Dilemma - should I report nursery?

[Fionn]

I've just fallen out with a friend over something which may seem relatively trivial but which has made me very angry (unnecessarily so in the opinion of my friend).
Two weeks ago it was said friend's turn to host our weekly NCT meeting. When I arrived she said she thought her youngest might have conjunctivitis but wasn't sure and was taking him to the doctor later that afternoon. The other mother (also a good friend) there stayed with her children, as did I. My friend took her child to the doctor and when she came back I said "is it conjunctivitis?" She said "well, the doctor was vague, we've got drops anyway" or something like that. I didn't question further, and assumed that meant the anser to my question was "no". My friend then asked if I could pick up her children from nursery in 3 days time as she was away all day at a wedding. I agreed.
I spoke to my friend 2 days later and she said her child was a bit poorly and had been sent home from nursery and she'd let me know whether she was still going to the wedding. The next morning I spoke to her and she said child was fine, "just a bad cold" and was going to nursery. When I picked her child up from nursery at 5pm he had very crusty eyes and obviously had conjunctivitis. I'd agreed to take her child back to my house until someone else picked him up an hour later.
To cut a long story short, my friend told me a few days later that it was conjunctivitis. I was amazed and said I would never have agreed to look after her child if I'd known, particularly as dp was due to have laser eye surgery a few days later. She said she'd made it clear at the time, I said I felt she hadn't. Anyway, I said I thought she was selfish and irresponsible, believing that she had deliberately misled me. She was very upset at this accusation and we've fallen out. Apart from that problem, I feel very angry at the nursery for accepting a child (and this child wasn't the only one) with such an infectious complaint. I am tempted to report it to the council, without naming my friend's child, as I feel the nursery has acted very irresponsibly. To make matters worse my 4-year-old has come out with the infection. I'm annoyed about that, upset at falling out with a friend but still feel I'm in the right. Am I over-reacting?

And Lil the nanny is fine unil she goes and catches the illness of the child and goes off sick herself!

I agree with CAM - DS1 got his 1st bout of conjuncitivits after falling face first in the mud at a duck pond! No other children involved at all.

Interesting to read the different views here! After considering them, I don't think I will report the nursery. However, I would be furious if my son's own school accepted a child while they were still taking the drops and therefore presumably still infectious. My GP told me when he prescribed the drops for my son that he should stay off nursery school until all symptoms had disappeared as it was infectious until that time.
In retrospect, I should have pushed my friend at the time to be more precise, but I assumed I didn't have to as I wrongly assumed that she would have the same attitude as me. A lesson learnt!
And whilst I agree it's annoying to have to keep a child off from private nursery when they're not seriously ill, it's also annoying to find myself in the situation I'm now in of having to stay in with my sons on a rainy day and not allow any visiting children because of a situation I could have avoided if my friend had been a bit more considerate!

Or what about when I got called home from work having just arrived (25 mile journey) because DS had a blister on his hand which was suspected as hand,foot and mouth although I assured them he trapped it in the washing machine door. i then had to struggle to make an appt for that day with the doctor who confirmed that I was wasting her time and DS was fine and could be accepted back into nursery the next day.

So I don't expect to have your problems Fionn because I think my nursery policy is at the opposite extreme. I'm glad you have been able to make your decision and hope that DP's surgery/recovery progresses well.

I don't think children should be sent to school/nursery until they are no longer infectious. What about the chance of infecting children who have compromised immunity? That's often given as a reason for all children having vaccinations so I'm not sure why this is different.

Sue, unless children with 'compromised immunity' are kept in an oxygen bubble, they can atch diseases from anyone, anywhere. You can't expect a nursery to run itself like a quarantine!

So why do people get het up about non-immunised children being at nursery? That's what I'm musing over, Lil!

Since my dd started nursery 2 months ago she has a a constant cold, cough, sniffles, and a couple of days of weepy eyes. They also have a policy of staying off for 24 hours after antibiotics are started, and send kids home with vomiting/diorehea (sp - but you know what I mean)
I see this as part and parcel of my dd being at nursery and mixing with other kids, and welcome it as it enables her immune system to grow - there is evidence that some kids are getting asthma/eczma and other immune sytem diseases because they are kept in too sterile an environment nowdays.
However Fionn I have to say that given that your dp has eye problems (which your friend is presumably aware of) that it was irresponsible of her to expect you to look after a child with an eye infection without giving youthe full facts

Suedonim - I think it's because the diseases that are immunised against can be a lot worse than conjunctivitis or a cold?

My ds was a severe chronic asthmatic and the number of times we sat in hospital fearing for his life was awful. Often attacks were triggered by a cold, so I don't agree that colds are harmless. Mostly, of course, yes they are harmless and it's hard to avoid them, but I's do anything to reduce the risk and it made me mad when a child with a streaming nose and hacking cough turned up at school as I knew that we'd have a good chance of ending up in A&E within 5 to 10 days. And for children with CF, the outcome is much more serious, of course. At least my DS grew out of his problem; those with cf don't.

My ds was a severe chronic asthmatic and the number of times we sat in hospital fearing for his life was awful. Often attacks were triggered by a cold, so I don't agree that colds are harmless. Mostly, of course, yes they are harmless and it's hard to avoid them, but I's do anything to reduce the risk and it made me mad when a child with a streaming nose and hacking cough turned up at school as I knew that we'd have a good chance of ending up in A&E within 5 to 10 days. And for children with CF, the outcome is much more serious, of course. At least my DS grew out of his problem; those with cf don't.

When I worked at centers I had so many parents bring their children in with thick green and yellow runny noses and hacking coughs. They were most always sent home. Then the next day we would would find out they had a bad infection. The next thing you knew the whole class was running around like this. I think minor runny noses and a little cough is fine not much you can do to control it (can go on for months none stop) I would of been out of job after job if the children were sent home for colds. Its the hacking cough and thick green and yellow runny nose you have to really look for. This is the very contagious stuff when its at its worse.

Sue, as an aside can I ask how your son was diagnosed? I though they didn't diagnose asthma before a year. Were you referred to a specialist?

Bleeeugh, Threeangels, what a disgusting vision that brings up!! It's what my mum calls a 'candle nose.'

Lil, my ds was 4 when he developed asthma, so not a baby. He was under several specialists but he had something called 'brittle' asthma, which meant it was extremely unpredictable and uncontrollable. He'd likely do better with the more sophisticated treatments available today. It was only after he threw it off that I realised how much it dominated our lives.

SueDonim - How funny.