Tea Room the Ninth: I love rock and roll, put another dime in the juke box baby

[MadBadandDangerousToKnow]

Welome to the ninth incarnation of the tea room. It's been a long and eventful road, from a tea room overlooking a cathedral garden to a beachside cafe, with a diversion via a yurt. Now - voila - we are in a music lounge. We cater for all tastes and, as this is a tea room of requirement, it manages simultaneously to be many things at once. For some, it is a 70s glam rock disco with a cool boho edge - glitter balls, smoke machine and much wearing of platform shoes and eyeliner. For others, a jazz bar where mellow music is played as cocktails are served. For still others, it's a concert performance of Spem In Allium. We still have a garden, with shady parasols for the summer, and a menagerie of pets. Our membership is international.

The tea room has few rules. Everyone is welcome. But anyone visiting with the sole intention of causing hurt or shouting abuse will be ejected by Mellors, the multi-talented gardener-handyman who (it turns out) is also a guitar wizard and rock god.

Please come in.

never too late - I reminded myself that I had some G&B chocolate ice cream in the freezer (had being the operative word here )

I always thought I liked the idea of Glastonbury but have never been because I don't think I would cope with the actuality of it.[feeble emoticon]

Tbh I don't really cope with it these days - it's just too bloody big and I'm too bloody old It's a hard bloody slog and I'm not one of those people who can just drink and not wash for five days and not worry about it. Think we'll have a couple of years' break and try some of the smaller ones for a while.

Bed time for me!

Crikey, Glastonbury sounds like a bit of a mission

Our paddling pool has a slow leak so Boy sits in it and then shrieks "mummy" every 10 minutes. Cue much huffing on my part....

CMOT I would be doing festival with tent because camper is ahem rather unwell. Boy won't sleep in sling any more...

Fortunatly DS loves being slung, and will choose his favoured one. Hence I am looking for an even bigger sling than my current ones

We like playing in the garden with the hose - it gets the plants watered and DS clean at the same time. And me cooler

Sounds fun Dita. Maybe I will brave a small festival after all

Madbad - in my 'international woman of mystery' role, I have a wardrobe for all temperatures from -40F to +110F. Hot weather means dresses - my norkily advantaged colleague is loving this paired with black patent wedges, and I've just got this but in blue print, which I put a little light shrug over when working. I think shift dresses are too hot, and if linen crease too much

Thanks, Cmot. I knew you would have fashion advice for every situation! I think I may be too norkily advantaged (and too financially disadvantaged) for the Thomas Pink dress

but I do like the look of the floral one, especially as it could have a life outside the office. I even have the pink shrug, ready to go!

Soup and a lewd roll, anyone?

My colleague is a 36H currently - so it does work well. No gaping buttons.

The floral one looks ace on - just a nice length and very fine cotton. I paired it with patent open toed heels from M&S, and mine worked with short sleeved black shrug and long sleeved white floaty.

I'll just have the roll, it's too hot for soup. The only time I regret being home based is times like now when I could be in a nice air conditioned office. Although I wouldn't be feeling all domestic goddess like as have starched DHs dress shirts, ironed them and put them in the sun on hangers to bleach out nicely. This is ahead of his awards ceremony next week.

In the CMOT household news today - DS was dry all night, sans nappy. DH is thinking about applying for a job that might mean we would relocate again . I am wondering whether to contact my SIL to be and assure her that I will make sure my parents are suitably dressed for her wedding - seems like her parents are considerably posher, and my dearly beloved, but eccentric, parents dressed in what they consider to be their best outfits (as they would have put on to meet her parents last week) can be an interesting sight.

Feel like a knickerbocker glory ?

I am so tempted by that dress. I have a Monsoon one in a similar style which seems to deal very well with all my nork/shoulder/upper arm issues.

Excellent news about the domestic goddessery and CmotTiddler's dryness at night. Where would you relocate to (if that isn't too leading and potentially revelatory a question)?

I don't know what to advise about contacting your SIL. Would your parents look amiably and respectably eccentric (in manner of Iris Murdoch and John Bayley) or embarrasingly out of place? And would they be aware of it? If your parents might notice they looked out of kilter with everyone else, maybe an accompanied shopping trip, as you mooted before, is the best option!

