Mums and toddlers, starting a new group and want to know what your favourite things are.

[steppemum]

Dear all,
I live overseas, and dh and I are work in development. We are opening a community centre, and I would like to start a mums and toddlers group there. They are unheard of here, but most people live in very crowded housing, with a long cold winter, and so I know many mums would love a place to come and talk, with a safe place for kids to play.
The only thing is, I've never been to a mums and toddlers group, as I came here when ds was 2 months. I have lots of ideas, but I want to know what you like (and dislike) about them, and any thing you would add if you were starting from scratch. It would help if you could say why you like/dislike something too.
I guess I'd like all the support and help that we get on mumsnet to be available here, but that's not possible unless you all want to move house!

Thanks in advance for your help.

I am sounding so bitchy, today...
the problem we've had with parachutes is my kids don't participate correctly, they run in when they are supposed to stay out, they run on top when they are supposed to run underneath -- or they just run off and pay no attention at all. Trying to coax 2 toddlers to simultaneously 'behave' and follow what the rest of the group is doing, nightmare....! It's not so bad if you have a very big room and the parachute is just off to the side, somewhere....

Toys for girls and boys, babies and 3yos. Some groups get a rep for being only for boys or only for girls. Never been to a group with high chairs. I am not sure if you would need high chairs if you had bouncy seats and comfy carpets, instead, and the bouncy seats have the advantage that baby can fall asleep in them.

ps: Singing: I like groups where there are some group songs, probably only for 5 minutes.... Of course, my tots often don't participate in the singing, either, of course.

Highchairs for when they are too big for a bouncy seat but too wee for a chair (eg my 14 month dd).

I go to a fab M&T group which has all the things for kids that have been mentioned on here. Also have a small table with useful books for Mums, parenting books, health books etc. We also have a summer BBQ, and a New Year Dinner for parents (usually end of Jan)

The Mums take turns each week organsing a craft activity, we make our own play dough too.

Lots and lots of toy cars and a garage - ds always seems to get upset because the car he wants to play with is being played with by another child!

I've helped run several toddler groups in the past. One of the things that I've found most helpful is having a songtime session at the end. The kids enjoy it and get a lot out of it, but crucially the tidying up happens BEFORE the songtime. The songs encourage everyone to stay to the end, and that way everyone stays to help with the tidying up.

You don't need loads and loads of toys, it just takes longer to get them out and put them away.

If you have ride-on toys have them out for a limited period, and make sure there is a 'safe space' for babies.

Keep the sessions short - 1.5-2 hrs max, that encourages people to come promptly.

Encourage everyone to get involved and 'own' the group, rather than have it 'run by someone else'. Definitely have a washing-up rota, etc. Get people to take it in turns to run the songtime, or organise a simple craft activity.

I would like to ban hot drinks (safety risk) and biscuits, and just have healthy snacks .. but that's a personal opinion and not widely shared!

box of dressing up clothes?

everything else has been said!

Love the name-sticker idea...want to suggest it to the Mum s & Tots I go to, but how? Ladies from the congregation (a church group but not churchy) run it and they are SOOOO lovely, I wouldn't want to upset them....

Make in affordable to everyone - i.e Bring one child pay full price bring another 25% etc makes it more affordable for bigger familes.

When new mums joins introduce them to other mum it's kinda dounting joinng a new group.

We love the messy area as not all parents have the space to do this at home.

Space is another important fact the more room to run about the better.

Our old playgroup (before we moved) use to alternate the toys weekly that way the kids don't get to board.

If you do have a sing song etc at the end don't expect all children to join in a few SN children i know have trouble dealing with this making it off putting for the parents to come again.

Coffee and juice for the kids is alaways good - our group does fruit one week / biscuits the next.

The best part is just chatting and feeling a normal person rather being just a mum.

Best of luck
xxx

Oh yeah, agree on introductions ....the first few sessions I went to involved me sitting in a corner and not talking to anyone.

I would also say, don't make it too formal. Our M+T group was great, really easy going and informal...and then another mum took over. She obviously had ideas of how she wanted things to be abd everything started changing. Suddenly there were set times to do things, and you were made to feel guilty if your children didn't want to join in...it completely ruined the atmosphere and people started resenting the person who was organising it

Thanks everyone, there are some excellent ideas here, and lots to think about. Yes I do live on the steppes (hence the name) but in Central Asia, a bit south from Russia. The group will be funded by us, so free, and snacks will be healthy, because fruit here is so expensive in the winter, that it is a chance to give them fruit they can't afford at home. Culturally it would be tea for the mums (and I suspect for most of the kids, but we will offer juice) and tea is always drunk around a table, so that might be interesting.

There are some interesting cultural things we will have to work out, so need to talk to local mums, eg, you can't put a baby down on the floor (even with carpets and warm floor) and very, very few of the babies were nappies. Actually, I think that we would be unlikely to get any under 1's as they are very nervous about introducing small babies to others in case they get sick, they seem to relax once the baby reaches 1.

