The One and Only TEA Room: Everyone Welcome (bring champagne and muffins please!)

[Jacksmama]

Wow, we're on our third thread!!!
Previous (second) incarnation of the tea room.

A warm welcome to everyone, whether you have one child, none, or ten. This is a tea-and-muffin or booze-and-sofasorcanapees sanctuary for all. But certain standards of behaviour continue to apply - anyone engaging in fisticuffs will be ejected by George Clooney, ably assisted by Mellors the Gardener.

Cheers all!

Yes - it was a huge advantage playing the flute ! My friend played the saxophone and had to walk to school, pulling it along on wheels

cmot, a friend of mine plays the harp. Now that IS a challenge to move around .

If you've got a lovely merc man that turns up and gets the car, that's a big bonus, I'd say. My Land Rover dealers do that too and they're great (perils of life with a horse - ordinary cars get stuck in the mud).

Better start doing a bit more washing up...

oh Amber, you actually have real life horses? Not just Early? [swoon]

There is so much rural earthiness in the tea room I am sure it is doing DaisyBoy good, poor city dweller that he is

Now, Amber, put Mellors down thanks for doing the washing up!

I am still ill ... woe. DD was coughing up a lung half the night, but managed to do it in her sleep, so is perfectly perky and has gone to school. She's going to her friend's for tea as well, so I'm free until gone 5. I was supposed to be seeing the teacher responsible for numeracy in my capacity as governor responsible for numeracy, but I've cancelled due to extreme germiness and inability to actually understand anything or speak coherently.

So I'll have honey and lemon in this mug please, and whatever muffins are left over after Mistle's had her pick (stinky cold rather fading into insignificance after all).

I don't know who should play me in the moving - right now, someone who's been poked in both eyes with a stick and can't stop sneezing. A friend once said I look like a young Celia Imrie but I can't really see it, and she IS 20 years older than me. I was also once told I looked like Cynthia Nixon (Miranda from SATC) but she definitely doesn't have the norks for it, and I no longer have short red hair, which I think is all the resemblance actually was. Maybe Kate Winslet, if she agreed to hang out in the teashop eating LOTS of muffins in preparation.

Rather unoriginally, I always picture Mellors as Sean Bean.

yes, daughter of friend of my mothers played the harp at school. And FOM has the slipped disc to show for it !

Daisy - I'll send my Dad over for a bit of genuine earthiness if you like. He is def earthy. And hayey. And strawy.

Actually, look out the window now, and you can see him poking things with his crook (too proud to use a walking stick, so has a shepherds crook) and muttering about the work Mellors has been doing. Yes, thats him, with his trousers held up with binder twine, an elderly fleece advertising the company I work for, and a disreputable jumper, much chewed by the goats.

Oh, CMOT, I remember your Dad, he has a role as himself in the movie, if memory serves?

DCMB you should be Kate, as long as you promise not to do that whole Titanic thing with your arms flung out and Mellors thrusting standing behind you in a supportive manner....

Phew! I can't keep up.

Latest list of cast and crew:

Bocca - Judi Dench
Cmot - Elle McPherson
Racingsnake - Emma Thompson
Tea - Debbie Harry
Mistlethrush - Andie McDowell
Womblingfree - Reece Witherspoon
Daisy - Rene Russo
Jacksmama - Kim Raver
DCMB - Celia Imrie and Kate Winslet (job-share)
Cmotdad - Himself
Mellors - Himself
Unspecified love interest - Hugh Jackman

Best boy/girl and grip - UniS

Daisy - are you a bona fide academic? This is not the first time you have referred to your blue stockings (which are tres chic, by the way).

DCMB - A fellow school governor? I'm over-committed with all this volunteering lark and really think I should stop, but would feel like such a shirker.

Cmot - I'm trying to get my head round the idea that a Mercedes which has Sport in its name could be Mumsy. BabyBocca has just been converted to Top Gear by her cousins and I think she is a little infatuated with Jeremy Clarkson. We are now at risk of turning into a family of petrolheads.

