him.

DS1 (nearly 6) is pretty hopeless with anything sporty - football, bats, balls, etc. He does swimming, which he loves, (but is 'really not good at' - i.e. still can't swim after xxx hours of swimming and swimming lessons!), but nothing else at the moment. I'd like him to 'do' football training or something, to encourage him before he gets hopelessly behind his peers.

But his lack of sporting prowess doesn't seem to bother him, and he does excel in the classroom and academically, and always tries his best at everything.