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Original poster

Finding out the sex of your unborn baby

50 replies

Posey · 12/04/2004 19:53

Just interested to know if you found out before you gave birth whether you were having a girl or a boy.

If you did find out, why did you?

If you didn't find out, did you try and guess the sex? How did you come to that conclusion? Were you right?

I didn't want to know what I was having.
With my first I thought it was a girl for the simple reason that girls are far more common in my family so I just expected to follow suit. I was right.
With my 2nd, the pregnancy was very different and I had an inkling it might be a boy, but no strong feeling either way. It was a boy.

OP posts:

handlemecarefully · 13/04/2004 08:49

I hate surprises so just had to know the sex. Have found it helps me with 'bonding' with my baby whilst still in the womb

aloha · 13/04/2004 09:02

I'm like HMC, strongly dislike surprises. Also helped me feel closer to ds before he was born. Had strong gut feeling he was a boy before the scan, but then it is 50/50. I much prefer certainty to uncertainty. I think it's a very personal decision.

Azure · 13/04/2004 09:03

I definitely wanted to find out the sex beforehand - luckily I was told with virtual certainty, as DS was flashing his bits around! I felt I was able to picture him as an individual rather than just "baby" and avoid the tedious speculation for the last 20 weeks of pregnancy. A lot of people (often complete strangers) correctly guessed I was carrying a boy because my bump was all up-front.

aloha · 13/04/2004 09:20

Azure - snap on the 'tedious speculation' - I got lots of people saying 'Oooh, because of X Y or Z, I think you are having a girl/boy' and I just used to say, "it's a boy and his name is X' and changed the subject. It used to really annoy me for some reason.

windypops · 13/04/2004 09:36

Here they do not tell you the sex of the baby, although I desperately wanted to know so I could do the nursery the right colour, and there is only so much white and yellow you can buy, I saw lots of cute outfits for boys and girls. DH and I had lots of names we agreed on for girls, but not a boy. Luckily I had a friend who's mum worked at another hospital so I went in her lunch hour and she did a scan at 20 weeks to confirm it was a boy. But 100% glad I knew, only problems was everyone wanted to know except mil, I think we managed to say IT or the baby for about 1 week before DH said, I can just imagine him running about playing football in a few years.

aloha · 13/04/2004 10:21

monkeygirl · 13/04/2004 10:49

I'm pregnant with no 2 and both times honestly did not care about the sex, so we found out anyway. Dh and I disagree so much on names that we needed/need the time to fight about it. Also it's fun knowing the sex and hearing people come out with their various theories on if it's a boy or girl. As Aloha said everyone has a 50/50 chance of being right anyway.

janinlondon · 13/04/2004 10:58

Knew she was a girl from reading the amnio report, and named her the same day. She was born by C section, and all the staff were told her name before she was born - they even had it up the board outside theatre - "11am Birth of baby Jones, 11:30 birth of baby Smith, 12 noon birth of XXXXX XXXXX (her full name)". They talked to her using her name all the way through the procedure. The first words she heard were Hello and her own name. I thought it was lovely!

Benjaminsmummy · 13/04/2004 11:40

Before the scan, I quite wanted to find out but DH persuaded me not to and I'm glad I didn't. My mum was convinced bump was a girl and so were people at work. I wanted a girl as well.

At his birth, there was worry about his heartbeat getting low etc and just before he was born the midwife told me it was likely the baby would have to go to special care, so when he came out fine I was too stunned for a while to wonder whether it was a boy or a girl. I think DH said "he's a little boy" and then I realised that my lovely boy was all I wanted!

suedonim · 13/04/2004 13:24

Scans weren't available when I had my first two babies but I was correct in my feelings that No1 was a boy. With No2, I had no idea at all and it turned out to be another boy. The idea of bonding with a boy/girl in pg doesn't really do anything for me anyway - I'd have been just as ecstatic with a rabbit or a piglet!! The same for names. I had a fave name picked out for dd2 but she was so not an 'Imogen' at birth we had to default to Choice b).

Although I had scans with No3, they didn't tell you the sex but I guessed, correctly, that it was a girl. With No4 I had an amnio so knew 100% that we were expecting another girl. We only told our children and they managed to keep the secret for the entire pg!!

I'm something of a doubting Thomas, though, and would never have planned a nursery on a scan result, in case it was wrong. Even with the amnio, I sometimes wondered if I'd got someone else's result.

Nutcracker · 13/04/2004 13:28

I thought number 1 was a boy but scans said a girl, which it was.
I thought number 2 was a girl, which scans confirmed.
I thought number 3 was a boy and really wanted to know if it was so i could get used to it. I was right.

Nutcracker · 13/04/2004 13:29

The reason i wanted to know was because i have no patience and like to plan ahead (clothes and names e.t.c.)

charlieplus3 · 13/04/2004 13:31

I did baby bond scans with my last two and would do it again. Im like Nutcracker, cannot wait for anything plus i like to be organised. Clothes etc, would say it helps with names too but i couldnt name Ds for about 3 weeks

dinosaur · 13/04/2004 13:33

Didn't find out with DS1, convinced myself he was a girl and would be late - he was a boy and was early...

