Should I be concerned / say something?

[handlemecarefully]

18 month old dd is currently at Day Nursery...and whilst I'll be giving up work soon, she'll still continue going - thanks to a recent mumsnet thread!(albeit for reduced hours - 10 hours per week)

Anyway - picked her up yesterday from Day Nursery and the staff presented me with an accident report. She had fallen off the slide. She didn't look badly hurt - a graze to the cheek and a slightly red raised bump on her forehead, however its the potential that bothers me. She could have had a right nasty crack to the head. Generally I am happy with this Day Nursery but was uncomfortable about this.....

I realise accidents happen - but falling off a slide? Surely a one and a half year old requires close supervision whilst on a slide? When I take her to the park and pop her on the slide I am stood 6 inches away from her and monitor her closely - because she's only a baby! I can't conceive of her falling off a slide when I am with her, so why did it happen at Day Nursery ? Am I over-reacting?

I'm inclined to raise it with the Day Nursery manager.....not in a snotty way, but to register my concern. Perhaps this is really sexist (shoot me down in flames - I deserve it!) but she was with the male nursery nurse at the time. Sorry but I think blokes generally aren't as switched on when it comes to childcare (ooops - I'm going to get a pasteing now!)

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Hi HMC, I do think you're over reacting (eek, don't be cross with me, you did ask!) It only takes a second for a child to have an accident and it could equally easily have happened while she was with you couldn't it? (maybe it couldn't, I don't know) Accidents do happen, it wasn't serious and I'd leave it I think. Maybe if it was the latest in a long line of serious things I'd bring it up but otherwise, no. I also doubt it's 1:1 care at the nursery is it? So she won't be watched 100% of the time and it's unrealistic to expect she is. Presumably the floor is softish anyway isn't it? Or if outdoors is it that soft stuff? Anyway, glad she's OK.

My DD goes to nursery and has come home after falling of the rung of a slide. She is 21 months now but was about 17 or 18 months at the time. My little girl was with all female nursery nurses so I don't think the fact that he was male in your case was to blame really.

Whilst I understand your concerns I have to say that I didn't raise it with nursery. At nursery the staff:children ration will be 3:1 so they may not have the one to one attention when playing - this is one of the things I accepted when I choose using a nursery.

Have you seen the play equipment. Is the slide a proper one or a baby slide? What is the nursery's policy on outdoor play and supervision? If you are concerned about things like that then yes you should speak to the manager, if only to alievate your worrying.

I'd be a bit surprised at an 18m falling off a baby slide. Did they explain whether she went off the side, fell off the steps or what?

As for your comments about male nursery nurse, ummm, I think men can sometimes be a bit gung-ho about climbing etc. I remember going to meet DH and DD in the park when DD was 16m old, DH was ssat on the bench (metres away) and DD was half way up the steps of the big slide, you know the ones that are about 10ft up? I went and stood by her and then gave DH a pasting. His response was that I was neurotic and she'd been up and down loads of times before without incident!

I think it'd be fine to register your concern and ask how closely supervised the kids are.

oh no i think you are over reacting too. I think accicdents do happen but of course you are upset. My dd is always having accidents at nursery and the school nurse knows us all by name in the family! She even says hello to us in asda These things happen but i know it is upsetting at the time

Goodness HMC! If I had a pound for all the accident reports I've had to sign for ds.... at the moment he has a rather sore nose after falling face-first onto the carpet....bless.

Yes I think you are overeacting and no I don't think it's anything to do with the sex of the nursery nurse. You know that kids fall all the time and no matter what Nursery you go to there will never be one on one care all the time. I think it's a 1-3 ratio for under 2's. Over 2's its 1-5.
Perhaps you should just mention that you don't think dd should be allowed on the slide unsupervised and just leave it at that. It took ages for me to trust the Nursery not to let my ds injure himself, but I eventually had to relax. He has definitely had worse tumbles in my care... (off a slide backwards! )

I don't think you're over-reacting. OK I realise that accidents do happen and that at nursey or where ever the adult:children ratio has to be more than 1:1 BUT you little girl is only 18 months. I wouldn't let my own child climb up a slide without help at 18 months so I'd be horrified if this happened.
I can also understand your male nursery nurse comment, my DH is just not aware of the same dangers/hazzards/etc etc etc as me but thats because I'm with the children all day. I very much doubt your male nursey nurse has had any less training than his female collegues so I think he and my DH are poles apart when it comes to that sort of thing. Your little girl could just as easily been with a female and the same thing happen. I do absolutley understand what you mean though.

