Pocket Money

[Nutjob]

My ds is 5 and I was considering whether to start giving him pocket money as a way of getting him to understand the value of money and the notion of when it's gone it's gone, but is he too young?
So, oh wise women, when is a good time to start giving pocket money and also how much should you give? Any advice greatly received.

My eldest is 15 and I still do not know the answer to this one. My kids get money when they need it usually. Have tried the earning pocket money number and frankly we can't afford. For 4 children to get a decent amount to be acually able to buy things is difficult. I'll be interseted to see what others do as well.

Hi Nutjob
I am a fan of pocket money. I think we started giving ds1 pocket money when he was abt 5. He's now 10. We have calculated it @ 10p per year, ie he got 50p per week when he was 5, now he gets £1. It seems to have worked well, he is good at saving and early on realised that if he only spent 10p on sweets, he'd have more to save for something worthwhile. Its easy to justify differences with younger siblings if there is a rule like this too. Dd gets 70p and ds2 shd get 30p (but in practice I just give him 10p at the shop on Saturday to get a Freddo and he is happy). Quite a few families I know use the same system. Sometimes the kids come home with tales of how much more other children at school get but on the whole it seems to be about right. I have found that it takes care of those 'I really want a xxx' conversations because if its something worth £5 or less, then it is perfectly feasible for them to save up for it.

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My dd asked about pocket money at 5 so I decided that she start having some when she started Year 1 at school. This was last September and she was just over 5 and a half. I give her £1 per week, sometimes a coin in her money box but usually I transfer it across on the net so she saves it. However we keep a record of her bank account so she changes the amount saved every so often and likes it growing. As for spending it, she sometimes asks if she can take some pocket money when we go out for a day trip.

Our d.s gets 2 euros per week (about 1.20) and he is 7 yrs. If we have a tight week (often!), he is good about understanding that its not possible sometimes. He doesn't have to do specific jobs to 'earn' the pocket money but he is expected to help around the house, taking the rubbish out, tidying up etc. He has saved just about all his pocket money so far tho we on;y started giving this to him regularly about a year ago.

D.d. is 5 and has not asked, so we don't give, just buy things as she needs them with a few treats thrown in! It doesn't bother her yet that her brother has something she doesn't have, unless its a bar of chocolate of course !!

If I stopped my son's pocket money when he was naughty, he'd never get any - he'd probably end up owing us money instead!

Mine are doing quite well according to this, are we being ripped off!!!!!! They get a £1 for each year, ie two six year olds get £6 a month and 9 year old £9.
Since Christmas however we are splitting it, they get half whatever and the rest at the end of the month if they have tried to keep their rooms tidy.
I read in a book that you shouldn't link it to doing jobs but they need to understand the value.
They don't get any other money except for their activities and group outings, ie cinema

I've just introduced it for ds, aged 5. It works like this:
On the windowsill in the kitchen there are 2 jam jars. One is labelled the "Counting Jar", and the other is full of pasta. Every time he helps clear up the playroom, goes to bed without a fuss, generally tries to keep his room tidy etc, he gets a piece of pasta in the counting jar. Pieces are taken out for bad behaviour - altho' have yet to resort to it!

On Saturdays, the money is counted up, and he gets 5p for every piece of pasta in the counting jar. So far, so good!

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I am glad to see these postings. I heard a disturbing report on the radio recently, that was talking about pocket money being in the region of £10 per week (although I can't remember what the age was) and I was thinking OMG!!! Perhaps it's the nature of the mums using the internet as a resource, and truly caring about the upbringing of their children, that seems to find so many likeminded people on this website, rather than leaving it to chance... I do believe in teaching the value of money - my father did so for me and my sisters. We had to do usual chores (like clearing the dinner table etc) but extra pocket money could be earnt for doing special jobs like cleaning the car, or whatever... Again, I am talking older than children discussed here, but for some reason we were never that bothered by having to have "stuff" below the age of about 12. My biggest fear about having become a mum is the desperate pressure that parents seem to be under for ghastly marketing merchandise (pokemon et al) designed specifically to empty the parents bank accounts into the large coffers of the toy manufacturers...

