Anyone else heard of this saying ????

[Nutcracker]

Dp reckons I have made this up

Neither use nor ornament

It is a proper saying i'm sure. He reckons that it doesn't even make sense.
Seems quite self explanitory to me.

JanH - and plenty of people confirming your take on "I'll go to the foot of our stairs".

I think i just mix with sarcastic types!

I never realised Americans found our language so pituresque!

Coddy was mentioned on that site

I spotted that, Tink. They spelt it wrong too - codswollop - must have been her!

Her ears will be burning - better go.

Hi Skerriesmum. 'Face like a robber's dog' is a better way of saying that if you ask me! I never heard that till I came down south.

I like "chewing a wasp" e.g. Lynne Slater on EE?

My Dad uses the ornament one all the time, and we're oop north.

Also as much use as a chocolate fireguard, better than a poke in the eye with a walking stick, fit as a lop, Ooh I could go on. My Dad is cliche man!

What is it about dads and funny sayings? My dad is full of them. EG, "see you on the ice" meaning see you around/later. Goodness knows where that comes from.

How about "close, but no cigar"?

We also have "as much use as a chocolate teapot" - just slight variation on fireguard theme.

Have "close but no cigar" too - still not sure where that comes from though.

Found it:

Close but no cigar: This one is American in origin, though it is now used in Britain. It is widely assumed that it arose in carnivals, where the prize for ringing a bell with a sledge hammer was often a cigar. If you got close to ringing the bell but didn't actually hit it, you might be told close but no cigar. The phrase then came to be used figuratively for any situation in which someone did not quite reach a goal. It dates from the early 20th century.

I originated in Notts area and both syings were commonly used esp by Grandmother together with "Well, I'll gu t' Trent"

There's some more on here

We say "No sh*t Sherlock" round here.

Her's soem more:

a sandwich short of a picnic

more meat on a butchers pencil (said to skinny person)

Go and play on the railway tracks (said to me as a kid)

They're like rocking horse s**t (ie very rare!!)

Laugh! I nearly passed my fags round!!!

AlanP - do you recognise "it's a bit black o'er bill's mothers"? - Only my mother and grandmother (both from Notts) have ever said it.

totally know this saying! Use it a lot!
Although DP says " it's as much use as a cchocolate teapot" instead

My dh insists I've made these up too (i'm northern, he's southern)
You're like one o'clock half struck (to someone who's dawdling too much)
Let the dog see the rabbit
Hold your horses
i want never gets
you look with your eyes not your hands
Like a bull in a china shop
Gan canny (man)
Time ter mak yer mind up 9mate)
Ho'way man (he does believe me that I didn't invent this one)

I was tortured duriing my childhood and fully intend to pass it down to my sons. Unfortunately, if 'man' ever slips out they thinnk it's hysterical.

oh, and of course, neither use nor ornament is a perfectly normal saying

monkey, I seem to spend half my life saying 'I want never gets' and 'look with your eyes not your hands' to dd. I hadn't really thought about it before but they do sound a bit daft when I think about it...!

Monkey, my mother always said "I want was made to want" which was exceptionally irritating. Or vary it to "I want never gets". But elderly people in the bit of Yorkshire where I grew up used to say "Them as never ask never get" which is the opposite (I think).