Having said all this I'm not sure how I would approach the manager about it, so I'm really not a great help.

I think it depends on the equipment used. When my DS was 18 months, they only had little "baby-slides" in his nursery. Generally all the equipment was for the intended age group. I don't think they can get very badly hurt on these small slides. If it was on a proper big slide, I would be more concerned as the potential is there to hurt themselves more (as you say).
Generally speaking, I think bumps and scratches is just signs of a healthy, active and curious toddler

oh dear sorry to hear about your dd but like so many ohers have already said on this thread... accidents do happen, and to expect nursery workers to have an eye on each child 100% of the time is a little unrealistic... but then again if you are still very concerned raise it (in a lovely nice way of course) with the nursery manager... just to say you were a little worried... but on the whole you sound like that you've been very happy with the care so far so....

and shame on you on for even considering the sex of the nursery worker!!!! (me being very pc!!! ) i'm sure this had absolutely nothing to do with it! it's lovely to hear that they have male workers at your nursery!

and as an afterthought... when dh was presented with an accident form for dd's bump on the head at nursery... in the Parent's Comment section... he ummed and ahhed what to write and finally settled on "Oooops!"

HMC - I would just add that coming up to 18 months was the exact point at which my ds suddenly got faster and steadier on his feet and therefore more confident (misplaced confidence, bless him) and therefore really racked up the amount of bumps and falls he had. He stood up so much more quickly at this age, especially when he was on climbing equipment etc, it did become harder to catch him every time, even from standing 6 inches away. You may find in the coming months that your dd gets herself a collection of bruises and scrapes - it's all part of physical learning. However, if she has another bump at nursery that you're unhappy with, then you should certainly talk nicely to the manager about it to put your mind at rest.

sorry over-reacting

The very first day I picked my son up from nursery (the "evil" nursery- I would report it on a lot of things but not on this) he had managed to fall off his chair.

Mine continually manage to damage themseleves in front of my eyes. DS1 leaped right off his trampoline straight onto the edge of the coffee table this morning, ds2 tripped and landed in a the hugest pile of mud yesterday (just as I was saying " shall we go to Sainsbury's now?- oh right no we won't we'll go home and get changed". Half the time they get brusies because they've tripped over me.

Both my boys are incredibly cack handed. The continually fall off things I would have thought it was impossible to fall off- however luckily at this age they do tend to bounce.

I've been at playgroup when other children have fallen off slides. They're closely monitered but sometimes it happens.

If you're like me your name will feature in the accident book many many times.

My DS is very clumsy (or perhaps just a risk-taker?) too and we have been to casualty several times with serious bumps and bleeding head already....He has never had any serious accidents in nursery or when DH is looking after him. I have lost him head first in the road when giving him a piggy-back, witnessed (but not prevented) 2 quite serious falls down our stairs, head first of a swing and two very serious fall on an escalator involving a lot of blood......

I don't think you are overreacting hmc. While I take some people's point that if you decide to put your child in a nursery where the care ratio is 1:3 then you have to accept some bumps etc that may not have happened if the care ratio was 1:1, I feel the same way about the slide. It is only since ds has been more or less 2 that he has got much better on the slide and before then he required close supervision. I have sometimes been a bit surprised by the kinds of slides that I have seen at drop-in groups (I know this is different because parents/carers are there and supposed to be supervising their own children). I would just politely say something about the slide in particular needing to be more closely supervised than some other things...
My dh as well has a different concept of danger when it comes to ds than I do. Sometimes I think this is good because it allows ds to progress more than my concept does, but then he is ds's father and I know that he loves him dearly blah blah... Sorry, off the track a bit, but I have a bit of a problem with the whole nursery idea because though I think some staff are very good with children and very caring, can you be sure about all of the staff all of the time? (I'm going to be shot down in flames now! ).

I don't actually understand the problem with a bump or a small accident though? It's just part of growing up!

