Make a new start if/when?

[jmg1]

Message withdrawn at user request

JMG, yes I thought that was probably the case. I understand the problem you see with making friends with married mums, but it can be done I think without causing problems. Just by general socialising with your kids you'll get to know their friend's parents, and if you can sometimes invite someone in for a coffee or lunch then you can develop that friendship. Include dads too at weekends and things if it helps, I don't think ALL men would assume you were after their wife, my husband certainly wouldn't have a problem.

Do you take your younger ones to playgroups or anything? You can meet people there, and although they will almost certainly be all mums, you can at least talk to someone for an hour or so once a week.

And have you found the Dads equivalent of Mumsnet? (sadly I can't remember the address, someone else here will help, I'm sure). You are very welcome here, as I hope you've gathered, but you might like to talk to other Males now and then too? I'm pretty sure I remember one or two single dads on there, who might be able to tell you how they deal with the isolation that single-parenting can bring.

So sorry to hear what has happened to you jmg. Here's the link to a dad's site run by a bloke who posts on here too sometimes:

\link(www.fathersdirect.com\www.fathersdirect.com)

I don't think the forum on there is as lively as here though!

wrong brackets

www.fathersdirect.com

jmg you do sound like a very caring and incredibly brave person. What you are doing for your children is superb. I am so sorry to hear about what you have been through - I do agree your late Partner's mother sounds pretty toxic, could you just sever contact with her and stay put?

Re the loneliness of being at home all the time, mumsnet is a real lifesaver when it comes to this. I know that one of the other dads on mumsnet, Tom, has set up a website for fathers so you may find this useful too - it's here

snap spacemonkey!

Message withdrawn at user request

You sound like a wonderful father jmg who is coping brilliantly with a really difficult situation.
My Mum died when I was 2, and my Dad looked after me (with lots of help from his parents, for 2 years until he met and married my stepmother. I know you'll still be too raw to think of this now but one day you may meet someone who can be a partner to you and a mother to your kids. When my stepmum and dad married he moved 200 miles and I know he found the chance to make a new start beneficial. I was 4 and it really didn't bother me.
I do think it is important for you to ensure that the kids keep in touch with your partners family. That doesn't mean living in your partners mothers pocket, but maintaining some contact so that the kids have somebody to ask questions to about their mother. And it is important for you to stay open about her as well and keep her memory alive - even though they probably won't remember much about her, believe me, as they get older they will want to know lots about her - even silly things like what her favourite food was.

Easiest way to cook is to make double quantities of everything and freeze one lot for reheating in the future.

Message withdrawn at user request

You have been through so much, you can only do what feels right for you at any particular time. All I can say to you is that you will receive a lot of support here if and when you want it. Hugs to you X

too much or not enough? Don't really understand that jmg - but I can only echo what spacemonkey has said, if you want to talk there will be plenty of people ready to listen.

Talking and communicating is a good thing generally. Of course there is a danger that you can become addicted to self analysis, but think you are a long way from that Jmg1.

You come across as quite a focused, self reliant man who is lonely and needs some grown up company. You don't appear to have any confidants having lost your partner in tragic circumstances.
If it helps to talk and focus your thoughts then please feel free to do so.

jmg1
I echo the sympathy you have had from everyone on this thread for your situation.
You sound like you are doing a great job - one practical suggestion from me - have you contacted Homestart? You should be able to get some hands-on help from a homestart volunteer and the sort of help you get is up to you - eg it might free you up to spend some 1-1 time with one of the children, help you with shopping, or just give you a break.
Please contact them - my sister in law is a single parent with two under three years and she has found them a life-saver.
Best wishes to you and your little ones
jimmychoos

JMG1, dont worry about the initial addiction to this site it is quite normal. You will find loads of us commmenting on it. After a time you will come and go from it. But is a wonderful wonderful tool. It helps so many people in so many ways. It is very supportive, informative and in some cases funny too!!!.

Ah the floodgate.... sounds to me like your maybe looking for permission to open it?????

Permission granted by me, we are all here to support you.

Keep posting or we will all start to worry about you