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Original poster

Can a rich person and a poor person be friends?

40 replies

Fio2 · 27/05/2004 11:34

I must have too much time on my hands this morning! but can they be friends? It is to do with me, I have made friends with this lady but she is really well off, her house is gorgeous etc and they are typically middle class, son goes to grammar school etc. We on the other hand are very ordinary, live in a run down house, have a 2nd hand car, son will go to local school etc. My husband is clever and has a good job. I on the other hand didnt try to do anything when I left school and feel a bit of a failure. Anyway thats not the point.

The point is can we be friends? I feel embarassed to ask her round here so I am usually at her house! god this sounds awful, i am a letch. Should I just stop worrying what she thinks of me, material wise

OP posts:
LadyMuck · 27/05/2004 14:01

Fio2, IME very few people class themselves as rich; "well-off", possibly, but rarely rich as however much you have you will know someone (or many people) with an awful lot more.

I really wouldn't worry about what she thinks about your house - she'll just think of it as "Fio's house" most likely. Women seem to be able to bridge any wealth gap a lot more easier than men, as motherhood is a shared experience.

Usually the issues that tend to arise are when the "richer" friend keeps on suggesting outings etc that are just too expensive...

Davros · 27/05/2004 17:17

Haven't read all of this thread (too busy counting my money ) but I expect most answers are along the same lines

  • yes you can be friends, as long as NEITHER of you is a snob!
Clayhead · 27/05/2004 17:24

My best freind from school is now worth several millions (money came after we left school). This doesn't make her kids sleep through the night or stop tantrums!! We still have loads in common and the money thing just doesn't come up.

I know it's a bit different as I knew her before. I would stop worrying if I were you.

hatter · 27/05/2004 20:56

Fio,

please please please don't judge by money. I'll lay my cards on the table here and say that there are plenty of "rich" people who have exactly the same worries. I probably risk sounding like a twat here but I'm going to say what I think anyway and try not to (sound like a twat, that is). Me and dh are, in the scheme of things, pretty well off. We have a very nice house, which I know is beyond the means of lots or other people I know. And I am completely paranoid about it. I think people will hate me because of it! I worry about inviting people round because I'm scared they will judge me. But I've learnt that thinking like that is stupid and a friendship is a friendship and if a potential friendship falls down at a hurdle like this then it wasn't meant to be. What I'm saying it if you get on with someone you get on with someone so please don't let something as stupid as money get in the way.

hatter · 27/05/2004 21:00

Didn't see that soapbox had posted along similar lines...

miranda2 · 27/05/2004 21:13

Of course they can, BUT as someone else has said, it can be a practical prob if you go on days out/ meals out/ holidays - some of our friends would suggest going somewhere which we just couldn't afford, but you don't like to be constantly saying so....

Branster · 27/05/2004 21:20

also, fio2, remember most of wealthy people weren't born rich, they accumulated and invested and so on. her parents' house might be exactly like your house. if she didn't like you as a person she wouldn't have invited you around. i think the less well off you are, the more you tend to 'inspect' other properties you visit (must an inspiration factor in there or pure curiosity) and really it's not like you live in a banana tree, your house is your home and your nest, be proud of it!

essbee · 27/05/2004 22:02

Message withdrawn

gothicmama · 27/05/2004 22:05

just do not worry money only becomes a problem between friends if it is lent and not returned or your firend pays fro everything all the tim eor you pay for everything allthe time - take cake or busiuits round with you

Aero · 27/05/2004 22:45

We aren't by any means well off, but we have enough and we're happy with that. We have friends that have much more than us and friends who have much less. We've been helped out in times of need and try to do the same if we can if others need help (not always financial). What I'm trying to say is that true friends like you for who you are and not for what you have materially. So, yes, of course you can be friends.
Ixle, about the birthday party thing. You can hire a hall usually for a very small charge (as little as £5 round here). Food doesn't have to be expensive and kids enjoy musical bumps etc. We've had v small parties at home b4 the understanding of games stage. Just playing, party tea and a cake is enough when they're v little. Your little one will love whatever you do. Feeling special on their birthdays is what counts.

baldrick · 27/05/2004 22:55

Yes, they can, it is personalities that click not bank balancies....was at a friend's house last night (she invited me....which is unusual) and I noticed that she had a few things, a few God Bless this Home pictures.....she is so unsnooobyyy and a lovely women, we have a lot in common....she could live in a mud hut as far as I'm concerned....anyone who even looks at your possesions is daft...it's people that make your world and not things (hope you form some sort of relationship with her) Good Luckxx

Original poster
Fio2 · 28/05/2004 07:04

Thanks everyone, I will stop churfing about it now! I now it works both ways and that I most probably risked sounding materialistic myself somehow saying money=nicer, which I dont beleive at all. Just wanted to clear that up. I will just be myself from now on and stop worrying over silly things!

OP posts:
robinw · 28/05/2004 08:00

message withdrawn

acnebride · 28/05/2004 08:45

as a well off person with a tiny house i just like nosing round other people's houses - if small i pick up ideas on where to store stuff if it's big i enjoy the sense of space and love rubbernecking at their stuff. sorry but i can't be the only one or there wouldn't be so many property progs on tv. so please invite her to your house as otherwise she may start agonising that you don't really like her!

Voteforpedr0 · 25/05/2016 14:10

I think if two people get on, be there for each other and laugh together, I don't think that money should matter. I have a friend who is has considerably more money than do and I know she doesn't judge me on my house because she is one of the nicest people I've ever met and supports me when times are bad (not finacially) but practically and emotionally. If you got the impression that someone looked at you in another wayear because you have less then the friendships would not be worth having. Invite them round for coffee and cake, good people won't care about material possesions or lack of.

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