Can't pass my driving test, what should I do?

[user1492515611]

First and foremost, I'm not a mother. I'm actually an 18 year old son. I simply joined to post here because I know you can get a lot of reliable advice from this community.

With that being said I've now failed 5 driving tests and it's making life very difficult for me. I have no idea where to go from here. I'm finding it highly stressful and demotivating. It's tiresome and at first I found it funny failing a few times but now it is beyond a joke.

I have a car. I've had a car for nearly a year and yet I cannot drive it. I am the last of my group of friends from Sixth Form to pass my test, and I was the first to have lessons. I've spent nearly £2,000 on lessons and tests combined and it's been a huge investment. I've been pondering over just never learning because I simply cannot handle the test. I make mistakes in the tests that I never make in lessons. My last THREE tests have had less than 2 minors (in the case of my fourth test, I had none) and yet I'd always have one serious fault. I've taken tests at three different test centres. My (third) instructor has said I'm one of the best students he's had in the last 6 months.

Do I stop? My theory test qualification has nearly expired (I've never heard of anyone having to go through the process a second time, so I find this quite embarrassing). I'm getting very upset about this and I'm the laughing stock of friends at Uni and from School as I'm often the butt of driving jokes. It's a big distraction and detraction from exams and I feel like complete shit! I'm getting a lot of pressure from my own mum to pass now as well because I can't afford to keep this up.

I guess I'm just a bit fed up because I know I can drive and have been able to for over 18 months, but I just can't deal with nerves on the test. What should my next course of action be? Any advice is welcome :)

OP, it took me 10 years, 8 tests and 3 instructors for me to pass. Granted I was not learning that whole time, but I did practice a fair bit during that decade (!) as a learner.

Like you, my first test I was nowhere near ready. Also like you, I had several tests with one or no minors and one serious (one was for speeding!) I went though long phases of feeling like you do now, that I wasn't cut out for driving and should just accept my fate. I knew I could drive though, I would drive all over the place with my L plates and dad/XP in the passenger seat, the issue for me was anxiety during the test causing me to panic and make stupid mistakes.

My final test I took while absolutely desperate for the toilet. I'd had an hour long lesson beforehand and the queue for the loos at the test centre was so long that the examiner came for me before I could go. They won't wait, so I had to get in the car. I think the distraction of being utterly desperate took over from the anxiety, and I passed.

I genuinely think I'm a better driver for having been a learner for so long, and having been tested so many times. It's not all bad.

Oh and I had to take my theory test 3 times because it expired! No shame in that, nobody knows but you. (I got 100% on the Q&A sections - twice! )

Oh and I forgot to add! This was all 7 years ago and I passed my advanced test (had to for work) last year

Keep going

I passed on my sixth attempt. Nearly everyone I know who passed first time wrote their car off in the first year.

I agree stop telling people when your test is booked. It removes the pressure. It's nobody else's business and then they don't have to know how many you fail.

I passed third time but found learning to drive incredibly difficult. It took me years after passing to competently reverse park etc. Some people take to it better than others.

Don't quit learning just keep going and get your instructor to do mock tests under test conditions with you. Familiarise yourself with the routes and areas on the test so you don't get caught out by unfamiliarity with your location.

I would also reccomend thinking carefully about the time of day you take your test. My first test was 9am Monday morning one street away from a primary school. Roads were packed, people parked on side of the road illegally and everyone in a rush. Nightmare! I passed on a test that was 10.30am on a Wednesday. Much better time of day for driving!

Good luck and ignore everyone's jokes. I passed seven years ago and I can't remember the last time anyone asked about my driving lessons!

Are you doing the test in your own car? That might be better if you're more familiar with it and cheaper as you're not paying for that lesson and the lesson before.

I would keep going. Phone up every day for a cancellation.

Manoeuvres - practice, practice, practice so you're 100% confident that you can do these no problems. The rest is luck on the day. I made sure I was certain I could do all the manoeuvres without issues so I didn't feel nervous for these (I did massive amounts of practice in my own car). Then I felt like I only had to concentrate on the actual driving on the day.

Oh my love. I could have written your post almost word for word at 18 - multiple failed tests (all on majors, always something different), first of my friends to start lessons, and the only one not to pass, my theory test lapsed.

I know the consensus seems to be to carry on, but actually for me I needed to stop and take the pressure off for a while. I ended up not passing for another 9 years, but that was more down to life and moving somewhere where I didn't need a car for quite a few years.

For me it was down to pure nerves, I'd get to the test and panic and do something ridiculous that I'd never normally do. I was perfectly able to drive, never more than 4 minors, and on the last of my failed tests the examiner actually told me off because I'd driven beautifully (except for the red light that I sailed through )

I didn't tell anyone when I started lessons again, and certainly not when my test was! I had a different instructor who was just right for me - I don't think I had ever considered whether the instructor was right for me when I'd learnt before.