Kkgirl - I don't think you are being ripped off - I think most of the figures quoted here are weekly sums whereas yours is monthly and so equates pretty well with the others.

We haven't even considered pocket money yet (ds is 5) since it just hasn't come up yet. It soon will by the sound of it, eeek. I think when it does we'll go for 50p a week or something. I like the idea of the pasta jar fms, that would appeal to my ds.

My 5 yr old daughter has mentioned it a few times, have managed to fob her off so far!!! A mischievious uncle told her to ask me why she didn't get any!!!

I like the pasta jar idea. Havent so far linked pocket money to jobs, and wonder if any parents of older children (10+) have suggestions about this? We will need to increase ds1's pocket money once he is at secondary schl I guess, maybe give £10 per month but expect him to buy his own cinema tickets, swimming admisssion etc? Or maybe that wont be enough...I think some of his older friends get more than this but the parents have more to spare so we wont necessarily be able to 'match'. Luckily he has a little cleaning job with a neighbour so tends to get an extra £1 or £2 a week, which is fantastic for all concerned.

Just to scare you all - my 14 year old sister gets £80 a month. She does have to buy her own clothes out of this, but not school uniform stuff or contribute at all to the cost of her pony. My parents aren't as well off as this sounds - Mum is in local govt and Dad a teacher. FWIW I completely disagree with this - especially as her sum contribution to household life is to tidy her room and take her dirty washing downstairs. (Do I sound bitter and jealous at all ?)

I have 4 kids, 13,9,7.5 and 4 and it's hard for the oldest one, who does have well off friends, to keep up with the things they do. He gets 5 pounds a week, but when you think that a cinema ticket is nearly four pounds, then they all get McDonalds, he doesn't have enough money. This does cause ructions! If the gang decide to go to a skate park, for instance, then usually the mums will split the driving so the lads don't have to use their money for trains/busess (I don't really like him going on the train anyway, and he always has to be with someone else). The other two get five and 2.50 in order of age and the little one doesn't get anything at the moment, apart from the odd comic. I do agree that kids should have jobs to do! I work as well and used to find myself clearing up (not even cleaning!) their rooms every day as well as the rest of the house. By clearing up, it generally means shoving it away in case of visitors! Now, when I get up on Saturday mornings, I just shout room inpection and if their rooms aren't tidy, no pocket money! It really is disgusting what a 13 year old can hide in his room for a week and if it's dirty plates that are mouldy, then HE does them! Apart from that, they don't help too much, but I will pay extra for odd jobs here and there. The 13 year old wants to get a paper round, but it really is badly paid and I really don't want him riding around in the dark mornings and evenings, so we've hit on a great solution. I have 20 shirts a week to iron and he now does them, for extra cash. I taught him one day and said that if he did them properly, he'd get paid. It's not bad really, he gets to watch TV and earns money at the samew time and I know he's safe (apart from the odd iron burn when he's watching Baywatch!). He gets an extra 2.00 a week for that but I don't think he's told his mates eyt! Now that's an idea for when he's being a complete Kevin instead of Mummy's little soldier!

Hi,
I give my 2 sons pocket money every friday. they are 3 and 7. They get 50p and £1 respectively. They only get this though if they have done their jobs. The older one is expected to leave his bed made and curtains open in the morning before school and to make sure clothes aren't left in a heap. the younger one simply has to put his pyjamas away each morning ( and even thats hard work!) They both get asked to tidy toys up at night too. When they see things they want in shops i don't buy it, i tell them they have to save up their money. It's amazing how they suddenly don't want it quite so much. I think it's good because they understand the value of money a bit more ( although not so much at three)

Prufrock,
i aggree it is ludicrous, specially when they never help out! My 14 year old cousin gets £20.00 every week( the same) and she doesn't do a thing. Her parents don't have well paid jobs, they have a small house in a bad area. My dh thinks it is right to get this much as things like going for Mcdaonalds etc cost alot so i can see us having conflicting views when ours reach that age! Thankfully we have a few more years yet.

Prufrock, I feel bitter and twisted never mind you! Wish someone would give me half that each month!!! Great to read the replies as this hasn't arisen yet but I love the idea of the counting jar will probably use that one soon on our dd!

