How would you explain vegetarianism to a 3 year old?

[TraceyP]

I am vegetarian, dh and dd are meat eaters. My dd has started asking questions about why I don't eat meat, and is not accepting being fobbed off with "because I don't like it". Dh made the mistake of telling her once that I used to eat meat, so now she wants to know exactly what my reasons are for being veggie. I've tried the simple explanations that some people just don't eat meat, to which the question is always "but why not? I want to know why not". When I tell her that's just the way it is, she still asks, "but why?".

She enjoys eating meat, and I don't want to start putting her off it, but I don't really know how to answer her questions without making her feel that she shouldn't be eating meat either. I don't want to go into graphic detail with her, of course, but I'm at a loss how to explain it.

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Tracey
DP and I don't eat meat (eat fish) and my children (dd 2 and ds 4.5) are veggie by default - ie I don't cook meat for them but if they are at other people's houses and want to try meat then I don't make a big deal of it. DS has just started to want to have things like ham which he's tried a couple of times.

I have said to him that I don't like to eat meat because I don't like to eat animals but some people think it's Ok to eat animals. I have explained to him what meat is in a very matter of fact way. TBH I think many children don't realise what they are eating when they eat meat and my ds is certainly fascinated to find out that people eat pigs, cows etc. Also I think for my son it makes sense - he's interested in animals and realises they eat each other! I don't think it has particularly put him off but then again he doesn't eat meat on a regular basis. Hope this helps

Puddle, to be honest I've shied away from telling her that meat is dead animal! She's only three and still very literal about these things. I'm not sure that she's made the connection yet that chicken really is made from chickens and lamb from lambs, perhaps when she works that out explaining that some people don't like to eat animals would make more sense to her.

It might be easier if both dh and I were vegetarian as then it might have been easier to keep her veggie, too. Once she got to about 2, she wanted more say in the foods she ate, and seeing Daddy eating meat, it was natural for her to want to as well.

My friend tells her DS - If it was/is a living creature "With a face" then we dont eat it

Tessiebear, I don't want to moralise with her, or for her to think that what Daddy is eating is wrong, either!

Sorry - didnt read the whole thread!

Could you take the tack of 'I don't like it?' I am not veggie anymore but am rather dreading explaining where meat comes from to dd1.

MI, she knows that I used to eat meat (bl**dy dh!) and so when I say "I don't like it", the questions start again. "But why? You used to like it ... why?". She has actually told me that I'm not answering her properly and she really, really wants to know - but I'm just not sure how much is appropriate at her age.

I think you'll have to explain what meat is. I agree about not moralising or condemning - think you're being brilliant!

If I'm being brilliant I'd hate to see being crap! I bluff my way through motherhood (and everything else, really!) and I can see me bluffing my way through this too!

Eventually I think I will have to explain what meat is. She will make her own mind up about vegetarianism/meat eating when she's older, I just want her to enjoy her food without thinking that she's doing something wrong just because I choose not to do it.

Doesn't everyone bluff their way through motherhood? I honestly want to burst out laughing every time I say to dd1 'darling, don't do that' (that's my MUM talking, not me!) or 'why don't we do that later?' or 'shall we go to the park now?' Keep looking round to see if I'll be caught out.

btw, MI, if you're still there, just seen the photograph. She's gorgeous!!! Hope they fit.

Now must log off and pay attention to poor old DP!

I am a veggie dp isnt and neither are my dds, I thought that when I did explain what meat really is it would turn them into veggies, but no, dd1s veggie friend age 6 came round for tea and enlightened them as to what fish and chicken nuggetts etc were and my two both sat there munching away on thier nuggets without even blinking.
Dd age 3 proudly announces shes eating a real fish when we go to the chippy, dd age 6 wont touch it because it is a fish.
DD age 6 loves her nuggets so much she doesnt care ATM.
Id tell her that burgers are made from cows and you dont want to be eating a cow. She sounds very bright, and if she decided she also didnt like the idea theres nothing to say the lure of Mcdonalds at 8 or 13 might change her back again.

My only suggestion is tell US the reasons you decided to give up meat and lets see how we can simplyfy it and beak it down a bit for her. How old is she?