My instructor kept telling me that the test would feel completely different this time round, and he was right. A bit more confidence and a bit more maturity, and a lot less pressure, made all the difference.

Should say I had lessons for 2 months before my test when I did pass, it was much less painless!

Posted too soon - meant to add that I don't feel the lessons I had when I was 17/18 were wasted. That was when I learnt to drive, the lessons later were about erring me test ready and confident.

Keep going. Its only 2k wasted if you stop now. You arent a bad driver at all, you just need to get the test passed.

Just a thought, but could u try driving a moped or motorbike with L plates for a while? (U only need to do a 1 day course called a 'CBT' to b allowed to this!) It will give you independence and motorbikes are great fun! (and less embarrassing than parent lifts of cycle power!) If you drive around on a motorbike/moped for a bit, it will get u confident and very familiar with the roads etc ... while you wait to sit your driving test again. ?

Ps. I know a few people who have done this! And they loved the bikes soo much they didn't bother going back to cars!

You have my empathy! Failing driving tests became my life for a period of time and it knocked me hugely, made me feel so stupid and I used to think I just shouldn't be a driver if I'm clearly so unsafe. But actually it was worth the perseverance. Firstly don't tell friends and family about your lessons or your test - its none of their business, make it your secret side project! Could you have an instructor during semester time? I know exams are coming up now so maybe not the best time but regular practice, at least 3 times a week, is what turned me in to a driver rather than someone who knows how to drive. Last tip, and this is what made me pass... Get google maps open and zoom in on the camera shots where you can see the lanes, and where to change lanes. If you know your local roundabouts on potential test routes then it takes the thought out of it, i.e. which exit to take and you can spend more time on those very intentional head movements towards your mirrors. So please please don't give up because you will pass....and at the age of 30 nobody has ever asked me how many attempts I took!

Keep going op. I failed 4 times and was so embarrassed ready to give up but my lovely instructor told me to book a test and not tell a soul- take away the pressure of having to tell anyone you've failed. Honestly for me it felt like a weight had been lifted and when I did my 'secret' test I didn't go into it with any concerns about having to tell anyone and I passed.
Good luck op it is stressful when you desperately want to pass but you need to take some of the pressure off yourself it will happen.

Keep going! You can drive, you just need 40 mins of everything going your way. It will happen for you I'm sure.

You're probably too young to remember it but there was a TV show called Driving School a while ago. There was a lady on it called Maureen who was a seriously bad driver but even she managed to pass in the end!

Firstly I will say don't give up, I was also the first to start learning to drive out off all my friends but last to pass sigh started at 16 passed at 28 8th attempt problem was everytime I failed I felt to down and stressed I would wait ages to take it again, my theory run out twice done it three times. I promised my self when I pass which was two weeks ago I would Come on one of these discussions to help someone to not give up as one of these post helped me keep going, like others have said you will past just have to have luck with you on the day .

Don't give up. It took me 5 goes and I sound a lot like you - with very few minor fault but one major. It's so frustrating because you know you can drive and see boy racers who passed first time getting involved in accidents or speeding when you know you would be safer.
In the first tests I wasn't ready but ina couple of later tests it felt as though the instructor was quite harsh and I really should have passed. I do think some of it might have been that even though I didn't drive too badly I came across as super nervous and didn't inspire confidence in the assessor so they were subconsciously looking for reasons for me to fail. In the end I nicked some of my mums beta blockers - which made me incredibly chilled out and I aced that test!

It will be so much more expensive if give up now and try again in ten years from scratch when you may have a mortgage/kids/less annual leave and super out of practise.

You can do it but agree with everyone in that you shouldn't tell people when you are away to sit your test, when your theory runs out etc just keep that to yourself and hopefully the pressure will be lifted slightly.

Kalms or the gp for something to calm you down, I jut went herbal but if I had failed one more time I also would have gone to the doc for something

If you can't pass the manual would you consider trying manual, I'm not sure if it's a good idea but I know someone who spent a fortune on lessons with a few different instructors then passed first time with an automatic

Please keep going it's one of my biggest regrets that I gave up when I was so young

Have you got a test booked again? You can tell us! I know how you feel. I had to take my test several times and money was difficult. The time I passed I did everything to relax. Beta blockers sound good. I remember relaxing in a bath and thinking of a book I had just read. Perhaps you have some favourite music you can listen to! Then go into it with a spirit of being fed up with your nerves and to hell with it. Being 18 and going in for tests is great. You should feel proud of yourself. You will do it. Can you post here when you pass as you will do!