I think the not being able to afford McDonalds argument would certainly be reason to keep pocket money to a minimum

Prufrock I am shocked too! I suppose £10 a month wouldnt go far, which is what I had been naively thinking. One cinema ticket and 2 swims and it wd be nearly gone. I think expecting (most) girls to buy their own clothes might work, but I cd see myself giving ds the money and him wearing the same stuff for years, not minding, prefering to buy CDs. I guess thats all part of growing up huh.

We tried giving regular money but with 4 of them & a tight budget it just got too much.

My grandma sends them a small amount every month & I give my eldest £10 per month on top (she's 16). She's always been the one needing money for bus fares, clothes and other bits & pieces. The others only buy sweets. I'm getting to the point where I want to stop giving her money on the grounds that she ought to have a Saturday job. She had a temp one till Xmas but now says she can't be bothered. She also can't be bothered to pull her weight at home, so funds will soon be withdrawn. (I was working full time at her age, and giving money to my mum!)

All of mine moan & argue when asked to do the simplest thing (like put away their own clean clothes), so I'm really not inclined to give them money. They don't go anywhere, so grandma's money seems to cover it. If there's a school disco I pay, & we don't go to mcdonalds...

We did the 10p/week thing too, until the older ones reached teenage years and started going out on their own. They mostly saved it until they were seven or eight-ish. If they badly wanted to buy something we would match what they managed to save themselves. We've never really linked pocket money to behaviour - too disorganised to remember who-did-what-to-whom each week - or to having to earn it. I prefer to emphasise a 'we're all in this together' approach to household chores.

Since last year, when our dd1 was 15, we've given her 65gbp a month. It sounds an awful lot (and certainly more than dh and I have for ourselves!) but we looked at it as though she was spending her own Child Benefit rather than me spend it for her and give her pocket money. She has to buy everything with it, apart from school uniform, including birthday and Xmas presents for family and friends, school lunches, clothes and shoes and all outings. (We have no public transport locally, so going to the nearest town with a cinema costs 7.70gbp in taxi and then the bus, unless one of us is around to drive her, which costs a gallon of petrol, too!)

I have to say, I did gulp when we made out the bank transfer but it has worked really well. It has stopped the arguments over extra money for this, that, or the other and IIRC, she hasn't once asked for any additional money since we started. She is extremely thrifty and has a great eye for worthwhile bargains - if you want to buy all your Xmas pressies for 20 quid, she's your girl. Also, designer labels somehow don't appeal any more when you have to buy things youself!! All in all, I reckon we have saved money by doing this.

We did something similar for our boys, which also worked okay, although they weren't as good as dd1 at budgeting. Because we've got big age gaps we've never been in the position of having to give 65gbp x 2 or 3 but I can see that if you have a couple of teenagers close together, it wouldn't be so easy to do.

All of ours had p/t jobs at various stages and to be honest, I think that's when they realised the value of money. When they understand they've had to wash dishes for four hours to buy a desired CD it concentrates the mind greatly!

Oh yes, forgot to say, dd1 babysits for us, which also saves us a tenner if we want to go out.

It is an expensive, world they live in. I remember when I took my first part time job at 15 and earned 17.50 for two evenings and a whole long saturday (a checkout gal at a supermarket!!) at which point my monthly allowance (which I think I had had for about a year of about £30 per month - out of which I had to buy everything apart from school clothes) was revoked! I think when children get to teens, and start to want to branch out and get real independence, then it is down to what you can afford and what you think is reasonable, without blurring the idea of the worth of money.

for exmaple: A friend of mine who owns a hair salon was recently complaining about the change of attitude in teenagers coming for interviews for junior positions. All "world owes me a living" attitude with more pocket money from the parents than she could afford to pay them for a long week's work! Their bedrooms are filled with DVD players, films, stereos, designer clothes etc, and you do wonder why they would want to slog their guts out all week, when they have more than they need from mum and dad...

As parents we have a duty to give our children the skills they need to survive without us - not try and keep them at home forever (even though we want them to!)... Hop off my soapbox now...