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One-child families

Got questions about only having one child? Find the answers here.

Has anyone decided not to have more DC for environmental reasons?

118 replies

KlingybunFistelvase · 06/12/2016 16:33

Just that really.

DH and I were about to start TTC DC2, but we're having a rethink ATM. One of the big factors for me is carbon footprint / impact on the environment. Wondered if this is something other people considered when deciding whether to try for a second / third / fourth?

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KlingybunFistelvase · 14/12/2016 18:22

Sorry that was to ppeat - just realised "pp" looks like I'm saying previous poster!

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SomeDayMyPrinceMightCome · 14/12/2016 19:23

Have some posters possibly not realised that this is the One-Child families section of MN...? traditionally a place where us parents of onlies come to for support in what can honestly be a seriously judgemental world (until you've been told, by a perfect stranger, and in front of your own child - who understands - that your not having a sibling for that child is 'pure selfishness', you don't really know just HOW judgey a lot of stupid people areabout only child families)

Not really the part of the forum where I come to for comments about onlies obviously wanting siblings and it being 'sad' tbh Confused. I think I'd head to AIBU if I ever wanted to hear ill-informed people spouting off about it in that manner.

SomeDayMyPrinceMightCome · 14/12/2016 19:25

In fact, seeing as I know three or four families where siblings loathe each other to the point of violence (from childhood into adulthood) maybe I should pop onto the Larger Families forum and post a comment about how siblings are a terrible idea and how sad it is for people who have sisters and brothers...

Or maybe I won't do that, because I realise that every family and every person and every situation is different.

Angry

Sorry to post off-topic OP...

KlingybunFistelvase · 14/12/2016 19:32

No worries SomeDay. There are some pretty offensive comments on here re onlies.

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123yourusername · 14/12/2016 19:32

Do you get out much?

SomeDayMyPrinceMightCome · 14/12/2016 19:36

Thanks Klingy

I also think of my good friend who endured 7 miscarriages only to have her 6 year old daughter badgered by a lady on the bus about when her mum was going to 'give her a brother or a sister.... I mean, you'd like one, wouldn't you, darling?'

the mind boggles, it honestly does.

KlingybunFistelvase · 14/12/2016 19:38

Eh? Was that to me? What a strange comment! I get out but maybe not enough. If you're offering, let's go to the pub forthwith! Drinks are on you yes?

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KlingybunFistelvase · 14/12/2016 19:39

Sorry that was to 123 not you someday.

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SomeDayMyPrinceMightCome · 14/12/2016 19:40

I assumed Grin Grin

BroadBeanSlippers · 14/12/2016 20:07

I have two children but wouldn't dream of telling someone with one child that I was sad for them! Of all the things to be sad about on the planet right now that seems laughable. I have a sister I've never got along with, since we were very small. There's no guarantee you'll get the ideal family unit.

I'm also down for the pub, if 123's getting the first couple of rounds in.

KlingybunFistelvase · 14/12/2016 20:23

See you there BroadBean! Grab your wallet 123, you'll be needing it Grin.

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fingles · 14/12/2016 20:41

Yes, it was the reason we stopped at two.

Sir a David Attenborough is one of the patrons of this

GreenGoth89 · 14/12/2016 21:10

We are yet to start TTC for DC, we co-parent DSS, but we aren't going to have another 75% for environmental reasons, 25% for monetary reasons.

KlingybunFistelvase · 14/12/2016 21:24

I've come across that group before fingle, also when reading about David Attenborough. Quite interesting. Will have another look.

I also just wanted to say there is a thread on Site Stuff asking for a climate change topic. Someone from MNHQ was asking if anyone else was interested, so if you are, please pop over and say so on the thread if you can:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/site_stuff/2764769-Please-can-we-have-a-climate-change-topic

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cakegoblin · 14/12/2016 21:47

