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"Small children [are] deeply boring [...] and should be left strictly to those who [are] ill educated enough not to care."

31 replies

emkana · 09/07/2004 19:07

This is a sentence I came across in a (rather silly) novel I read on holiday. It's about a stay-at-home mum with a rich husband and an au-pair who gave up a promising career to be a lady who lunches, because she's bored and frustrated. Not surprising, really, as she does nothing all day - her children are in school, the housework is done by others, voluntary work is sneered at by her. So a totally stupid cow, really. And my thought when I read the sentence in the subject line was "Well, if that's how you feel, then you really are better off at work." But then I have moments when I'm standing by the swings for the hundredth time and I DO feel bored out of my mind... so I just thought I'd throw this sentence into the Mumsnet arena and see what, if any, reaction I'll get!

OP posts:
Angeliz · 09/07/2004 19:19

She was obviously speaking about herself.

I am a SAHM and i think it's an honour that i have these few years with dd and she's all mine. She starts school in September so it's flown by already.
People who would make such comments are obviously very stuck up and not very bright in the grand scheme of things.

(Not that i don't EVER get bored, just i wouldn't make such a comment)

wobblyknicks · 09/07/2004 19:20

People who say things like that are obviously incapable of bringing up interesting kids or having friends who have interesting kids.

eddm · 09/07/2004 19:42

Small children are, IMO, fascinating. But then I work full-time so the time I spend with ds is precious. And he's only one so I don't have much recent experience of older children. But I think if you are bored by your own children, you must be a very boring person yourself. (Although I'm sure it is possible to find the constant repetition boring: 'again, again' and some of the games you are supposed to play with them are very irritating. Can't stand the bl**dy wheels on the bus myself).

Lonelymum · 09/07/2004 19:49

I don't find my children boring, but I must admit, the older they become, the more interesting I find them. The trouble, I think, is that people find other people's small children boring, so it can be difficult to find anyone who wants to talk to you about them.

Janh · 09/07/2004 20:48

Some small children are more boring than others - I think I would expect a silly cow like this to have the most boring kind!

Yes of course they can all be a bit tedious, and they do go on a bit sometimes, but the way they learn and grow and develop is mostly fascinating. So ner to her. (Author's name so we can avoid her in future?)

motherinferior · 09/07/2004 23:09

I do find my own small children rather wearing sometimes . Sometimes they are utterly maddening, in fact.

But I don't consider my childminder 'insufficiently educated to care'. I don't think she does have the same level of higher educational qualifications I do, but that isn't the point: she's incredibly interested in, informed about, and energetic about small children.

motherinferior · 09/07/2004 23:10

Can I say in my own defence it isn't my children who are boring, it's the things they want to do?

Angeliz · 09/07/2004 23:10

motherinferior, that post (last line), did make me smile!

daisy1999 · 09/07/2004 23:13

Maybe the "small children" in question are "boring" BECAUSE they have been "left strictly to those who [are] ill educated enough not to care." Just a thought!

poppyseed · 09/07/2004 23:19

That does make me so cross and is very topical for me as this weekend had a reunion with some old friends who I used to teach with before DD and DS came along 5 years ago. ("So, what do you do all day?" was a great question to answer!!) Intelligent mothers make intelligent children......I feel very honoured that I receive no pressure from DH to return to work, financially or otherwise, so that I can hopefully give both our children what we see to be a good start in life. I always try to imagine death-bed scenario in times of boredom/stress...nobody ever says that they wish they had spent less time with their children.

poppyseed · 09/07/2004 23:20

or do they??!!

daisy1999 · 09/07/2004 23:21

poppyseed I hope I didn't offend you. I meant the stupid woman you'd said that about her children was illeducated. I too am a sahm and can't imagine anything better.

lavender1 · 09/07/2004 23:30

I can understand mothers feeling that sometimes, when mothers have swopped the office world for changing nappies and trying to get toddlers to do exciting things...but you know I do agree with poppyseed, whilst I wouldn't go around saying am intelligent because am a normal, switched on person, I do really believe experiences with anyone are very much influenced by your attitude to that situation and how much you want to give to that situation ie. if you treat looking after your little ones like trying to teach them all about the world, try new things each day and realise that they have such enormous potential for learning from birth and spend time doing lots of things with them, then it is not boring...(I spent nearly 6 years at home for ds and dd and they were the best times of my life...children are the best pupils because they just want to learn (not like adults who can become stubborn and set in their ways).....so all can say is "let them enrich your lives, only boring people get bored"

hatter · 09/07/2004 23:31

Agree with Janh - that it's observing their development that it is fascinating. Listening to a child singing Wind the bobbin up may not, in itself, be the most scintillating thing in the world, but, if you're at all interested in the world, in people, in how we communicate, seeing a child progress from "Wiiiiiind bop bop", through to a muddled version involving far too many windows and missing out the ceiling, to finally reach a prefect rendition, complete with pointing at the window and the door, has to rate as one of the most fascinating things to witness. I don't think it's overstating it to compare it with research - researchers conduct the same, tedious experiments every day, but if you've got enough intelliegnce and nouse to see the results they can be fascinating. In other words yah boo to anyone who thinks small children are boring. I'm off to sing wind the bobbin up.

