If you are "discovered" what would you do?

[Wills]

I absolutely adore using Mumsnet and it has become a major part of my life. Given all the support and advice I get from mumsnet I naturally want to pass this on to my friends, but at the same time I don't really want to loose the anonimty that allows me to discuss things that I might not want to discuss with friends.

If you thought that someone you didn't want to know your inner secrets had "discovered" you what would you do? Would you change your name? (problem with that is that I feel that people know me through this name). Would you ignore their attempts to contact you?

don?t worry chinchilla it isn?t you didn?t mean to make you all paranoid - but won?t say anymore about her as I would hate her to find out as a direct result of this thread. She is a lovely girl and a great mum who doesn?t need the humiliation. Just tricky when I know 100% who she is and also that without a doubt she has been exaggerating occasionally and has told a few mega porkies recently!! It is awkward but not as awkward as it might be if she knew I knew IYKWIM.
Oh well, who said life was ever going to be straightforward

But are you sure that she is making these things up? The situation with my mum that I posted about recently is a prime example. On the surface of things, my mum and I get on really well. People looking at us would not think that there was a problem, and we very rarely mention it (maybe twice in the last ten years). Perhaps your friend has problems that you don't know about, and would never guess, especially when you consider that you only see her every few months?

I understand what you are saying Chinchilla but I am very sure that it is untrue -factual details are definitely far off the mark and as DH sees her DH couple of times a week and are very close, we would know by now - too big an issue to not know - they share so much and ermm, I just know I am right on this one if you know what I mean!

Well then, that's quite worrying. There is a poster on here who is making things up. I bear my soul on here because I trust the other posters, and it leaves a nasty taste in my mouth to think that someone else is posting lies just for attention.

I agree chinchilla. I think lots of people would edit a few personal details, but it's worrying to think someone lies a lot to get responses. A couple of times recently when I have talked to mums I know vaguely a strange thing has happened. I mention a topic like the school run or weaning and start to tell my news and views and the mum will say she knows already. I am dead sure I have not told her previously but do know I posted the news on mumsnet. Lots of people in real life know I post on mumsnet and they have computers so can access the site. I don't post truly personal things, but I don't like the idea of someone I know reading my posts for ages without telling me.

If you suspect someone might be reading mumsnet and have guessed you are any ideas on how can you find this out from them in a nice way?

I have no idea! I mention Mumsnet to them, and give them the address. They then get a glazed expression on their face, or a patronising one that implies that I am a geek, or very sad! A couple of my friends have looked, but didn't seem as if they were overly impressed when I asked them if they had looked here! Maybe they are addicted, but don't want me to know

I would suggest that you come straight out and ask them. If you are worried, you could always change your posting name!

My Sister and SIL post on here, they know my post name.
TBH I tell all my friends about mumsnet and give them my posting name.Everything I post on here I would discuss with all of them as they are my "problem sorters" anyway.But I do like to keep some anominity.

Stripeymouse IMO that is quite disgusting that someone has to lie about problems to gain sympathy on here.

Just seen the developments of this thread and wanted to point out that none of us really know each other here, so any of us could be false. That's the eternal problem with the internet, you can be whoever you want to be and no-one is the wiser. I tend to trust Mumsnet posters and dole out advice and sympathy as if each posting is real, but I wouldn't be surprised if I found out someone was making it up, nor would it put me off. I am sure there will be genuine posters who will benefit from the advice given to the fakers.

You could always organise a meet-up Stripymouse to see if this mumsnetter turns up! But other than that I wouldn't bother about it, she obviously needs the attention so don't deny it her. Avoidance is probably best!

Actually I am not surprised this happens - I worked with a compulse liar some 10 years ago and I don't think he realised he was... some people - for some reason - need to create a personality, need the sympathy or the praises or the admiration.

Some of the threads I read I sometimes feel that this person is fishing for support/praise and I choose not to get involved - but that's just me. And if it is a genuine call for help there are many mumsnetters to help

I am very new to this site, and to be honest, I have spent a couple of nights worrying about some of the stuff people post, esp re advice over legal issues....the people they are in conflict or having difficulties with have access to their every thought and strategy. I hope that some of these threads DO have good disguises. Even if, say, an ex p would not be looking at such a site, it only takes a mum somewhere amongs his friends or family to recognise the situation and alert him (or her).....Don't wish to freak anyone out, but I think people need to balance the need for advice and support with the need to ensure that they are NOT discovered.

I'm fairly new to Mumsnet too and I haven't told a soul about it!

Mainly because I used to be a regular on another (far inferior - wish I'd found this one first) parenting website, was completely indiscreet about how I posted there and was keeping an online pregnancy diary (it was all under my real name). Before I knew it everyone was reading my flipping diary - all my friends and even my parents - and it really cramped my style on what I could and couldn't post.

It's not that I've posted any great secrets on here (if I did want to post something very sensitive I would use a different name, just in case) but I do like the anonymity of mumsnet. It's much better than the website I mentioned where, until recently, even your email address was attached to all your postings - a recipe for disaster.

Do you know for sure that what she is saying is not true??

DHs and DPs are never the best at sharing information IMO.

Maybe you should just come clean and ask her straight out?