Would you let your daughter play rugby????

[MUMINAMILLION]

dd2 who is 9, plays with a local mixed-sex rugby team. She absolutely loves it and is very very good. She can run like a whippet and has no fear whatsoever. She is very small but can bring down boys double her size and strength (might come in handy once she's older and looking for a bloke! ).

However, she has no sense of danger and has already been thrown through the air and landed on her arm. Fortunately she didnt break it - this time. What I am really worried about is that one day she will break her nose. Would you let your daughter play rugby or some other close-contact sport?

Thanks hatter. Im going to look into different sports for her. Im sure there is something else out there that will appeal to her and save the NHS masses of money!!

Can you get helmets? I have seen grown up rugby players wear them, boxers wear them. Personally I think you are simply reinforcing sterotypes if you stop your daughter playing. What kind of message are you sending her? That girls should be sitting at home looking pretty, whilst boys are allowed to do the 'manly' stuff. I am sorry this makes me so cross that sexism is so alive and thriving. The team is mixed sex, therefore other girls do it, just because your girl is prettier she should stop!!

I know it isn't all shallow reasons and that you are simply worried she might hurt herself. But then you had better stop her riding a bike, running through the house, and certainly not let her out to play. All my scars are from things that are totally normal kids stuff to do, yet I had about 8 lots of stiches as a girl (some on my face) and I don't think I am that ugly ;)

Please rethink this, she is enjoying herself, and yes she might get hurt, but equally she could get hurt doing many things. I used to do gymnastics and diving, I saw far worse injuries as a reult of these things than I have ever seen on a rugby field. Imagine falling off a balance beam and breaking your leg, or cracking your head open on the diving board and falling unconsious into the water. Dangerous things!!

Sorry if I sound so strident, as I know you are trying to protect her, that's your right, but please think of her. You can't wrap her in cotton wool and this will probably give her more than taking it away will save her from IYKWIM.

I certainly do not want her just to sit and home looking pretty!!! Maybe I would feel happier if it was a rugby team with children her own age/size, but as it is it is a mixed group, and she is getting thrown around my boys twice her size. Am not stereotyping, would feel exactly the same if it was a little boy I had!

Muminamillion - she sounds absolutely fab! I undertook lots of 'dangerous' sports as a child / teenager, and I think that if she has 'spirit' she is only going to be happy with things that give her the same level of challenging physicality, (i.e also 'dangerous') and if you stop her, she'll resent it like mad.

I think it's fantastic for a young girl - particularly a small one, to have the chance to gain confidence and skills in physicality. It must boost her entire self-esteem - and may well help protect her from harm in the future.

I'd say let her get on with it, and be proud of her!

I would let her if she loves it that much. A friend at school lost her top front (adult) teeth playing hockey, another girl broke her nose. All sports have their dangers. Your daughter may find that once she gets older she's siphoned off into a girls'/womens' team rather than mixed.

Are there any other local teams with age restrictions? My brother enjoyed mini-rugby when he was in primary - it was run at weekends by the local independent school and played in regional competitions with other similiar groups, but they were quite stict about age groups.

Thanks Blu. I am really proud of her - to see her hurtling across that field is like nothing on earth! I'm still undecided, so many pros and cons. I'll let her carry on for a while and maybe see how it goes. People on MN get so passionate about things dont they???

Muminamillion, are there any local rugby clubs around that have all girls teams? That might make it a bit safer, as it seems like the mixed-sex aspect is probably the most worrying.

Sorry, not much help here - I only have a DS so can't properly understand your dilemma. But I did play it when I was older (at university, like Susanmt) and absolutely loved it. I didn't suffer any injuries either.

I'll ask her if she would consider it. She goes to the current one with her boy cousin who is her best friend. So Im not sure how she would feel about leaving him to go to an all-girl team, although that would definately be the most obvious option.

Sorry if I sounded harsh, I know you are simply trying to protect your child, something we all try to do. I think Blu and muddaofsuburbia put it much better than me

If she is felling boys twice her size, she is obviously some player, I know you are proud, and it must be hard not to wince - but if she enjoys it. I'd let her continue.

Thanks crunchie. Im slowly coming round to that way of thinking. I know Im being over-protective, comes with the territory I suppose. And she's so fast, she can probably out-run any trouble!! Anyway, you never know, you might see her playing for Scotland one day - or even better, South Africa so she might have a chance of winning!!

MIM - meant to add - the girl I knew who broke her nose playing hockey, played rugby too (girls' team) and never had any injuries - just from hockey.

My son has been playing club rugby since he was six. he also had girls in his team froam that age, they were brilliant players, and gradually dropped out by the age of 11 as there were to many 'bits appearing' to be grabbed!

I have a lot of admiration for the girls who play, they seem to be much better than the boys and take knocks far more easily.

DS has been playing for 11 years and the worst he has ever done is dislocate his shoulder, and I can't think of any other injuries amongst the rest of the team. If it is closely supervised and refereed well, there should n't be any cause for worry.

Thanks mudda. I suppose I should just be glad that she is so eager to do some kind of sport. If she is so keen, I really should support her, despite my reservations.

Just had a thought - in amateur rugby, aren't you allowed to wear protective headgear?

Ali, just goes to show our threshold for pain is much higher even when we are young!!! Mudda, have just been informed by dd2 that they are allowed to wear helmets, although only 1 boy does, and we have to buy them! This is the county rugby team we are talking about - would have thought they could have provided some protective equipment!! I could have a look for some, but knowing the kind of person she is, I doubt she would wear it!