Will I ever be able to drive without the nerves

[BeauticianNotMagician81]

Hi I passed my test over a year ago. I have only been out in the car when absolutely necessary. Probably about 20 -40 times. Every time I get in the car I am a bag of nerves. I can actually drive well until I make a mistake and then I panic.

I took the kids to school in the car this morning and the baby to nursery. I managed to drop the kids off fine but near their school cars are parked on both sides with not enough room to pass. When I went along the road I clipped a car causing my wing mirror on the passenger side to fold in. I hope I didn't damage the other persons car. Is this just one of those things? Or should I just admit defeat and give up driving. I managed to drop the baby off safely in the worse car park ever(its teeny) .Had the nursery car park been busy again I would have panicked. I also managed to pick my friend up and give her a lift home to save her getting soaked.

I arrived home shaking. I need to drive as I live in a village near nothing.

I used to be a very nervous driver, and have gradually got over it. There is hope. I think the secret is regularly driving a route you feel completely comfortable with, and gradually branching out into more challenging situations. I passed my test in my 20s but lived in London for a while (no car) and even when we moved to a semi rural area didn't have my own car and drive regularly until my eldest started school and I needed to drive her there. For the first year of school I would have to brace myself for every single pick up and drop off and would be ticking them off on a mental checklist (only 3 more drives to the weekend...). It's taken a few years, but I don't worry at all about local driving now, and don't get too anxious on more challenging roads. No big secret - just time and perseverance.

It sounds as if parking is your big worry. Can you park further away and walk a little to avoid the trickiest bit? I still pick spaces that are miles away from the supermarket entrance rather than struggle in a tight space and I think when you're building confidence avoiding the bits most likely to cause you panic is a sensible move.

And I know its much easier to say 'just drive everyday' than it is to do it.

I've been there with the tears, snot, hot sweats, vomit but its the only way to make it better.
When I started to drive the kids about DD1 commented after a few days - "yep, I'll get my shoes on soon, I've still got at least 5 minutes, you'll need to do your poo first before we get in the car"

I'm not sure I like the thought of nervous, panicky drivers on the roads.

Then no one would ever be on the road as they would all give up soon after passing their test. Well, everyone apart from the over confident twats who are, quite frankly, more of a danger.

I would say that most new drivers are nervous and panicky until they gain confidence by driving regularly. Especially if they learnt later in life rather than as an invincible teen.

Thank you for all the positive messages its been lovely to read them. Tomorrow I have a job interview and I will definitely be driving although it involves a scary roundabout

Good luck, on both counts

I am a bit like you. Took 7 driving tests before I passed. I finally got more confident but then had to sell the car as I could no longer afford it. I've recently got one again and I really struggle. I'm OK if I know the route I'm going but am terrified if I don't and have to negotiate changing lanes and junctions etc.

My problem is I don't NEED to drive. I walk/cycle everywhere in the city. I got the car for the weekends as I love hiking and mountain biking and had truly exhausted all the routes I could get to on the train. Therefore, unless I am deliberately going somewhere I can go for weeks without driving. This makes it worse, I think.

Just remember all those confident drivers in pile ups on the motorway. Arrogant drivers are as dangerous as a nervy one. I don't like to drive anywhere unfamiliar, but will do it. I do tend to worry about parking sometimes. I found driving a small car was the answer for me especially for parking and now am happy to parralel park in it. Just keep going and try to get out more in quiet times.