Life "hacks" - ways you secretly stay ahead of the pack?

[tarquinandjocasta]

By this I don't mean those crap Take a Break tips that are going round the internet - use a trouser hanger to hold your recipe book. More like things that you do, that give you a bit of an "edge" no matter how trivial.

I am having a crisis of confidence day - feeling a bit like I'm not good enough.

I'm just wondering if others have secret ways of feeling better about trivial stuff that doesn't really matter in the big scheme of things.

Obviously MN itself is a bit of a secret and a great way of finding stuff out/researching without "letting on" to people in RL….

If I am feeling lazy, I buy plain fairy cakes and ice them myself fancily filling with lemon curd and piling on the buttercream and pass them off - people think I am quite the domestic goddess.
I warm shop bought biscuits in the oven too.

There must be other things that you don't 'fess up to in RL?

I can agree with shinyspoons on social media. I follow Arriva North East on Facebook even though I rarely get public transport due to my commitments, I'm a car devotee! Their facebook page is invaluable for me in winter as I get real time updates as to local conditions and they also say where they are diverting to so I know which routes to follow. Things can change fast in the country as snow gets blown across roads so we can get white outs which need ploughs to clear blocked roads which never get a mention on other regional travel reports.

OP rather than ask for general tips you need to stop and have a look at your life so you can ask for tips and strategies that are useful to you and your needs. Chaotic mornings then lay out clothes, too much paper then a shredder and organiser when you come through the door, food waste and never knowing what to buy then pre printed shopping lists. What bothers you, what are the parts of the day that stress you most, where do you feel chaotic and what overwhelms you? Try and pin these down one at a time and then you can look to dealing with them one at a time. Slow and steady action will develop into solid habits that become second nature.

mine are just boring things like cooking large amounts of lentils in the pressure cooker and then freezing to be later made into lentil & vegetable stews.

As for Ted talks, I liked a few at first but now I find most of them a bit evangelical and disney-esque, not to mention superficial, they dont really seem to convey anything in any depth

Get everything ready the night before on a Sunday night...

then the rest of the week don't bother, the clothes are on the floor where they left them, clean stuff in wardrobe, sandwich takes 5 min next morning when adrenaline kicks in, so spend that 30 min doing something much nicer like reading a really good book or having sex or anything other than domesticity til you drop into bed through exhaustion.

Agree, keep up with current affairs (very annoyed about Times paywall but still not paying).

Really absorb the message that (if in a job where you want to progress) you need to spend 20% in self-promotion and 80% doing the job. Women in particular can end up being far too diligent and picking up the crap where I work anyway. Spend one day every now and again making sure everyone hasn't forgotten you or what a great job you are doing (you may feel this is beneath you but lots of successful men do this all the time). This way you might get more pay for roughly the same job.

Oh, and if you can't sleep, don't lie there for hours fretting about the passing time, get up, have a cup of tea (decaffeinated), eat a small snack and do something- read, MN, do the work that is bothering you, write out your worries then try again. I wasted years worrying about lack of sleep, now I know I can function on just a little bit if I have to and the middle of the night is not as scary as it once was.

We know more than we think, so go with your first thought ... More info doesn't make for better decisions in lots of cases.

Best one so far!
I'm also with Power Pose (and the poster who said everyone knows that), meditate, make something, have a laugh, and use feeds for news.
You must know the news, or at least some of it, or you look stupid. The i newspaper's a feed on paper, costs 30p and can be read in half an hour.
"If you can't do it with looks, do it with personality". Ruffle up your hair, paste a smile on your face and ask lots of questions :) Fuck the spare lipstick, etc.
Do something different every day. Even if it's varying your route to the bus stop. Lively up your curiosity.
Every day: do a good turn, learn something new, go outdoors, speak to a stranger, spend 30 seconds examining something beautiful.
Before you go to sleep: count your blessings and go through all that you've done well today. Self-blame and resentments are for losers.
If you have an ambition: sketch out a plan on one sheet of paper. It will direct your decisions.

Oh, and tell people you bought the cakes for fuck's sake.

" I have had professionals in to deep clean. I don't rate the ones I've had in the past - I am time poor but I do a better job than professional cleaners on almost everything except my shower doors."

