Fears of new baby

[sincy1]

I am due to have my first baby Jan 04 - I am not worried about the pain of labour, but of being handed my baby which has a strawberry birthmark on it's face.

dont be too harsh, I know someone personally who had exactly this fear! We used to laugh that she was such a control freak - its the one thing that docs and scans couldnt possibly pick up on.

Basically, be assured that even if your baby DID have a strawberry mark you will love him/her so much that you won't care.

Before I was worried about the whole dignity thing............losing it completely during the birth, so I suppose I have just moved my worries on to something I will have no control over.

Welcome to Motherhood.

I had irrational fears that got worse each time - the idea that the other two were so healthy that I t must go wrong - no oofence to those with any of my neuroses .
I knew that they wrent really real probs(except perhpas a missing limb) but still- we like to worry dont we.

I thought everyone had these.

The missing limb was because one of ds1 spals has a missing fore arm. Born like it = no idea why - he is a dude and refuses to wear a prosthesis!!

I always worried that my babies would look like DH

...and bizarrely the only prob so far is that ds3 has ptosis(a slighly drooping upper eyelid correctable by sirgery in a few years)

My dd (2 years) was born with a strawberry birthmark on her cheek - when I read your post I went hot, then cold and am now typing with sweaty hands. The worst thing about having a birthmark on her face has been other peoples reactions to it rather than the medical 'ins and outs'. Strawberry marks fade within 5 - 7 years, you can barely see my little ones now, she is the most beautiful little girl who I would not change for all the money in the world. If you want to worry about something then perhaps you should worry about something that you can do something about. Good luck with the birth.

Cp did you aways start explaining that the mark would fade?

i feel that ds3s eye is very noticeable but pph and others reckons its not and that I shouldnt draw attention to it.

I rarely get the chance - most comments were made as people were passing by in the street. I would just stop to wipe the tears away and walk home. She hit it with a toy when she was tiny and unfortunately it ulcerated and looked even worse, one comment (in the doctors surgery no less) was that it looked as if she had been burned with a cigarette. The doctors have always said that it is not what it is, but where it is...

It is natural to fear there will be a problem with your baby, but it's very unlikely there will be a significant problem - try some positive visualisations of everything going really well

cp - really? how unkind. feel v sad for you

I was once asked by an excellent mentor at work to look at the people who never worried or got anxious about things. Since then I've always taken the view that if I am worrying I am clearly caring and focussed. If I'm not worrying, then there's a problem ...

Thanks coddy. Things are find now though, you can barely see it and we hardly ever get comments other than what a sweetie she is. We are lucky really, I keep saying to DH that if this is the major medical upheaval for us then we are lucky as it is not life threatening.

ditto!

sincy1 about the pain in labour
all I can say is that yes to some people it hurts like hell, others it is like shelling peas
BUT
I can guarrantee you that once you hold your baby in your arms that pain will go away and seem like a distant memory.
Hope everything goes well for you
take care
xxx

hi sincy1, i can't remember being worried about birth marks but about fingers and toes and everything being just right! I think you wouldn't be normal if you didn't have anxiety about something/everything and you've focused on birthmarks! As for the dignity bit- HONEST everyone told me "you won't care at the time....bla bla as i'm sure you're thinking now)" I am very self concious and don't even like swimming in public pools in my cossie, i kept my modesty for about half an hour and then you really do forget! I do feel for you being so nervous at this stage and hope everything turns out well and don't worry, you'll fall in love with your baba as son as you see it i bet

To be honest I was more worried about the birth than anything else as I felt that once the baby was here I would deal then with any problems that arose. The dignity thing never occurred to me as I was to caught up in the "moment"! Sincy you will look back and wonder why you worried so much...honest.

Dh used to worry about strawberry birthmarks (because if other people staring etc). then ds1 turned out to be autistic and he now says he can't believe he worried about strawberry birthmarks.

you will always worry about something as a mother though. And you will always love your child.

i was worried that dd2 would be born with a heart problem like her dad (found out how ill he was when i was 20weeks gone). spent 14months worry free, she is now being referred to cardiologist as heart doesnt 'sound' right. i just keep telling myself 'it'll be just a murmur'

Misdee - What a shame, will keep my fingers crossed that everything is okay. Keep us informed.

Yes misdee that must be worrying for you. And the waiting never helps does it?

dsw thanks for asking about DS. He had the best possible outcome (reaction to anaesthetic, healing , scarring etc). He does have a small scar on his cheek near his eye/nose but people don't notice it unless I tell them about it.

DS had a pyodermic granuloma - a collection of blood vessels when the body reacts wrongly to a scratch or cut - which started at about 9 months (strawberry marks usually appear in the first few days). I think he was misdiagnosed because he had knocked it, bled copiously and ended up with huge scabs. And I suppose they didn't bother to listen to me when I told them when it appeared.