Charidee Donations Pressure

[Thunderbird]

I know I sound like a miserable cow, but I HATE it when people ask for money for THEIR favourite charity, even if they are going on a trek, bike ride, marathon, whatever. I am closely involved with several charities and have a child with a relevant medical condition and I have NEVER asked any of my relatives or friends to donate although they are welcome to ask me if they can (they don't). Then I get letters from same asking for support for their efforts on behalf of this that and the other (with no personal connection). I'd rather pledge an amount to charity and give it to my own charity and they can count it in the amount they raised. I don't mind £20 here and there but, because of closeness of individuals involved, its £100 or so each time. This time I've just ignored it and pretended I know nothing and I suppose sil must be too embarrassed to ask...... Am I a sod or not?

I belong to the GAYE (Give as you Earn) Scheme. I nominate how much of my salary I want to give to charity each month and this is taken directly from my monthly wage. The best thing about this is that the money is taken tax free so the charities actually get more than what you nominate. Also my particular employer runs a matched giving scheme so for every £1 I give, they also give £1. With the GAYE scheme I have an account where all the money goes into. Then from time to time I will ask them to donate X amount to Charity A, Y amount to Charity B etc etc. You can choose to withold your name and address. Because I give a regular amount each month, I don't feel compelled to give ad hoc on the street or on the doorstep. However I will support sponsered runs if asked by family or friends etc etc. If I hear about a certain charity that I wish to donate to, I then do it through GAYE - anonomosly. This way the charity gets more money (as it won't be taxed), and also gets the money I donate via my employer who matches my donations.

The sad thing is however, my last employer and this employer although were part of the GAYE scheme, never made their employees aware of it. I had to ask about it.

Thunderbird why dont you start asking them to give to a charity of YOUR choice in future.

I understand how you feel about your childs condition and charitable causes but the point is like Thomcat says bite the bullet.

Get the in-laws involved in your causes.
What you dont ask for you dont get

Hi JJ - you send the mobiles to BIBIC
British Institute for Brain Injured children, Knowle Hall, Bridgwater, Somerset TA7 8PJ In the UK you can ring 01278 684060 and they send a postage paid envelope so it doesn't cost anything. Doubt they would work from CH though They then recycle the metals etc in the phones and get money in return.

They're great- really working wonders with ds1- he coped with a haircut today! (Big big big step)

I hate those doorstep sellers. Luckily I'm a good liar so I either say I have no cash, or I say I'm a the nanny/cleaner whatever.

I also hate people ringing and asking me to deliver and collect envelopes in my street (not sure this is a common tactic- always seems to be for a blind charity- really annoys me - I hate cold calls.

Yes, I think I'll stop feeling sorry for myself and ask for donations to MY charities from my relatives. Thanks for making me think this isn't an unreasonable thing to do.

Not at all unreasonable Thunderbird. On dd's first birthday we had a barbeque for her and we asked everyone who came for a contribution to the charity I was working for. We even said to give a donation instead of presents as she had everything she needed, and at that age she wouldn't know differently anyway. Some were very generous, but others gave nothing, which made me quite sad.

WSM - do you not have a spyhole fitted to your door? Whenever I hear a knock on the door I look first, if they have a clipboard, or a charity badge, or are smartly dressed and in twos (JH's) then I don't answer. Like you say, I wouldn't hassle anybody in that way so I don't see why I should be hassled too. Plus when I'm in on my own with dd I don't want to be opening the door to just anyone.

Those in the street are a pain. It is illegal for them to approach you directly for money, not that they take any notice of that! I don't give to homeless people anymore, I buy the Big Issue instead. Or I'll buy them a pie from the shop. The Big Issue is a worthwhile cause as they are trying to help themselves rebuild their lives, and are not just sitting in a doorway expecting our money. You know the money will probably go on drink or drugs anyway, so a hot pie is much better and they always appreciate that.

I also take one of my charity leaflets with me when I go out, so if someone does hassle me I'll produce the leaflet and say "I'll give to yours if you give to mine", they never do!

Jimjams - am I correct in assuming that the phones do not have to be fully working - given that they are going to be recycled?

They can be any old mobile Bozza- working ones are sent to developing countries and broken ones are stripped down to recover reusable parts and materials.

Hi Rhubarb

My front door does have a spyhole in it but it also has glass in it so chances are if I can see them then they can see me ! Also the shape of my house means that I can't look out of the upstairs windows to vet them first as there is an overhanging porch thing over the front door. GRRRRRRRR. Will just get one of those signs and be done with it.

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Oh I dunno, I don't mind being pestered for people's favourite charity. I think it's nice that people in this selfish society still give of their time freely to raise money for charity. No you can't give to them all, but if someone is prepared to go to the effort of arranging a sponsored event or organise a raffle, then I'll support it.

By the way, the Big Issue founder has agreed to support Netmums (not a rival to Mumsnet I assure you!) and is going to include a bit about Netmums in this week's mag. For us it's free publicity and as they are a charity themselves, we think it's incredibly generous of them to offer to support ours too. So don't pass your Big Issue vendor this week!

Never pass them rhubarb, I just give them the money and not take the mag.

How have you got on with Terri?

Oh you've just reminded me to email Rob Mather with an update! I've managed to get a Leisure Centre in Preston to cordone off 3 swimming lanes for us to use, and the Preston Swimming Club have promised me some swimmers. So all looks set to go on the 6th of Dec - I just hope I don't go into labour before then as I would like to be there!
By the way, if anyone wants to make donations to the Terri Calvesbert Appeal (the little girl who suffered 90% burns in a house fire) then just email me at [email protected]. We hope to raise a good amount from Mumsnet so we can give the site some free publicity too! Hope I'm not hassling too much!