Tea room the Eighth - sun, sea, sangria, and perhaps a sandy Mellors

[DontCallMeBaby]

Greetings, welcome to the eighth incarnation of the tearoom.

The tearoom has been, and will be again, a virtual safe haven for anyone up for rather random chat and a comprehensive range of virtual snacks. Nothing in the tearoom will make you fat, or drunk (unless you want it to) or cause an allergic reaction.

The new tearoom location is a beautiful beachside cafe (no need for factor 50, the virtual sun will just lightly tan you, bring out your freckles or simply warm your skin, as you prefer) with a range of garden swings, hammocks, sunloungers, deckchairs etc (as well as a rather incongruous, but well-loved, chaise longue). For those in need of sanctuary, we have managed to fashion a new priesthole out of woven grasses.

Our fellow residents include Mellors the rugged gardener of few-but-well-chosen words, the naked mohawk babies, a coterie of bishops, various domestic pets, and a selection of others. On the human side, all are welcome - while we live in the One Child topic some regulars have more than one, and we are welcome all (except people who put their heads on one side and tell those of us with one child that it's just not fair to have only one child).

Please help yourself to a glass of Champagne and a canape on the way in ...

Stop press Nobody tell Mellors...

Maybe it is Mellors. But whyever would he want to leave here?

You don't think he's fed up of being a sex object do you?

Excellent suggestions, people. Don't know if I am quite brave enough for MadBad's wording, but am sitting here working out something along those lines. She does it when she gets scared (inspection), or when someone has got at her (parent, inspector). Trouble is, I am at the bottom of the pecking order, being only part time and without a classroom assitant, it is all down to me.

Would really really like not to be a teacher atm. Trouble is, I could not earn enough to work part time at anything else. Most of my friends can afford not to work, but sadly I can't. They seem to live from one exciting day out to another, while mine are interspersed with days like today. Now have to go home and do all housework, make supper etc, then start planning lessons for inspection. Should have married a banker and been a SAHM!

Hmmm.

Not sure how I feel about being described as smarmy (thank you, Mistle) or (by implication) bolshy and reckless (thank, you, Racing) . My suggestions weren't intended to be a definitive wording, just a broad indication of the sort of direction that could (with a bit more finesse) be taken.

I do try very hard to ensure that Mellors is not treated as a sex object, not least because we have an equal opportunities and anti-harassment policy in the tea room (as well as a no fisticuffs policy). I wouldn't want Mellors to sue for sexual discrimination - we've got virtually nothing in the honesty box as it is! But he is undoubtedly very handsome and - much as we appreciate him for his horticultural, woodworking, aromatherapy massage and dance instruction skills - I guess I we do tend to get rather distracted once he rolls his shirt sleeves up and gets on the ride-on lawnmover. Not that he'll be able to use that much, in our new location.

Am deliberately not thinking about the bankers that might have been. Some have mellowed and become rather lovely with age and some have turned into Mr Dull of Dulltown.

RS
Many sympathies with your current predictament at school.I think the suggestions here are very useful and I have been noting them down for future reference.

It looks like Ds is going to have a wee sister. Dh is very pleased. All organs and limbs are present and correct.

(like champagne, but made in Catalunya)

I know it's early but do have a glass.

Excellent news, Catita!

Just wanted to pop in to mention that, since there was a request for Mellors to stop moonlighting in The HCP Lounge a few days ago, the lounge has acquired its own butler. We think he dresses quite nicely. His name is David. However, he has also been known to assist HCPs in bathing (themselves, not patients, that is).
He is also pleased to assist anyone whose pulse and heart rate have suddenly tripled...

DH, DS and I are off to Seattle for the weekend. I will have internet access so will hopefully be able to pop in occasionally.
Have some wine for me tonight!

Another congratulations, Catita! We are pro girl, too. The dresses, the hair clips, the little leather sandals with flowers on ... Wriggle has the lot, when I had sworn that no pink would every cross our threshold. She has other ideas and often looks like a blancmange (but luckily not like a Barbie).

Rs. This precisely what I am worried about. i was/am not a pink kind of girl. I hate/d dolls and playing house. I refused to wear dresses when I could (although was obliged to by my mum who made all our clothes and didn't do trousers much), and still have an aversion to make up and the like.