Did find out the sex with DS2 - but didn't tell anyone.

Not finding out this time, I so don't care if it is a boy or a girl (although girls are less likely to be autistic, so I suppose I might worry less if it is a girl).

Kittypickle · 13/04/2004 13:37

I was really wanted to know with DD but it was hospital policy not to tell you. I thought until 6 weeks before she was born that she was a boy, then had a very strong feeling that she was in fact a girl. With my 2nd, I was convinced that it would be a girl as by that time DH had 8 nieces. Went to same hospital but paid for a private sexing scan - was absolutely staggered to find out he was a boy - about the only time in my life that I have been speechless ! I'm very glad we found out as I think it helped DD bond with her brother, she finds it easier to deal with new things if she has as much info as possible.

Blu · 13/04/2004 13:43

I didn't want to know, but I can't really explain why. It wasn't to do with it being a surprise, because in my heart of hearts I 'knew' that DS was a boy from conception onwards. It was something to do with the separation of 'being pregnant' and 'having a baby'. That the process of birth made a difference. Like Aloha, I HATED the bloody speculation, but even if I had known from the scan, I wouldn't have told anyone, and we didn't tell names, either. I think I wanted our baby to be 'private' before he was born. I also thought (rightly) that the tedious sexist assumptions about boys/girls would be bad enough once he was born and I didn't want them to start a moment sooner than necessary! I wanted him to enter the world as a blank slate, not as a fantasy personality. I really can't explain it properly.

But I do hope I wasn't snotty to anyone like Sophables friends! Didn't see it as any kind of decision with a value judgement, just a personal choice.

M2T · 13/04/2004 13:46

Kittypickle - If you don't mind me asking, how much was the sexing scan? I was thinking about this. I nearly had to pay for a 20wk anomaly scan, but thankfully the hospital gave mean NHS scan. It would've cost £140..... just wondered if it was worth going just for a sexing scan instead.

Thanks in advance,

miranda2 · 13/04/2004 14:19

I wanted to know, (hadn't the faintest idea), but the scanner couldn't tell as ds had his little legs crossed and wouldn't budge!!!
Must say I didn't understand all the 'want a surprise' brigade who seemed to think it morally dodgy to want to know the sex - it wasn't a great surprise on delivery, not because it mattered but precisely because it didn't matter at all - the sex of the baby was WAY down my list of priorities!!! Would hope to find out at scan next time partly as I don't like surprises and partly so ds can get used to teh idea with more detail.

aloha · 13/04/2004 14:20

Isn't it funny how different it is for different people? I liked the fact that birth didn't make much difference - I liked the fact that he looked like his scan picture, hiccupped just the same as in the womb, had his name, and just felt like the same person. Of course, his lovely, physical reality was better than I could have hoped for and he was even more beautiful than I thought, but I liked the fact he was just the person I knew he was before he was born. Everyone knew he was a boy and his name before he was born - secretly I rather enjoyed the fact that this seemed to disconcert people - maybe I just enjoyed being so 'unsentimental' which people don't expect when you are pg I suppose too I think to me it made him more 'private', more 'mine' because nobody could speculate or think they knew more about my baby than me - ie 'Well I think you are having a girl' stuff that so got up my nose. I had named him, I knew what he looked like and what sex he was. As I say, I certainly don't think my view is the 'correct' one, but it is intriguing to me how differently we all feel on this one.

Blu · 13/04/2004 14:28

And now you mention it, Aloha, I knew EXACTLY what DS was going to be like: he didn't stop moving before he was born, and he hasn't stopped since!

aloha · 13/04/2004 14:43

True, and ds had a great big roll of fat on his tummy that showed up on the scan (me: What's that white circle?' Scanner: "er, his fat tummy' and he's certainly still got that He also wasn't a kicker before he was born...

Twinkie · 13/04/2004 14:47

Thought DD was a boy but were told that she was a girl (had CVS so knew definately!!)

This time DP wants to find out - I am a bit weary because I know 2 couples who have been told that they are having girls only for them to have boys!! Think it is just excitement for DP though!!

DP has 2 brothers and one sister and his brother have 2 girls and 2 boys so I am none the wiser as to what I am supposed to have!!

Twinkie · 13/04/2004 14:49

Oooohhhh sorry forgot to say that I named DD before she was born as I knew she was a DD and used to talk to her about stuff that I thought a girl would like (princesses and fairy stories - and boy did it sink in!!) - I felt like I knew her before she came out - I don't know if you feel like this even if you don't know the sex (Bump is at the mo called bump!!) but I felt like I conected with her more as I knew she was a girl.

aloha · 13/04/2004 14:53

I talked to my ds too, just about my day and what we were doing and how much I loved him. I drove to work every day and really liked out 'time alone together'.

collision · 14/04/2004 12:15

We didnt want to know the sex as we decided that it was the only surprise in the world that neither of us knew the answer to (if that makes sense!)

However, a week before he was born I had to have a growth scan and the lady doing the scan said, 'Goodness......look at the size of him!!' Was a bit miffed but didnt tell a soul....not even DH.

He weighed 6lb 2oz at 5 weeks early and they said if he had gone full term he would have been over 11 lbs!!!!!!

Might find out next time though.

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