HOW do they do it? I've noticed this shower doors in hotels are usually pristine, despite our best efforts ours are a bit cloudy at the bottom. Come on, someone must have worked as a cleaner In a hotel, as well as telling us not to drink out of the coffee cups, what's the secret?

Are people really so busy they can't write a birthday card?

Audio books.

Is all.

Get loads of 'reading' done while pretending to listen to my children doing other stuff.

Girlwhowearsglasses - please don't eat yourself. It's counterproductive in the long term.

Understand the Dunning–Kruger effect. It is "a cognitive bias manifesting in unskilled individuals suffering from illusory superiority, mistakenly rating their ability much higher than is accurate. This bias is attributed to a metacognitive inability of the unskilled to recognize their ineptitude. Conversely, people with true ability tend to underestimate their relative competence based on the erroneous or exaggerated claims made by unskilled people"

Wilbur I am not too busy to write a card but I am too busy to remember I have to write one, and then find a stamp, and then remember to post it....Moonpig is my friend

I think the moon pig account of marvellous! I shall take a look at this.

Well this borrowed from all sections of MN:

Decluttered the house and my mind - this takes a bit of work but the links to minimlist blogs/websites from a thread on here have had a huge impact on how we live and my outlook.

Stop spending money on shite and blindly buying what is in the shops

Ive learnt not to give a fuck about what other think (also from minimlasit threads)

Dishwasher and washing machine in every morning - while kids are eating breakfast.

Meal planning - to incldue home cooked only for most part, batch cook - freeze when I can.

Budget and financial planning - makes thing possible in some instances such as a holiday and makes you look for cheaper alternative/free stuff.

Relax - its ok to wera something more than once. If its clean, its clean and doesnt need to be freshly laundered. Ditto bedding (aired out every morning with all windows open) nothing bad actually happens - ditto for dust.

Stop doing 'playdates' hardly anyone else does them, most people are too busy or just dont want extra kids in their homes - Ive given myself permission to just stop holding myself up to imaginery standards

Things Im working on are:

Getting up earlier
Better grooming routines
Finding relevant volunteer work to compliment what Im studying.

Stealth descale twice with a good scrub then glass cleaner but you really have to keep on top of it if you have hard waters

andsmile good post!

I think one of the best things for me was having twins. From the off I discarded any hope of achieving Sunday Supplement family life. And that was incredibly freeing.

Then when I came out of the baby fog I made a real point of watching how others lived their lives. And the ones I most admired were the ones who weren't interested in perfection in any sphere, instead they achieved a good deal of success in many.

These people often married hard work with pragmatism and flexibility.

Job done.

If you are looking for "cheats" - on mornings you don't have the time/energy to get dressed nicely in the morning before the school run, instead of pulling on scruffy jeans and fleece, stick on your gym kit - people will expect you to have I make up on or hair done if you are off to the gym, you look all efficient and organised (going straight to the gym from school drop off, no going home to change and faff a bit), yet you can just go home afterwards. (Stolen from another current thread)

Also when doing a "guests" clean, spray a bit of polish on your radiator, the whole house will smell like it's been polished, even if you've just done your front room (or not done that, most people won't look closely, just got an impression of cleanliness).

But mainly, be early, being already there or gliding in rather than rushing in to somewhere when meeting people gives you the impression of being super organised.

Get up earlier in the morning. Honestly makes the most difference to me - haven't been sleeping well as hugely pregnant but getting up half an hour to an hour before everyone else gives me time to wake up, drink coffee, plan the day, look at my lists etc. Now with a four day old I'm trying to keep up with it, as it means she gets her breakfast and morning change before the other two wake up. Also, if you get an email that can be dealt with in a minute or two, do it straight away. Then delete/file. Makes for a much less cluttered inbox and less chance of forgetting the easy wins. Also, if you commute on the train, just do your make up there. I know the world hates this, but it is the only time I have to do it and it takes dice minutes to look a lot more put together.

If you have to do something hard or unpleasant, just get on with it and try not to grumble. Nobody likes a martyr, so find a safe friend to have cry on now and then and just get on with it. Will also make you seem very capable, even if you are actually a quivering wreck.

Triagr and setting deadlines.

