The big move out of London....

[Welshmum]

Has anyone moved out of London to live by the seaside - somewhere alot quieter? DH and I are contemplating just giving it all up and living in NZ or Wales (he's a Kiwi and I'm Welsh). It would mean giving up both our well paid jobs and leaving all our friends etc But a large part of me is so fed of living in the city and I really want my DD to go to a good little school like we both did. I just don't know if I can do it though -I've been in London for 20 years. Would love to hear any advice/experiences.

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If we moved, we'd have to live within a 40 minutes drive of a city or large town, simply because I'd probably be working in one. I would feel very cut off if I had to drive for 30 minutes to buy a bottle of milk. I couldn't handle that.

I do worry that even if dh and I both got jobs in Devon, what would happen if one of us was made redundant later on? In London it would be far easier to pick up something else.

My idea of hell would have been to move to the Devon countryside with babies or toddlers. I am not a toddler person and however much I love my sons I do not relish the constant demands or a 1 - 3 year old.

Having to entertain a stir crazy 2 year old at home during a week of torrential Devon rain, in the middle of the country, with the only going out options being a wet playground, muddy field or windswept beach, too cold to stay out on for more than 20 minutes, all the tourist attactions and most indoor playcentres being shut because it is February, so you are left with perhaps one indoor pool and one ball pit that you have been to a million times - not my idea of rural bliss. In London, faced with a week of rain in frebuary, I could take my sons to any number of indoor attractions and musuems, many free - and nice grown up things like Covent Garden, to see the shops and the street entertainers.

However now my sons are getting older - in 2 years time my youngest will be 6 - I won't have that same problem. They will have school and after school actiovites and friends at weekends, jsut as you describe, beetroot. So that's one reason why I feel happier about moving away.

I get the impression that different areas of the county can contain very different types of people and prevailent attitudes. I have encountered some narrow minded people in Devon, but feel if I lived in alternative Totnes for instance, people would be far more accepting and open.

I would find some aspects of village life hard to cope with, I think. If I lived in a place with one primary school, and so you always saw the same children and parents at swimming club, cubs, etc and presumably all parents knew of each other etc. I would find this a bit claustrophobic, especially if the parents were cliquey. Still, if we don't move till my oldest son is at secondary school, that won't be such an issue.

But if you lived in Totnes you'd need a London salary to pay the mortgage! And you'd have to talk about how you encourage creativty in your children at every opportunity

Isn't narrow mindedness and bigotry everywhere- I think I saw the same or even more in my corner of SE London than down here. I'm suprised how much more multicultural this corner of the UK has become in the 10 years I was away.

and yes, shopping. We definitley wouldn't be rich if we moved to Devon , so in order to afford the odd trip to london to catch up on shopping and friends, we'd have to be careful with day to day money.

Where I live now, I can go to lots of bargain shops - most of our toothpaste, shampoo, skin care, cleaning and washing products, stationary, little toys, cost £1.00 or less, courtesy of our local pound shop. I walk to work, so have no petrol costs there. I can if I choose shop at lidel, costco, etc. I can go to any number of markets to buy cheap clothes.

Looking at the area we would live in, in Devon, there are far fewer bargains to be had. Or is there a secret Devon bargain place that I do not know about

I know I just couldn't hack it in Totnes re encouraging creativity in my children etc. The locals would soon see right though me!

I know what you mean jimjams, I have encoutered narrow mindedness and worse in SE london and anywhere else I have lived, of course. too. I guess I would worry that in a very small place, if most people were not on my wavelength, it would be more difficult to walk away from and ingore.

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how ridiculous robinw whats wrong with these people? What on earth has you age got to with making friends? Why cant older mothers and younger mothers mix? Isnt it silly! I am 25 and my good friend is 43 and our kids are the same age and it has never bothered us that we have a big age gap. If you lived by me robin I would be your friend sorry I am being corny again!

Welshmum, we moved out of London last january after 18 years, to North Kent, in a village between Faversham and Whitstable. We are 10 minutes from the sea or 20 if you walk! The local schools are excellent, we have a good size garden and live on a tidal creek. The chickens came at Easter, the dog's coming next year and the veg patch is burgeoning! I cannot say forcefully enough how great it has been for our family, my husband works at home at least 4 days a week - although that may have to change, so the kids see him for lunch everyday, we spend 80% of our time outside and have friends visiting every weekend. Many of our friends are comitted urbanirtes and are never likely to do the same thing, but can see how good it has been for us and admire our 'bravery' for striking out. For my part i love being a haven where they can escape to, and it's also good to go back up there to see them too and hang out in London.

Ah, but Emmagee, you're within commuting distance of London. Maybe lots of people wouldn't but I have a friend who commuted from Faversham to London for 5 years. Beetroot, IKWYM about HAIR! I've had my hair done in Devon twice in the last 3 years and both times they seriously f**d it up and I ended up going to London to get it sorted out. So I've come to the conclusion that I might as well save myself the bother and go to London in the first place. It's not even a posh London hairdresser but I do trust them and they've never messed it up. Interesting reading the views here.