Other than that I think something along the lines of ... becasue to get meat darling you have to take it from an animal and some people don't like the idea of eating animals, and that's me, and some people don't mind, like daddy. There is no right or wrong, it's just some people want to eat it and some people don't. Everyone is different arn't they darling. Some people drive cars and others ride bikes. Some people go to work and some people stay at home with their children. ??????????????? Something like that maybe????

I'll also have this one in a few years to come. I think I will use the "I don't like it" for a few years then she can make up her own mind.

hey hey
in for a peeny.
I think you should actually make her veggie and then give her the choice when she can make an objective decision about whether or not she wants to eat meat.
It won't hurt her to bring her up veggie, then when she can understand what meat eating is she can then decide whether or not she wants to.
It breaks my heart to see all of these beautiful little people laugh and make noises like farm animals when they see them in books and on pretend farms and then get served up sausages and burgers full of meat from said animals.
(retreats into corner, having lit the touch paper)
I know we aren't all perfect, and all have a cut off point- don't want to enter into a debate about leather etc etc,
But i do feel that maybe we could let the kids decide TO eat meat when they understand what it is about, not to STOP eating meat iyswim

oops,"in for a penny"

Maybe say that you don't eat meat because it is made of animals and that makes you feel a bit funny/sad. I think Thomcat's idea of saying that people think different things and it doesn't mean one is wrong and another is right is excellent.
I'm not sure ds understands that the chicken in the farmyard is the chicken on his plate, but he is beginning to realise that birds eat worms etc, and he isn't very judgemental about the birds!

reading this with interest. We don't eat meat in this house - DH is veggie - I would be if I could resist pork pies at buffets (and also crave meat when I'm pregnant!)So far, we haven't had this conversation because DS1 is only 2y8m but he did ask the other day if he could have ham (we had inlaws over and MIL can't eat cheese so we never know what to put in her sandwiches!)I directed him to DH (he is the veggie one!!!) who reluctantly said he could try some if he wanted. Needless to say, DS1 didn't like it (not because it was meat - he doesn't like food much anyway)
I think we'll probably go down the route of thomcat's suggestion. You have to be honest in this game I think. Do you have to say that it's dead animal at this age? Won't "some people don't like it and som do - like olives" work with a three year old? (ignorant of this yet as DS1 not learnt the "Why?" thing yet

When my daughter first asked me about vegetarianism (can't remember what age she was) I explained that some people just didn't like the taste of meat and some people didn't eat meat because they felt it was cruel to eat animals. I told her she didn't have to eat meat if she didn't want to but she would have to eat lots more vegetables if she didn't eat meat! She still eats meat! Having been beaten as a child for being a "fussy eater" I strongly feel that we should not impose our own views on our children regarding what they should eat though obviously would try to ensure they have a reasonably balanced diet.

Love Thomcat's post - I'm in a similar position..dh is veggie, I am not but have not eaten meat in front of the children since ds was old enough to be interested, both children are being brought up veggie (although they watch other children eat meat at nursery..about half of the children there are veggie so they don't stand out too much).
Ds asked me this weekend for 'fish fingers' - I explained we don't eat fish fingers and offered veggie fingers..this ended up in a discussion about not eating animals...but ds has no objection to eating animals so I am now having to decide whether this means I should let him eat meat if he wants to (not cook it for him, but if we were out and it was an option).
Will watch this thread with interest TraceyP!

Ooooh, you're all so wise! Thomcat, I think you might be right. My reasons for being veggie, by the way - I'm one of those veggies who don't meat because it used to have a face and after feeling guilty about it for ages decided I should do something about it! I don't feel I can inflict my feelings onto someone else though.

Biketastic, I do take your point about letting them chose to eat meat if they want. I began raising dd as a veggie, until she became old enough to decide that she'd like to try meat - and did. I do ensure that the meat I buy for dh and dd is free-range "freedom food" in order to at least remove the guilt of buying intensely farmed meat.

Pabla -interesting that after your discussion your dd still eats meat! Perhaps they're not such sensitive little souls after all ...

My friend's little girl, aged 3, used to yell as she was pushed round the supermarket - "Look Mummy! We don't eat that because it's DEAD ANIMALS isn't it?!"