Amber - I'm glad we didn't repel you with our unsolicited hugging and arm-patting. But it is true - the magic of the tea room means that you would experience them as friendly waves. Just as you experienced that phenomenon that left you with smudged lipstick and hair awry as Mellors helping to clean the kitchen.

Right, who's for soup?

Goodness, yes, that did seem an unusual way to clean the kitchen, now you mention it !

Yes please for the soup - that'd be lovely!

Yes, I complain about dh's db whenever I have to do anything with it (which I must admit is very rarely). Viola and violin (and singing) much more transportable. MJ won't be likely to be able to play cello or db like dh due to double jointed thumbs - not a problem with violin viola though.

CMot - mileage - that's strange - we're getting 55mpg in our 1.9d over a week's holiday in Devon - which I think is good for such a capacious car. I was certainly glad of this when petrol prices at their highest as I was at least coming out not too badly out-of-pocket in terms of business mileage whilst a lot of my colleagues with smaller cars were finding that the mileage rate didn't cover the petrol. Dh says we will go for the next engine size up next time as it has a bit better acceleration (not that ours is too bad anyway) and the efficiency is no worse for some reason.

Amber - my friend's mare was 1/2 arab, 1/2 welsh. She had a welsh dragon effect that she would do even at 30+, and had a wonderful crest (even though she was a mare!). One of her foals was an arab cross (a bit more dainty, still same attitude though - she's still going strong), the second, a lot later, x tb - he turned out to be quite a handful. He looked like a horse when you saw him at a distance, but when you got nearer you saw he was too small to be a horse, but the same 'horse' rather than 'pony' dimensions. I rode him a bit even though he was really too small - it was a bit like what I imagine riding a really expensive large bmw motorcyle is like - he could just surge and be sooo smooth if you got him working at it (although most of the time he really couldn't be bothered!). He got sold as he really needed more work than my friend could give him - went on to do quite a bit of eventing and competing. He was the only horse I've riden that could do a cat jump up about 1' with absolutely no preparation beforehand (when you think, as you come down, having lost a stirrup etc, if he decides to bolt now, I'm off, but then as he continues to plod along, wtf was that all about!!!)

Bocca no, I'm not an academic, more I would like to be a sort of tweed wearing, sensible shoe, glasses and bun sort of librarian of wisdom....but that is a fat chance..

I too baulked at a Merc being mumsy?!?!

Thanks for the soup - no more lewd rolls? We're up for baking biscuits, me and DaisyBoy later so I'll drop some round - last time we got 14 out of dough for 30 - so they may be a trifle, ahem, chunky

In awe of all the horsey stuff...

Bocca - it's a bit of a small MPV, thats what I mean by mumsy. It does have stiff suspension etc, so doesn't drive like one

MT - you are obviously a much better driver than FIL

Funny things horses - one of dads friends had a horse that would suddenly take you into the corner of the field and buck you for no apparent reason. They sold it for this reason, and then one day dad was out delivering some lucerne hay and saw this horse - and the new owners didn't know anything about this habit as he had only arrived the day before. Dad decided that silence on the subject was necessary

Ooh, secret school governor sigh! Yes, I thought I'd give it a go at some point, then about a week after DD started school a letter came out saying they had THREE vacancies for parent governors (there are six in total) and I thought I probably wouldn't get a better chance than that. So I applied, and lo, three people applied for three vacancies. My contribution so far consists mostly of sitting in meetings looking baffled, but I have also managed to point out that the criterion for children qualifying for financial help with school trips was about ten years out of date ...

I picked up my other volunteer thing just before that - reading for a talking newsletter. I'm now about to start leading one of the teams, which entails trawling through the local newspaper for a week before, picking out suitable stories for 45-50 minutes' worth of reading. It's only every eight weeks, so should be manageable.

Interesting gender split with these things - the parent governers are mostly dads (four out of six) while the I've not met a PTA person who wasn't a mum yet; and the newsletter is very female dominated as well, which is genuinely a shame as a mix of voices comes across much better. We are trying to figure out if we will get into trouble if we advertise specifically for me, although DH says we should just advertise for baritones instead!

Interesting about the gender split in school governing, DCMB. On the GB of which I'm a member (not BabyBocca's school) we only have two men. All the parent governors, and all the rest of us, are women. Then again, we did have two men at the last PTA meeting.