DD has just started preschool fulltime, and went 2 days a week last academic year, so I am using the time to write (and exercise)

Cultivate some friendships with school mums with children a little older than yours. It will give you a heads up on what is coming up for your DC re school work, activities, etc. It could even get you some secondhand uniform. Meet them by volunteering with some school activities. (EG Offer to serve tea and coffee for an event for the older children as you won't need to worry about looking after/watching out for your DC as they won't be there).

Pay it forward by doing the same with some mums from lower year levels as well.

If you like changing handbags, get one of those handbag pockets where you keep your essentials stored, so you just take that out of one bag and put it into another.

If you find getting rid of things difficult, put them in a bag and turf them into the loft. In 6-12 months look in the bag and you'll wonder why you bothered keeping most of it. Much easier to get rid of to the charity shop then.

Get a subscription to the local newspaper - you usually get it a day or so earlier than it goes for sale in the shops, and you can scan what's going on in the area for the next week.

Pay attention to advertising signs when out and about, particularly the community notice boards in/near supermarkets. Some fabulous events get advertised that way. Take a photo of them on your phone - DON'T trust your memory.

Crisp packet bowls Oz style...except we don't open them with our teeth.

Don't iron.

Do ocardo.

Say no to stuff that you don't want to, also say no to doing things that will make you miserable or stress you out or stop you doing something else that you need to be doing.

Drop toxic friends.

Find a decent butchers.

Learn to be assertive (instead of passive aggressive, angry, weak, aggressive...whatever).

Don't read the Daily Mail.

Don't take stuff that you read on 'AIBI?' to heart.

Don't make important life decisions based on other peoples expectations of you.

Make it your personality that you're quite crap but also quite funny and kind when it's easy to be. People don't expect you to remember their birthday but they still like being your friend.

Mine is don't waste time getting permission for stuff at work. If you have an idea/plan that's not illegal, there has definitely not been anything said about not doing it then just get on with it. If you don't want the answer to be no, just do it and wait until someone stops you. Most of the time you'll be seen as an innovator with great ideas, sometimes you'll be stopped, but on the whole not in a telling off way if your intentions were good!

This one is specially for betty -
when doing lunches cut up more peppers and cucumber than you need, then store them in the fridge in tupperware for the following day. Time saver!

Do ALL shopping online, saves hours and a fortune. Moonpig is also my BF.

Buy a robotic vacuum cleaner. Hide it from friends who will then wonder how you always have immaculate carpets. (Neato under £300)

Buy over-shoe funny little floor-cleaning slippers, wear them last thing at night/first thing in the morning to wash over the kitchen floor as you zip around clearing up before bed. Amazon do them, until I got them I used to tie damp old t-shirts over my feet. Exercise AND cleaning!

Hang everything that could need ironing on a hanger as it leaves the washing machine - chances are that less than half will need ironing when dry, and it's already hung up ready. I have to confess to only ironing the fronts of most other things while (lazy cow admission here) STILL ON THE HANGER.

Buy a telescopic duster. I can dust everything in most rooms just by standing in the centre of the room and turning around slowly, although I do a thorough clean twice a year.

All this gives me extra time to do more important things - like, make sure that I don't have straggly eyebrows or go out wearing only one earring or still have a Kirby grip holding my fringe out of the way at a posh wedding. (DBH said nothing because he thought it was a new weird fashion trend)

Argh - TRIAGE, not triagr

[NB - Triage is why I didn't complete this post earlier!]

to continue my truncated post:
I triage all my tasks, and refuse to waste precious preschool time on anything less important than a family emergency (doctor's appointment or meeting at school) or deadline (if a documentary which I downloaded for research is about to expire, I'll note-take instead of writing on that morning).

NO HOUSEWORK when I'm meant to be writing. Only clearing the table (a "deadline" because I need space to work)

Deadlines really help you to focus on what HAS to be done (though deadlines MUST be realistic).

Lest I sound harsh, I do dedicate some deadlines to my children: this week, I set aside preschool time (already eaten into by another appointment) to tidy up for a playdate.

I multi-task when I'm NOT writing, which compresses that time and frees up the time when I can concentrate.

I'm not "ahead of everyone" (or ANYONE), as you put it, in housework, but at the end of each week, the sacrifices and trade-offs have bought an achievement, rather than a house which STILL needs tidying (AGAIN).