We moved out of london but hated it and moved back to the same borough - when we moved we went back to the town where dh and i grew up - not a good idea but would say it may work for some ppl and good luck to anyone who wants to try -

Some good friends of ours (she is one of dds godmothers) moved out last year and have just announced that they are moving back. If you don't like the country this year with the endless sunshine etc when will you?

I do remember hating the country when it rained.

There is another side of this which no-one has mentioned.. the poor locals of the place swamped with ex-Londoners. Emmagee, Whitstable is a prime example. Very poor town, used to be able to get a decent house for not much money until the Londoners discovered it. I can see now why the Welsh et al get so upset about it. Prices have rocketed since the Daily Mail did their feature, pricing all the locals out.

Ashford is the same. There have been improvements in the last few years facility wise (the old cinema was knocked down when DD was 5 & we didn't get a new one till she was 13) but the people coming from London have got money & think they should run the show. (yes it's a generalisation, but unfortunately all the people we've met have been like it).

My kids were at a village primary that was swamped by a new enormous housing estate. As these people (& their money) gradually outnumbered the locals they started trying to change things to be like where they'd come from. At parents meetings we heard things like "non-uniform day could be £5 each", yes THEY could afford it on their London wages but the locals on £10K a year couldn't.

We are surrounded by fields, but those that aren't disappearing under "executive housing" belong to someone, so the kids have less play space than a child with the London parks nearby. We don't have proper parks. I grew up in a city, with more space than we have here in the country.

tallulah may have to admit something since your last post. We are moving to Herne Bay just down the coast from Whitstable and still quite cheap in comparison. My dh works just on the outskirts of London in Kent. I really like it there but spoke to lots of people there who do actually work in London although it is apparently a 2 hour commute! ( god couldnt cope with that every day) The schools there are great and SEN support is brilliant compared to where we are living now. I cant beleive we can move to a bigger house there than we have now and apparently the 'midlands' is cheap!

Tigermoth- you need Trago Mills- Trago Mills got a great deal happening so get on down to Trago Mills!

i save so much money down here. And I have the opposite with hairdressers- had a nightmare in London - have a fantastic one here (she did train in a top London salon though). And she only charges a fiver to cutand blow dry my hair and cut the two boys (and to do ds1 you need danger money)

Hi all, I'm not much of a contributer usually but had to add my thoughts and look at this from a different point of view. I grew up in the countryside and by that I mean a farm one mile from a small village 12 miles from Bath, I went to the local schools and did all the idyllic things which people who live in London wish for their children now. But as a teenager everything was miles away, there were no bus's and I had to rely on my parents or wait until I was 17 and by a very cheap car to get anywhere. I eventually (aged 32) moved to a small town in the country and now live in the suburbs.
I have to say that of the three places this is the best, there are so many facillities and access to everything 24 hours per day.
The country side is not what is used to be and much less perfect than 'townies' (sorry!) think. It is better to visit and spend money there as a tourist than to spend London money on houses and push the locals out who can't afford the increasing property prices.

Sorry to put a negative vibe on this but I'm interested in everyones views......

Agggh, I wrote a really long message and AOL crashed. The gist of it was, I take your point tallulah.

I do agree with what you say Redwood. I live din a small village until 11 when I moved into a city- probably a good time to move.

TBH I couldn't ever be really happyin London because I missed the moors. Now when we're having a really crappy day (like today) we can be there in 20 mins. (Not so good though as ds1 tripped and split his lip open). Mind you I love rain and am a real one for dragging the boys out in it. Also tigermoth from our point of view we can't use a lot of those indoor activities that you mention as ds1 can't tolerate them, or they just pass him by. For us moving out of London was the best thing we ever did, as it suits our circumstances. If ds1 hadn't been autistic I think its only 50:50 that we would have moved....... (but I would still be missing the moors).

jimjams my brother is always going on about trago mills and how you can buy wellies there for 3p. Is it good?

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Lived in London for 10 years and couldn't wait to get back to the coast where I had spent most of my life - was never bored there; in fact more bored when I lived in a London suburb for a while as a kid. Now work in a coastal town and live in the countryside. Love it. Very near a big city (Brighton) should we need it, but never have. Prefer shopping in towns, knowing my neighbours and breathing fresh air.

I grew up in the country, but now live in a city. I have to say I prefer the city. Although living in the country was nice when I was a kid because we could go out on our bikes, I'm not sure I'd be so happy to let my kids have the freedoms I had anyway these days. There wasn't much going on when I was a teenager either - we always had to travel which was a nuisance. And after living in the city for several years, I realised that I hadn't had hayfever badly since I moved.

Jimjams - that's really unkind! I lived in Exeter for a while, and now I've got that wretched tune going round my head AGAIN!