I expect new DD will be a very girly girl just to be contrary to her mum....

Interesting re: rival butler, but I still prefer Mellors (in case he's at all worried)

evening all . sorry you've had a duff day RS, sounds like your superior is employing the 'attack is the best form of defense' policy and directing her nervous energy as anger in your direction to deflect her own inadequacies. sorry not very helpful but the other suggestions seemed spot on. Congratulations Catita , i was never a girly girl either but DD has a great blend of total girliness and frills one minute and then indulges her passion for sharks and bugs the next, all are individuals. DD has quite a few boys t-shirts as well as she likes the pics on them, .

Mwahaha, RS, DD is often told she looks like a blancmange, or at least she WOULD look like a blancmange if she wore the amount of 'light pink' she would like to wear. She has no idea what I'm talking about as no blancmange ever crosses our threshold.

As to the school issue - blind copy is your friend. It's HORRIBLY passive-aggressive, but when the going gets tough, this not-so-tough girl blind copies her management into the odd email ... fortunately the issue hasn't been the management to date, or I suppose some random well-placed friend, or the union would do.

flip-flop sip flip-flop sip flip-flop sip

I like this new tearoom....

What a perfect place to wear my new flip flops and drink champagne!!!!

RS - I am sorry about your bad boss day!

Catita - I am happy about your little girl! Congratulations xxxx

So there is hope for me yet Curlywurlygirly?
(Your name is so fab I just had to write it out in full)

I can cope with pink if we can also have lego and trains as well.

The big issue that concerned my vis a vis the thought of having a girl is a cultural one that will probably surpise you.

In Mexico it is traditional (and nay expected) that a girl has her ears pierced within days of being born. Apparently (so the old wifies say)it doesn't hurt then. There is not a girl baby without earrings in all the republic.

I, otoh, am British with my British prejudices. My mum didn't let us pierce our ears until we were nigh on 15. And I think perhaps I wouldn't have done it all, for am a a bit of a radical feminist, but since my mum was against it, I of course had to do it.

My not wearing earrings and makeup causes no end of comment here. When I do, I am inundated in comments on "how much better it makes me look". Aagh. But I am a mature adult and I ignore them. Plus, it's a good way of getting women interested in studying. They are drawn to how different I look and wonder what it is (as I am obviously not a lesbian, which would be their first thought).

So, what to do? DH is likely not to interfere, seeing as he knows how i feel on all this. But, I also can't help feeling that if I don't pierce her ears I am going to be guilty of deliberately imposing my views on her and will make problems for her with all other people. IE there wll be comments from mums, grans, friends about it whereever she goes.

Hmm, not a great dilemma in the grnd scheme of things but still, something for me to think about for the next 5 and half months.

cat- could you invent a "cultural" reason why British girls wait till they are older for peirced ears- some kind of rite of passage maybe... girls to women. and you would not dream of offending your mother...

Mind you, round here it seems to be boys that have ear rings at pre school!!! probadly lots of girls do to, but having a DS I notice teh boys. NOT my cup of tea at all. I like my ears with just the number of holes they came with. ditto nose and tongue and lip.

AND any other bits you horrible mob can think of.

Mellors IS trying to ride teh lawn mower up a dune, it not going well... prehaps he needs a jetski.

Probably good for Mellors to have a bit of healthy competition! Obviously trying to impress now.

Catita - it is the same in Spain. When we were there last Easter, in spite of the fact that she was wearing pink and quite often a dress (although never yet a pink dress!!!) everyone thought she was a boy because her ears aren't pierced. I actually would have nothing against it - I should think it hurts less than a BCG, for example, but we don't do it here. The fact that she has short hair made it worse, too, and the fact that in Spain the colours aren't so stereotyped, so that wearing pink isn't a big 'clue' to gender. I didn't mind that they thought she was a boy; it was just explaining the same thing over and again. Uni's idea of a rite of passage and not offending your mother/grandmother is a good one, I think, if you are really that bothered. On the other hand, will she have to spend her whole time explaining why she doesn't look like all the others and do you want her to do that? I don't know; just asking. As you say, you are a mature woman and are choosing to be different.