My knowledge of equal opportunities law is a bit out of date, but I think that under the umbrella of positive action you are permitted to solicit applications from under-represented groups, so you could say something like "applications welcome from anyone with a good speaking voice .... men are under-represented in the current pool of volunteers .... applications from men therefore especially welcome".

And had meant to say that I too know someone who plays the harp. So, based on this non-scientific survey, I conclude that either there are far more harpists about than I had ever realised or, alternatively, we all turn out to know the same people in a six degrees of separation kind of way.

I know two people that play the harp! (at least)

Ds's violin is very easy to transport at the moment. I think that the whole thing including the case is shorter than my violin when its out of its case [ahh]

Mistlethrush - Remind me at what age Mistlejunior started to learn the violin? I hope to push encourage BabyBocca in that direction.

DaisyBoy likes to blow the recorder and requires MrDaisy to play the guitar standing up with one leg on a chair and the guitar hitched under his chin like a Mexican singer in a restaurant while DaisyBoy runs round in circles shouting Fa La La La La!

Does that count?

daisy - babyBocca is currently doing a project on Frida Kahlo. Would DaisyBoy and MrDaisy be available as cabaret a musical learning resource?

Do remember that BabyBocca is much older than DaisyBoy and so has had far longer in which to hone her talents (which may only be detectable to her doting mama in any event). And volunteering is very enjoyable (OK, then, enjoyable up to a point) but it does take over one's life and eat into one's tea room time.

Ah, dear Bocc!

my boys would love to volunteer! I love Frida Kahlo. Her paintings are wonderful. Sad to think she was in such pain for so long. my favourite is the deer with arrows and Frida's head - Margaret Atwood used it as the cover for Wilderness Tips

what would the boys have to do for BabyBocca? I see that Mellors is already posing nude.... is that Amber behind the curtains?!

All this talk of musical talent has reminded me to upload a video of DD dancing to Flickr - she has quite some moves for a 4yo. No sign of any musical talent as yet, which is a shame as my music-teacher friend has just resigned from her job and is looking for tutoring and suchlike.

My take on volunteering, at least as far as the school is concerned, is that I was going to get lumbered with SOMETHING eventually, so I might as well volunteer early for something that would suit my talents (ha) and situation. It's also a method of helping the school which doesn't involve much interaction with other people's brats darling children.

And then AFTER I volunteered I discovered that work will give me six days off (pro-rated, so actually just under five) to do governor things! Result!

I have just had the horrible realisation that because I didn't get out of bed this morning DH has managed to send DD to school with no packed lunch.

DCMB ? My reasons for becoming a governor were similar. Because I am a busybody in Hyacinth Bucket stylee good citizen, I was invited to become a governor and I thought it would match pretty well with my background and experience. Won't the school have allowed DCMBBaby an emergency lunch? Ours would, complete with invoice in the book bag.

Daisy ? I think DaisyBoy and DaisyDad would just have to give a repeat of the Mexican guitar performance with accompanying whoops and fa la la la las. For costumes, I am thinking large hats and shirts with frilly sleeves.

Thank you so much for the Margaret Atwood. She is my favourite author (see my national treasure thread - I tweaked the rules so that she would be eligible).

Or did he fall in the lake while heroically clearing the duck weed? Are his checked shirt and corduroy trousers now steaming on the rail of the Aga? Would someone please give that man a blanket?

Its hopeless isn't it. You would think that the world would stop if all mums were ill one day. No school would operate efficiently as they would all be suffering from lack of lunch / snacks/ wrong clothes/ no gloves/ no PE kit / no homework....

It is a very good thing that we've got the peacelilly where it is - it makes Mellors' pose uncensorable

MJ got his violin at 2.5 although we've not done much - just been concentrating on school for a bit! I don't want to be pushy and put him off it. However, he did get to the stage where he was making a nice sound on open strings which, given the violin, was quite an achievement (well, OK, a not nasty sound then )

BTW, MJ was headbanging to the Rite of Spring (Stravinsky) yesterday in the car on the way home from school.