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Original poster

Have just contacted the NSPCC

28 replies

Paula71 · 25/07/2003 23:49

I was going to write here before I did it but I have just emailed the NSPCC about a neighbours child. I am feeling a bit shell-shocked as now it is done I hope I am not "exposed" as the mother concerned will retaliate.
Briefly, a little girl who lives across the road from me with her drug dealing parents runs about all day unsupervised, in the road, and she is only about three. There is a bad history with this family, namely this little girl fed her baby sister drugs a few months ago, both were taken into care and months later, returned to the parents (who have another 5 children not living with them.) Recently she has taken to stripping off her knickers and making gestures no child that age should know about. The other local kids are completely bewildered and since the first incidence of that happening no one has been out to play.
She is often seen standing on her window ledge buck naked.
I know other neighbours have called Crimestoppers about the drugs but I am more concerned with her. The other parents here avoid her and I don't want her coming anywhere near my toddlers. It is a damn shame too as none of this is her fault but I couldn't take her mother coming over and picking a fight like she has with other neighbours.
I am now feeling like a right old sticky beak neighbour, social services were involved after the drug incident but the parents immediately behave differently when a visit is in the offing.
Have I done the right thing?
I just hope to God I have not put my own children in danger over this but I just couldn't bare to see such neglect anymore.

OP posts:
butterflymum · 26/07/2003 00:11

It is brave of you to take a stance under these circumstances.

You have the best interests of the little girl at heart - you have taken a step many wouldn't. You have not been a 'sticky beak' - hopefully someone will take the right and appropriate action (whatever that may be) to help rectify the problems that are obviously at large within your neighbhours household.

Hopefully the little girl will be given the help she needs, to have the childhood she deserves.

butterfly

PamT · 26/07/2003 07:13

You did the right thing. I once called the police when I witnessed a neighbour's child sexually abusing a toddler. In my opinion no child of her age should have even known about the things she was saying and doing. In hindsight, there would have been better avenues for me to go down (eg. Health Visitor, Social Services etc) but at the time I was so shocked and distressed by the situation that I did the first thing that I thought of.

The child you have reported deserves a chance and hopefully something will be done before she is damaged beyond repair.

codswallop · 26/07/2003 08:17

Has anything happened?

breeze · 26/07/2003 08:19

Paula71, yes you certainly did the right thing, I am sure you will be kept annonomous (sp), you did a brave thing, no child should have to go through this sort of behaviour. Well done.

Rebi · 26/07/2003 08:31

I think you should be very proud of yourself for not closing your eyes, Paula71. It could be your contact that finally gets something done for that poor little girl.

Sometimes children slip through the system because there hasn't been someone humane enough to voice a concern.

Well done!

doormat · 26/07/2003 08:59

Good on you Paula. IMO you have done the right thing.I have done it and it is not a nice thing to do but I just hope you get results from social services.

We used to live in a small cul de sac.A family moved in with three girls (7,6 and 4.)These girls would sit in their window naked and shout out to the neighbours if anyone wanted a sh**.The girls would take the local children down the entry and play with them sexually.When I and another neighbour found this out, we went to the parents and told them this was not normal behaviour and to sort it out. They were so lacks-a-daisy in their attitude.I am not joking here when I say that when my friend and I went into there house to discuss the matter, there was piles of human poo on the floor.(They had no pets)Because the parents couldnt be bothered I told them there and then i was reporting the matter to the relevant authorities.
Guess what happened after we reported them to social services.They were moved within the week to a brand new home. They kept the children because social services said they had PROBLEMS. It turned out the mother and father were brother and sister.This is one of the reasons i do not trust social services.
I truly hope if anything untoward is going on SS act on it and sort it out.
Gut instincts are usually right.

zebra · 26/07/2003 09:09

You did the right thing, Paula71.

Janstar · 26/07/2003 10:07

Of course you did the right thing. Do let us know how it turns out please.

bossykate · 26/07/2003 10:14

paula, very brave of you, you did the right thing. hope that little girl gets some decent help.

Marina · 26/07/2003 10:23

Well done you for stepping in to protect the interests of a small child. Let us know what happens, Paula.

M2T · 26/07/2003 13:24

Paula - well done! You have most definitely done the right thing.

Let us know what happens.

Clarinet60 · 26/07/2003 13:31

Ditto. Bravo!

crossma · 26/07/2003 13:42

Paula71 you were indeed brave and did the right thing hopefully this child will have a chance at actually living a life and not just being alive.

aloha · 26/07/2003 14:04

Good for you Paula71. You should feel incredibly proud of yourself. And if nothing happens this time, please don't give up, a child's life could depend on you.

motherinferior · 26/07/2003 15:36

I'm really impressed with you, and I hope I'd have the courage to do the same.

leese · 26/07/2003 19:17

Absolutely, totally the right thing to do. Poor little kid - what chance does she have unless she leaves that environment? Kids need people like you around Paula71 to be their voice. You'd never have forgiven yourself if anything bad happened to this child, and you may have been able to do something to prevent it - well done.
Remember the Victoria Climbie case? Friends and neighbours suspected there was something going on with that little girl, but noone did anything about it, either thru fear of reprisal, or just assuming it wasn't their business to do so....

Demented · 26/07/2003 19:21

Good on you Paula71.

runragged · 26/07/2003 19:51

Well done, I got quite choked up reading all the messages. Children rely on the adults for their quality of life and they have a right to have a nice one, you did the right thing.

sb34 · 26/07/2003 21:11

Message withdrawn

kittie · 26/07/2003 21:47

Well done Paula71.don't worry about the parents finding out all your information should be kept confidential as this is a serious matter.

Lara2 · 27/07/2003 19:26

Paula71 you have most definately done the right thing!! Well done!!!
I'm SO sceptical of social services - I'd report to the NSPCC every time. Mainly because as a teacher ( and have friends who have been closely involved with SS when adopting their children), I have seen too many children let down and left in situations where they shouldn't be. It often seems to me, and my colleagues, that SS do more for the parents than for the children in too many cases. As a friend once said to me, there comes a time when people should loose the right to be a parent anymore, and the needs of the children should be the most important thing. Unfortunately, all too often, it just isn't the case.

Bron · 27/07/2003 21:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Frogling · 27/07/2003 22:05

Paula - you have definitely done the right thing, and there is no way your name will be released to the family in question. You have a right to be anonymous.
With regards to NSPCC, I'm sure that what they do in these cases is to pass on all of the relevant details to Social Services for them to look into the case.
I hope that the little girl gets the support and help she needs - good for you for getting the ball rolling.

Metrobaby · 27/07/2003 22:22

Good on you Paula - there should be more people like you around. You've done something positive - much better than being an apathetic bystander.

happycat · 28/07/2003 11:19

well done you.You have done the right thing.I was in a situation a few year ago when i suspected a neigbour of leaving her baby home alone while she went shopping/school runs and things.I still see her from time to time because I have moved she now has another toddler and a baby on the way again they are dirty crawling alive with nits e.t.c and I wished reading your post that I had been brave enough to do it .Didn't think about the n.n.s.p.c I didn't trust the social services as such.She walks along with a bottle of gin under her pushchair as well and has been caught supping it in the school playground.I did put her in touch with a family center run by social services which I think she still attends so at least I done that.Anyway what I am trying to say is that after reading your story if anything like that ever happens again then I will call them too.