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Original poster

Does anyone else find this odd?

30 replies

tanzie · 05/02/2004 20:55

It is DD1's party on Sunday. The only mother who said her DS could come (have ranted about manners elsewhere) said she would just drop him and pick him up at the end of the party. Her DS is not even 2 1/2, she doesn't know us. I suggested she stay for a while to settle him in, but she said she wouldn't bother. He's not a confident child - last party DD went to, he sat in the corner on his own and wouldn't join in.

I wouldn't leave my 2 year old child for 2 hours with some one I or the child didn't know - would you?

OP posts:
Coddy · 05/02/2004 20:58

No

she is barking

Ime they stay alone at 4 th parties

nutcracker · 05/02/2004 20:58

Erm, not with someone i didn't know no. My dd is 4 and i recently declined a party invite for her because i knew she wouldn't be happy there on her own and parents weren't allowed to stay.

hercules · 05/02/2004 20:59

No.
You might end up spending the whole time dealing with her dsand she is not your responsibilty. We never left ds at a party until he started school and always checked beforehand with parents if this was okay.
Yo

hercules · 05/02/2004 21:00

Ignore the yo

stupidgirl · 05/02/2004 21:01

Not a chance. My God, perhaps she is desperate for a bit of time to herself for whatever reason???? Do you know anything about her???

That is very strange.

Hulababy · 05/02/2004 21:01

I wouldn't either. Seems very strange. I would worry far too much if I left my child with a stranger. Well, actually no I wouldn't - I simply could NOT do it.

I can understand once they get to school, but not before.

Coddy · 05/02/2004 21:01

hecu;es I LIKE your yo

Original poster
tanzie · 05/02/2004 21:03

She left him at another party, and he seemed pretty upset. I don't know the mother at all - only a fleeting glimpse (bad perm and too much black eye liner ) when she dropped her DS at the other party and vanished.

OP posts:
Slinky · 05/02/2004 21:04

No way!

I still stay with DD2 (she's 4) at the moment. I have to say though, this is more for my benefit than hers - she would be perfectly OK to be left, but for me it's 2 hours away from the other 2 and a chance for a coffee and a natter

Mingle · 05/02/2004 21:13

I haven't left ds at a party yet and he is nearly 4, I don't think he would be happy if I did.

Maybe she needs the time to re-do her perm?

twiglett · 05/02/2004 22:18

message withdrawn

miggy · 05/02/2004 22:19

never left mine till they were in reception, even then have sometimes stayed and "helped" if I thought they (my children) looked a bit iffy.
At DD's 3rd party, a mother left her 3yr old ds and actually said she knew he would be upset but not to worry! He sat on the stairs with a comforter for 10mins then my father managed to cheer him up a bit and palled up with him for rest of the party (he couldnt leave his side). Why would you do that to your child let alone the aggro you cause other people.

CountessDracula · 05/02/2004 23:06

Do people still have perms? Ones under 60 that is?

Yo

bloss · 06/02/2004 02:17

Message withdrawn

Carla · 06/02/2004 07:04

Is he still in nappies? Would you have to deal with a nappy as well as the party? Mine are 4 & 5 and I haven't left either - partly because I want to make sure they're ok & having a good time, partly because I love to watch them enjoying themselves. Very odd.

WideWebWitch · 06/02/2004 07:52

I wouldn't either. Usually IME it's 4yos upwards where they're left. Evry other party ds went to before that I was expected to stay. This child shouldn't be your responsibility.

tigermoth · 06/02/2004 08:03

no I wouldn't leave a 2 year old alone at a party either - agree 4 years is the time youcan think about doing this, but at the two my son has just attended, I have been 'on the premisis' even if not in the party room, so I am contactable.

I wonder if this mother is not very used to parties yet? is this her only child? Could you phone her back and say you're suddenly found you're short of adult helpers (somone has dropped out) so could she stay to look after her 2 year old? At the very least, I think you need to have her mobile phone number.

It does sound as if she's relishing a break away from her child.

FairyMum · 06/02/2004 08:09

I think it's veru odd too. Imagine if everyone just left you to it and you would have x number of 2-year-olds to look after all by yourself. Oh hell on earth.......! I think you could just tell them you expect the parents to stay. Perhaps we need to write that it's for the parents to on the invites now?

Jimjams · 06/02/2004 08:20

Took my 4 year old to a party recently. I assumed I would be the only mother staying (I woudn't leave ds1 anywhere- except with my mother) but in fact the majority of mums stayed. It was nice actually as I got to meet some mums of children in his class (I never see them as he is dropped off/picked up at a different time from everyone else).

I did go to a 4 year olds party last week where someone dropped off her 2 year old and left. It was a bit odd as no-one really knew who the 2 year old was- she was the sibling of a child invited to the party. very very strange. Luckily a few of us had stayed. I suspect the mum must have been going for free babysitting. Poor little mite couldn't even talk.

Cam · 06/02/2004 11:13

It is very odd and I wouldn't have expected (or been happy with - I wouldn't have taken the responsibility) any mothers to leave their children at dd's birthday party when only aged 2.

fio2 · 06/02/2004 11:24

I agree with everyone else its awful, i would never leave my 2 yr old with strangers or my 4yr old (but she is sn)

jimjams that is terrible about the mother dropping the sibling off for the party aswell. Apart from anything else it is irresponsible

Mermaid2 · 06/02/2004 12:14

I took our DD (4) to a party at the weekend and stayed. She would be fine but I like to help with them all and have a chat. Will probably leave her at the next one though. However 2 1/2 is very young to be left and especially as he lacks confidence, poor little love.

aloha · 06/02/2004 12:35

I was recently told by a worker at ds's nursery after he had been tearful and asking for me that this was my fault as I didn't leave him with other people enough!! Maybe this woman has had a similar comment? (I doubt it though).

Jaybee · 06/02/2004 12:43

I agree with everyone else that this is irresponsible. There was a Mum who left her nervous dd with me at my dd's third b'day - it really caused be hassle - running around after various other kids with this kid that I didn't really know crying, whinging and clinging to me. It is really unfair on the host.

tigermoth · 06/02/2004 20:03

This reminds me of an incident that still leaves me gobsmaked years on. My oldest son, age 5 wanted to have a neighbouring 7 year old round to play. It was a bank holiday Monday, I was heavily pregnant and I was looking forward to a relaxing afternoon off from work. I agreed relcutantly to my son's request and before I could do anything, the little boy ran back to tell his parents. He arrived back a minute later with his 2 year old sister on tow. He told us his mum said he could come round and play but only if he took his sister with him! So I spent my afternoon as unpaid childminder to a strange 2 year old.

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