I would lurve a knickbocker glory. Here are some fresh raspberries grown by Mellors in our tiny courtyard garden.

ooh, a knickerbocker glory sounds great - perhaps with some iced tea to wash it all down (as lashings of ginger beer are a bit too EB )

Job based in Croydon - so somewhere commutable to there. Which would put us back where we were again(ish).

Depending on your POV, either slightly embarrasing, but lovable, or tatty and out of place. These days, my mum will do pretty much anything and not notice the mortification of those around her, Dad totally immune to noticing what others wear. His idea of dressing up is to wear a jumper without holes from the jumble sale and a real belt, not binder twine.

I will prob just measure Dad and present him with a new suit/tie/shirt as he will wear whatever he is told to, but mum is much more difficult. Oh well, I have over a year to ponder this problem.

Thanks for the iced tea - just what I needed.

Dh came home, saw the shirts and said that actually, he was going to buy a new one But was grateful

lots of nice places around Croydon - just not Croydon itself!

Your parents sound lovely CMOTD - but yes, probably a good idea to kit them out

Whaddya mean, just not Croydon itself?!

Evening! Sorry, am trying to limit mn time at work!

this is rather nice for those of larger norkage but OK waists (counts self out, although have lost 16 lbs in 4wks, so not feeling too bad with myself)

Well done in shedding so many pounds, Mistle!Oh that dress is very nice. Although I have (lack of) waist issues too, I find that sort of style very forgiving, as it gives the illusion of a waist even if there isn't one!

Would you like a soupcon of wine?

oh MadBad, sympathies!

Croydon is on my hitlist of places I NEVER need to go to again, along with Slough, Bracknell and Central Birmingham.

I LOATHE the one-way system in Croydon, it maes me cry. I had to go there a few times to sing in the Fairfield Halls - nightmare!

MT - well done! I have no waist either, never have had. More norkage now, while still bf'ing, but still not mahoosive. So that safari suit jobby of CMOTD's would not suit me at all. But the dress probably would!

Whaddya mean, sympathies? Croydon made me who I am.

And I've just learnt that Sue Perkins - on whom I have a massive girlie crush - comes from Croydon too. So nuh.

I love Sue Perkins - and her mate Mel Gidroyc (I think that's how it's spelt)

(and you of course! There, Croydon produces some good things, just so long as I never have to go there again )

Congratulations MT - that is some going. Are you doing anything in particular, or just cutting back generally ?

A few jobs ago DH was working in Croydon - twas pretty convenient as he walked to our station, got train, walked to office.

Previous to this relocation, he worked in Sutton: that makes Croydon seem postively classy.

I agree on driving in Birmingham. Before I got my sat nav I always got lost there

I still have problems with quantity of norkage and don't really feel comfortable in 'that' style of dress really. However, that could be partly as I don't conform with what the clthing manufacturers consider to be a 'normal' size - being bigger on the bottom half so its difficult for the top half to fit at the same time as the bottom half - but also potentially because, even whey at my lowest weight I've been for a lont time, I took a 30GG (eeek)(not many places cater for that size..

Ladies and gentlemen, I present for your education and edification a small selection from the list of famous Croydonians:

Dame Peggy Ashcroft
Cicely Mary Barker
Allan Ahlberg
Havelock Ellis
Ronnie Corbett
Desmond Dekker
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
Roy Hudd
D. H. Lawrence
Martin Clunes
Captain Sensible
Malcolm Muggeridge
Sir David Lean
Kirsty MacColl
Kate Moss
John Ruskin
Sue Perkins

Are you impressed yet?

• did I hit a raw nerve, MadBad? It's only the place I don't like, honest!

V impressive list though!

(How many of them stayed in Croydon though? )

Wot you mean? You fink you can just diss my manor, eh? I'll set Ronnie Corbett on ya.

Hang on, I'll put me knee-protectors on...

Ok, OK, I give in! Croydon is lovely. THere you are. So long as I never have to go there again to prove it!

It'll be the venue for the second official Tea Room Meet-Up, you know. First one is in Disneyland, Anaheim. I defy you to tell them apart. [gasp]

A toast to Croydon, anyone? Oi! Where's everyone gorn?