hatter · 09/07/2004 23:33

Cross-posted with Lavender1 then and just wanted to add I agree with you totally.

Slinky · 09/07/2004 23:35

I've been a SAHM since DD1 was born (nearly 9 years ago). I did go back part-time working at a nursery, but I've left that for the moment so that I can spend more time with DD2 before she goes to school in Sept.

Now I'm starting to get the "what will you do with yourself/are you going to get a job?" etc. At the moment, I'm not too sure what I'm planning - have enrolled on an OU course starting Sept. which will also require me to be working voluntarily in a school for at least 5 hours a week (have this already arranged with the Early Years Coordinator to start Sept).

Other than that, I'm planning to swim 3 days a week for an hour (public swimming is between 12.00pm and 4.00pm here).

DH is absolutely fab - I'm extremely lucky in that financially I don't need to go back to work. DH thinks I should just spend some time doing stuff just for me - but I must admit I do get bored when DD2 is at nursery.

I know that I'll never go back to work full-time (ie, 9-5) because at the end of the day I still want to be able to pick the kids up after school. School holidays could pose a problem for me as the ONE holiday club we have locally charges £25 a day then X that by 3 - it wouldn't be worth the hassle.

daisy1999 · 09/07/2004 23:38

interesting and interested carers lead to interesting and happy children!

suedonim · 10/07/2004 00:01

I think small (and big!) children are fascinating, even if some of their activities, such as wanting to have 'The Three Little Pigs' read to them six times a day, are boring and mundane. And I adore teeny-weeny babies, which I know some people think are the ultimate in boredom! I can't rip my eyes away from a newborn. It's certainly a lot more interesting than listening to my high-powered career friend droning on about the office politics of a pharmaceutical company, for an hour at a time.

A handy riposte to the question of what do you do all day is "Whatever I darn well like!"

daisy1999 · 10/07/2004 00:03

LOL Nice reply suedonim

poppyseed · 10/07/2004 00:07

Daisy1999 - sorry wasn't directed at your post at all!!! Just me needing to rant after this weekend as felt in some ways that I am expected to go back to work.....as in some way I must not be fulfilled. But I am!! at the moment.....

strangerthanfiction · 10/07/2004 00:19

It's totally beyond me how anyone can find a child boring. The endless rounds of washing and moments sitting cajoling to eat can be a drag but the kids themselves are the opposite of boring. They're full of energy and imagination, enthusiasm and hysteria. I find dd, who's quite low key in general, never stops learning, experimenting etc., it's usually me who feels boring when I'm with her. I'm a SAHM apart from 2 days a week at work. Those 2 days ARE boring. I treat them as a rest.

daisy1999 · 10/07/2004 00:19

poppyseed relieved I have not upset you. I am in similar position. My twins started school in January and everybody asks what I am going to do (I gave up work when they came along). Dh says I can do whatever I want (stay at home or work). I know I am lucky. To be honest I don't know how I would manage to work anyway, school holidays, sickness, etc, and no family nearby. I am having some ME time whilst they are at school and we have play time when they come home.

poppyseed · 10/07/2004 00:26

You could be me daisy1999. Very similar position although I have DS at home (14 months) as well as DD at school since Jan. I am looking forward to a bit of ME time too (if I can remember how to do it) when DS goes to playschool!! I too am lucky to be married to fab DH who is so supportive in loads of ways..

twiglett · 10/07/2004 00:29

message withdrawn

Paula71 · 10/07/2004 00:32

Intelligent mothers make intelligent children......

I like that sentiment Poppyseed. I think there are enough topics on this site about what they do and say to prove how entertaining the little b*ggers can be! (Sorry, have had a very trying and tiring day when they just-wouldn't-listen!)

It is true that repetition can get tedious sometimes but never boring. When ds twins were babies I was too busy and too tired to get bored and now there are so many things they get up to (and into) that I find it quite entertaining sometimes.

I wonder what the tone of the book was trying to achieve, emkana? It seems there is a constant dig at SAHMs.