I am lucky to have two DC, always wanted three but my husband wants to stop at two. I was upset about this at first, but have recently really woken up to the damage to the environment they do (or should I say I do on their behalf). It makes my skin crawl to think that all their thousands of nappies are still out there in landfill somewhere and will be for 1000-odd years. Not to mention the car fumes ferrying them about to swimming/ballet/school/work, the methane from farming for their food in the future, the natural gas and petroleum they consume, the plastics in all this crap I find myself buying them for Christmas... I don't know why it took me so long to focus my thoughts on these issues but it did and now I can't stop worrying about it.
My kids draw pictures of rainbows and hearts and butterflies and people holding hands, their picture books are full of animals that might not still exist in the wild by the time they grow up. I could cry when I think of the planet they are going to inherit.
But on the upside this has now had a positive effect, of sorts, in that I am now happy sticking at two despite still having the odd pang of intense longing for another baby. The world is overpopulated as it is. I shouldn't have had my second, really (though I love her to bits).
FYI, with this thread currently featuring on the Trending panel I didn't realise it was in the One Child section and I assume many other posters didn't see that either, hence their hurtful comments.

RitaCrudgington · 14/12/2016 22:02

As a general rule of thumb, if you have more than two children you are part of the problem of overpopulation whereas if you have fewer than two then you are, crudely speaking. I've got two which makes me morally neutral - and although we didn't actually want three, if we had been dithering then environmental concerns would have come into it. I'm prepared to justify my choice to breed at replacement rate on Kantian grounds, but will cede the moral high ground to people who only have one.

KlingybunFistelvase · 15/12/2016 09:07

ppeatfruit, sorry to be cheeky, but just in case you missed it, can you link to the info predicting that 70% of populated land could be underwater in 30 years time? I've been googling a bit obsessively but can't find it.

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Cherylene · 15/12/2016 10:32

Replacement rate is actually more than two - not everyone has children, not everyone lives to adulthood.

The biggest environmental problem is that more of the rest of us live too long and take up too many resources Wink

www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/populationandmigration

ppeatfruit · 15/12/2016 10:42

Klingy I can't link to it, but know that it's rising ( I listen to the radio, the news, read the papers , yes, northern , the Guardian, Grin all sorts of programmes on the telly) I've heard them saying so. Maybe not 30 years or even 50 but it's best to be aware and trying to do something, out own little bit, rather than nothing Grin

ppeatfruit · 15/12/2016 10:46

Sorry Klingy I didn't read your previous post , I'm unable to be on here a lot atm. Grin

KlingybunFistelvase · 15/12/2016 10:51

Oh totally agree ppeat. It is rising and we need to take action. Clearly I took that figure of 70% in 30 years a bit too literally (obsessive creature that I am) BlushGrin.

There's a really interesting part of the 'before the flood' site where you can see how rising global temperatures will affect coastal cities. If we hit 2 degrees above industrial levels, as people estimate we will in about 50 years, there are many parts of London which look to be underwater Sad.

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ppeatfruit · 15/12/2016 10:55

What makes me most [angry) Is the way our govts. go on and on about 'growth'. Our country can't 'grow' ffs. What's wrong with maintaining ?

Stevemcqueenlikesbeans · 15/12/2016 10:59

In a roundabout way, yes. We felt uncomfortable at the thought of 'creating ' another child in this world when there are plenty who need adopting. So we adopted our 3rd child.

ppeatfruit · 15/12/2016 11:42

I think that's great Steve Xmas Grin

appalachianwalzing · 15/12/2016 14:27

I'm an only child and would much rather have had siblings so will (hopefully) have at least two. I do at the same time care about the environment and climate change. (I also think many people with siblings would have preferred being only children: but you can't really predict these things ahead of time)

DH and I have arranged our lives in a way that will somewhat reduce our footprint - smaller old house in a central location so we can cycle/walk everywhere, looking to incorporate solar power and massive insulation into a renovation project next year, vegetarian household and likely to raise future children vegetarian, use cloth nappies, etc.

But to be honest, I actually think reducing global inequality and helping people in other countries out of poverty would have more of an impact at population level than having one fewer child and carrying on as normal. When countries reach a certain level of development, the number of children they have plummets. It's happened all over the world, regardless of religion or previous culture. If a family of nine has their situation improved to such an extent those children each decide to have no more than two children, then realistically, an improvement in the wellbeing of that family would have more impact than a family here having one fewer child- especially given large families are still the norm in lots of countries that are catching us up in terms of carbon.

It irks me when people who worry about overpopulation think the answer is wealthy people having one fewer child. Really, it's all wealthy people radically redesigning the way we love our lives, and focusing our attention on reducing global poverty. Continuing as we are, even with slightly fewer people, isn't enough.

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