My biggest problem is that i would like it to be for under 4's. but school here sarts at 7, so we don't want to exclude mums who have an older and a younger one still at home.

We have had a big donation of toys, lots of excellent ones, and some big space ones like tunnels. Space will definitely be one of the attractions. Most people here live in small flats with a lot of relatives there too, so having a safe space where their toddler can run riot is very attractive. Everyone I've asked here is very enthusiastic, even though they haven't had anything like it before, so we'll see how it goes. The first step is to find a place, which will take a couple of weeks.

Thanks a million everyone
I especially like the name labels as it always takes me 3 or 4 goes before I understand the local names!!!

love steppemum

that should have been wear nappies obviously

Can I add another question? You have all been so helpful, that's why I love mumsnet!

How do you separate your baby and older kids areas? And also:
What is your upper age limit, and is it too old/too young/just right. one more:
Is your painting/craft area always supervised by an adult?

Thanks again
steppemum

i find you and your situation fascinating SM

this should be a documentary about you setting this up

our area seperated by chairs

The groups I go to might have a carpet area for babies, off to the side, slightly.

No upper age limit, in general. Out of term time we occasionally get 6 or 8yos.

Yes, would definitely want an adult to supervise most crafts, and painting absolutely. You may be able to get away with it if a real 'pitch-in' atmosphere develops among the mums who go, where they look after each other's kids a lot, but could be courting disaster otherwise.

Our place uses chairs to delineate the baby area (we put a rug down) and to 'screen' off the ride-on toys area.

Hi

I've just seen this thread.

The Toddler Group I go to is brilliant - I wish I could name it here, but don't suppose I can :/

They get a Hairdresser in every eight weeks - this is a fab idea as the kids don't get stressed out as there are loads of toys and distractions around. The Hairdresser charges £2.50 per cut and probably does about 10 in the hour and a half, so it's good money for her too.

They do Photo Sessions twice a year with a professional photographer who charges school-pack type prices iykwim. They do it once for individual child photos and once on a Saturday morning for family pictures.

They have lots of guests, eg reps from things like Dorling Kindersley, Usborne, Chocolate company, wooden toy company etc, etc. This is a good idea as it generates extra cash for your playgroup as they are only invited on condition that the playgroup gets commission on sales - either as cash if you're lucky or in goods.

Generally, we have general chat and play session, playdough, jigsaws, cars, drawing, painting, baby area followed by juice and biscuits for kids and coffee for adults followed by story and singing session (in separate room - yes, we are lucky)followed by back to main room where toys have changed to large toys like slide and ride-ons.

I think you live in a posh area, Cas1968! Not a go, just an observation.

ours is abit like that altho things have slid recently they had an Indian head massage woman fro a while

btw Beety mine hate proper juice! so differnt horses

steppemum - not much more useful to add to those excellent suggestions already here but just wondered - why do not many of the babies wear nappies?

lol at zebra - I promise you I don't live in a posh area! Although the playgroup is in an outside, affluent village, so I suppose the village is posh

KatieR -- you should read the other thread about different practices in different countries; Steppemum swears they're all toilet trained by 1yo, and parents just do elimination communication (sensing when your baby needs a pee/etc. before it happens). I'm a skeptic, but Steppemum's experience is proof it can work.

Actually, I'm told they are all trained early etc, but it is more that from about 6 months they sit them on a potty at regular intervals and tell them to go. I have never really worked it out, and despite lots of questions I've always got evasive answers. BUT some friends of mine recently lived in a village for 3 weeks and discovered that actually the babies just pee everywhere, and they just change the pants and trousers every time (what a hassle) The sofa, mattress, mums lap and the carpet also get wet. I just don't understand why cloth nappies have never become popular, it must be easier to change a cloth nappy than have wet baby and sofa.

Pampers are sold everywhere now, but they cost a fortune (more expensive than in the UK and average salary 10x smaller) so they only get used when they go out somewhere (if at all)

They will all think I'm very odd if ds doesn't pooty train until he is 2 plus

Here's another cultural moment for you, my ds goes to the local polyclinic for check-ups, height weight etc, and they are always asking me for a urine sample. They cannot understand why I have a problem getting one. Last week I sat ds in a bowl in the bath, minus nappy and we played for an hour and a half, no pee!!! The ananlysis clinic is only open for 8-9:30, so having missed it, we then spent the next morning sitting in a bowl in the bath, fortunately he peed afted about 20 minutes.

Actually (very cheeky) I have another question, loads of good ideas coming in.
How did it work with having 6 and 8 year olds, didn't they get bored because the toys were too young?
How many mums/kids do you normally get at your group? I know that will depend on the size of the room, but what is your maximum? Do you turn people away if you are "full"