Is it selfish to only have one?

[mikeysmom]

Ok, this is our situation. I had an ok pregnacy and and ok birth (it was C-section but no major complications beyond that). We have our child and we are happy. I can't imagine in a million years having another, going through all that baby stuff again, being up at night, etc. Everyone in our family, all our friends think we should have another. I here women talk about how they may have only one due to medical reasons or due to things such as that...well, I have no medical reasons not to have another, except maybe mental reasons like keeping my sanity, etc.

I just don't want him to be lonely when he grows older. I don't want him to have no one to call when he needs someone. We don't have anyone close in our family or nieghborhood in age, so its hard beyond playgroups and the kids at the park for my 3.9 year old to socialize with anyone. I don't know if it will get harder or easier as he gets older. Are we being selfish-for our own reasons as parents not to have another? Am I taking away something from him as he gets older? Or is it just some type of major peer/family pressure thing people fall into when deciding 'should we have antoher?'...I really really want to go back to working and I miss adult interations, and I dont' think I can stand another child.

I think it is an entirely selfish thing to do. But also think it is selfish to have more than one.
A child has the potential to be just as happy as an only child as they have as part of a larger family. Every life has it's problems and things that you think could be better, but the reality isn't always as you imagine it might be.

My DD is an only child and I intend it to stay that way. I was one of three growing up. I had two brothers. Although we played together reasonably well when we were younger, I was never close enough to them to tell them secrets and they were much closer to each other, I assume because they are both boys.

When your DS starts school, he will have other children to play with. When he gets older he will have friends to confide in. I really think that it makes very little difference and whether you have brothers and sisters or not. I am hoping that DD and I will be closer when she gets older as it is only the two of us.

In conclusion, yes it is a selfish decision. One of many that you will make in your lifetime. But not one that you should feel guilty about

I have three, I have three because I wanted three-an entirely selfish decision-I would assume most people's decisions are similarly selfish-much better to do what you are comfortable with than what you feel you ought to do.

This has been a great thread!

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