Private education for one

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If you have an only child did you make a decision to send them to a private school, in part because you couldn't afford have afforded it for more than one? It's not a given yet but after fertility problems and then multiple miscarriages it looks highly likely DD will be an only. This has opened up private schooling as an option which we never really considered because we 'assumed' we'd have more. However we moved recently and there is a school nearby which seems like it would really suit her. State school options are good but there are no single sex options at secondary other than private. If we did this we look to start in the nursery next year. Just wondered if anyone had been through anything similar.

I have experience of the state and private sectors as a parent and a teacher. Personally I disagree that private primary school is a waste of money, conversely it can set them up brilliantly for secondary school and there is often a larger range of extracurricular activities, more sports matches etc. Far fewer disruptive pupils and specialist teaching of certain subjects from a young age. It very much depends on your area though, I live in a rural county which has always been woefully funded in the state sector, near the bottom of the list, so it may not be like that where you live. Certainly I know certain affluent boroughs of London receive almost twice the funding per pupil we do here, so it's not always as simple as state v private.

In reception, little things like staff reading with the child every single day at school (as well as parents doing at home) can make a big difference to some children (I have a summer born too). In the state primary my older child only got listened to once a week and book changed then too. Vast difference. Thankfully we have loads of books and enjoy reading but at the state primary they simply didn't have time and staff to do it more often.

My DD is in P3 at a private school (we’re in Scotland, think the equivalent is Y2?).

We had originally planned state primary then private secondary but the total lack of wrap around care options locally made the decision for us and I’m so pleased it did.

Be very careful relying on anecdotal evidence, our school is very different to the ones described above. All schools are different. My DD is in a year of about 100 children. Class sizes are small but there is no shortage of friends outside her class. Teaching is excellent, SEN provision too. It’s far more ethnically diverse than the state primary she would have gone to and - once she gets to secondary with assisted places - will be more socio- economically diverse than the local high school.

If the school feels right for you, go for it. You may find that starting in nursery, the school recommend deferral but they’ll be doing that from a position of knowing your daughter.

Yes, we're planning to send DD to private prep and secondary. Hadn't considered it when she was born but it's definitely more feasible financially with just one child so we have looked at all the options more. We're in London so private secondaries are often very selective. We're looking at some all-through schools like you, which would avoid the 11+. But she would need to get through their 4+ selection so we don't know which school she will go to yet (she's 2).

DD is a summer born and I looked at deferring, but it looked like it would get complicated with secondary school selection, so decided against it.

Might sound silly but for me, there's a sense of making up for the lack of a bigger family/sibling for DD by providing her with an educational experience that she'll benefit from throughout her life.

I so agree with this!

Private school advantage is if you need something resolved, the school gets back to you asap. If you are a busy working mum, the state school system is not responsive enough. The prep may have a nurse onsite, music teaching onsite, the team sports are there, so this also means you don't have to ferry round at the weekend. Teaching is mostly the same, though if its a boarding prep, you have access to afternoon/evening activities also and they can provide supper so you don't have to rush back to pick them up. Lockdown has meant that online learning from the private prep has been unquestionably brilliant. Once you visit the school, you will know if it is right for your child.

I had a relative who worked in a primary school for over 20 years in Ireland. She told several people she knew to let their children start in primary school at 5 or as close as possible to 5. Over the years she saw boys and girls starting school at 4 and she could see that that socially the younger children found it harder than the children that were older.

I also think that you would be better sending your child to a state school in primary. Save the cost of this for extra holidays, music lessons or towards helping them get into a good private day school, day boarding or boarding school.
As you child goes through primary school and you can see where their interests lie and pick a school that suits them.

I would agree that a private school or boarding school for secondary school is money better spent. Parents who send their kids to these schools are normally well educated and want the same for their kids. In secondary school being with a smaller class group with ambitious children is better.
As they go through primary have a look at several secondary schools as you can see which one suits your child the best.