Sorry - have to agree - think you'r over-reacting, especially if it's a baby slide and the equipment all seems safe/ OK.
Have to confess though, I was EXACTLY like this about DS1 (now 4) when he started nursery and expected to be called at work if he had so much as a bump. The eye-opener came for me when I went to a parents + kids jubilee party when he was about 2 - I realised how unrealistic it was to expect the staff to be standing over the kids all the time - they were in a relatively 'safe' environment (i.e. couldn't leave the building/ play area; there wasn't anything dangerous - glass/ broken things) but to some extent were left to 'discover' on their own.

I also have an 18 month old now, and I realised how differently I feel 2nd time around. I watched him fall backwards off a baby slide at soft play a couple of weeks ago and realised that my first thought was "Oh, well, he won't do THAT again..." rather than "OMG - is he alright??" (He was...)
(Oh dear, I'd better skulk off to the Bad Mothers Club now...)

Agree that blokes (often!) aren't as switched on to real dangers as Mums, but don't think you should blame the male nursery nurse on this occasion.

Its not so much the bump or bruise that she sustained that bothers me - just whether they were a bit lacksaidaiscal in 'letting it' happen....and the potential risk....

I know they have accidents all the time, and I've had to sign off other accident forms in Day Nursery when for instance she tripped over a toy and fell and bumped her head - that particular instance did not bother me one iota as I can see how its not really preventable.....

Its more particularly the slide. I appreciate that its a 1:3 supervision scenario generally and I accept that - but I think in particular 'risk' situations (like climbing on slides etc) they should be more vigilant with the younger tots.

Still a lot of you do think I am over-reacting so perhaps I am a bit! ...therefore I will temper my approach to the Day Nursery Manager accordingly (i.e. take a softly softly approach)....thanks all

I don't think that i would complain. It only takes a second for something like that to happen, and they were honest and up front about it so, i think i'd leave it at that.
Although i would perhaps check where the slide is situated i.e not on a concrete surface e.t.c

You are not over-reacting HMC, you are mummy-reacting

Just in defence of male nursery nurses.
I can honestly say that the male NN at my sons' nursery was absolutely fantastic and a really positive role model for the children. He was also incredibly kind and gentle with all the children and always seemed very careful with them (if anything even more so than some of the girls - maybe felt he had something to prove?!)
I think if someone has chosen this as a job then they arent going to be your average bloke (ie. like my DH and dad who both think that children were put on this earth for rough and tumble.)

Handlemecarefully - I agree with the others who have said that its worth keeping an eye on and if anything else happens then raise it with the manager but otherwise write it off as an accident.
Glad your daughter is ok.
Kizziex

I was about to say the same as Mo. With ds1 I watched him like a hawk, and helped him with anything (actually he probably needed it as he's very dyspraxic). I've been much more laid back about ds2 though.

My sn was in a full leg plaster cast (me 39 weeks pg) after a fall at nursery - these things happen!

How did that happen Coddy? - it sounds like a pretty major accident...

Here is my two p's worth....I think that Mummys' (like me) are very quick to blame their childs' accident on people, as long as we were not there, and when we mummys are there, we feel the guilt, but the fact is, they happen and while some men are cr*p at looking after kids..(my fil has no sense of safety or not...) I think men in general are just better at letting children take risks. (hopefully safe ones.) My dh lets my dd do things that I would not (am too scared to), and I like that, as I know I find that very hard in physical situations. (I am too girly) There is research that shows that children who are given "safe" risks in childhood are less likely to "push the boat out " with risktaking in adulthood.
However, saying this, I know that dh is going to have to stop me from complaining EVERY day when dd starts nursery soon!!!

Good point Marz, you see I can do no wrong, whereas the Day Nursery...well!

For instance I mopped the floor yesterday and dd came bounding in and skidded on the wet surface falling and banging her head. Gosh - no way was that my fault! .....whereas if that happened in the Day Nursery I would be scandalised.

I really ought to work on being a bit more reasonable

Safety is a hard call, isn't it? My neighbour is a nursery (school not daycare) teacher. The council has removed all equipment that could be construed as'dangerous' which means no slides or climbing equipment, soft floors both indoors and out, all toys had to be sterilised every day and so on.

Then they were inspected and the one criticism was that children were not able to pratice risk taking. Short of sending them out to play in the road, there wasn't anywhere to risk take!!