I also almost never wear make up, not because I don't want to, but because I am rubbish at putting it on. I yearn to be smooth, beautiful and polished (but pretend not to). I would like Wriggle to be proud of herself as she is, but, family history and general culture being as they are, it is unlikely.

Now have to start planning show-stopping wow factor lessons for inspector, since I have looked at my assessment and it is very deficient and far to late to do anything about it. I hate assessment, particularly for empathy and spiritual development. I think a numbered scale for the ability to empathise is pretty surreal. So, all lights and bangers for an exciting lesson which will know Inspector Woman off her feet. (Hopefully taking down HT with her.)

Good idea UniS re earings!

If anyone is interested I had pretty much decided on a healthy Cavalier King Charles from a good breeder. It seemed to be the perfect dog for us.

Last night I presented DH with the results of my many many days and nights of hard long research.

"If one of those dogs comes to live here I am moving out!" He stated

"Why?" I enquired.

"Its legs are in proportion to its body. I only want a dog with short legs."

So we need a dog that....

Most importantly has short legs

but also...

• We can take for a run and/or walk at weekends and in the evening
• Likes living in apartments
• Is very good with children
• Has no killer instinct
• Isn't too big (our apartment is a postage stamp)

This task is becoming close to impossible!!!!

teafortwo, a daschund would be perfect for you. i think long-haired ones have a much better temprement (sorry spelling). as you may know they have been shown as most aggresive dog but i've only ever found that with the short-haired ones. they love walkies and no worries living in small space. i have a mini long-haired who loves dd and has only ever been soft with her.

And dachshunds aren't really rats on a string - they are really hunting dogs (badger dogs, hence the name as JM will tell you) and don't actually know that they are tiny.

So nobody goes for my idea of just getting BabyCatita's ears pierced?

yes that's right, they are proper dogs, and come in standard and mini sizes to tailor to your size needs!
ear piercing, no help really, but i think i daily have to consider whether to give in to dd and allow her to have latest stuff friends have which in an ideal world she wouldn't look at twice. i too have feminist leanings and do not wear make-up, dd said recently she wanted to wear her red school jumper because her best friend (boy) liked her in it so i gave her a talk about not dressing to please others etc etc then realised afterwards, perhaps i was a bit harsh as she's only 3!
tough with whole culture issues tho'.

Have uploaded a couple of pictures from yesterday, inspired by our new beach location. Amber would probably have approved the health-and-safety tip.

Hello everyone.

So many dilemmas to address. So little time.

Dogs - Have nothing to suggest and, as some lovely person has just permitted their darling pooch to leave a pile of poo outside our front gate, I am not feeling kindly disposed towards our canine friends tonight (although I do know that it's the owner who's the problem here).

Earrings - I hate to see little girls with pierced ears. I remember how much it hurt and consider that inflicting that on a young child who can't give informed consent is an assault. But that does, I know, ignore a lot of cultural issues - my African friend tells me that in her country all baby girls have their ears pierced in case people think they are boys (much like in Mexico, then). Knowing how far to assimilate to local culture is tricky, I imagine. I'd be inclined to go the teenage rite of passage route, but I think that following local culture is defensible too. So I'm no help either.

Make up - I love it. Don't always bother but I love it. Hides some of the ravages of time and I simply like the transformation which it brings. It makes me invincible.

Earrings - Essential to my mental health.

Butlers - Strictly speaking Mellors is a gardener and handyman, rather than a butler, although he does sometimes show willing and hand round the drinks. And, chastened by MaryBS's suggestion that Mellors may be tired of being treated as a lust object, I am trying to focus on his intellectual and spiritual qualities rather than his chiselled jaw. But, the fact remains that he is very handsome. So, Jacksmama, all I can say is 'Ours is better looking than yours,' who looks as if he couldn't mow a lawn if his life depended on it.

Now, where's the bolly?

hmmmm - about dogs....

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pets/756589-Dog-lovers-help-please-a-good-dog-for-apartment-living

... do join in if you are of a doggyfied mentality....

Hey - I just looked at rs's profile. Milk pointed at the pic of Milk sharpening pencil wih helmet on and said "This is very nice!"

ha ha ha!!!!!