only by choice- what are your reasons?

[cherrycat]

Hi I am new to this board and have just enjoyed reading many previous posts.

My DD is 21 months and I am very happy with my choice to have one. I was wondering if you have an only by choice what your thoughts and reasons are behind having one child?

I have many reasons for wanting just one....
fiances, childcare, me time, work etc etc.....having a second holds no appeal to me as my life just seems about manageable with the one I have. I love my DD so much and really enjoy motherhood but I remember the dreadful all day sickness for half of the pregnancy... crash emergency c-section under GA after labouring so fast that DD had the cord around the neck...recovering from the bloody section...the exhaustion and long dark days and nights of a newborn in winter...colic....ewwwww!! Never again!

Interested to hear your reasons for having an only by choice.....

[BooseysMom]

@littlemisscynical.. Haven't read the whole thread but your last post rang true with me as i was told the same and DS was only a few weeks old! DS is now 6 and i really don't want any more either. DH does but we're not in any position to have one. Then i read another thread which ii wanted to post on but just couldn't bring myself to. It was about the fear of something happening to your only. I wish i had never read that But there are no guarantees in life and that's what we all live with. We must try to be content with what we have and count our blessings x

[MsMooi]

A mum of 1 and don't think this is something bad. I am the only child myself because of the China's policy and I didn't feel lonely at all (not saying the policy itself is good)

I love my life as how it is. Let's be honest the first a few years were hard and just don't want to do it all over again 🙈

[McCanne]

My sanity.

My dd starts school this year and I haven’t changed my mind about not having any more, despite people telling me I’d change my mind. I mean I miss her being a baby but that moony broodiness can co-exist with rationally knowing I don’t want any more.


I’m tired, so tired.

[BooseysMom]

Yes, def feeling the tiredness too. It gets worse as you get older and i know it's too late for another dc. People keep telling me it doesn't ever leave you, the maternal broody feelings, and i tbh don't want to know! I do miss the baby years too but know i don't want to do it all again. I havent the energy!

[Gobbycop]

We became parents recently a bit later in life, I'm 43 my Mrs is 40.

We have a beautiful 10 week old boy.

Our reasons are due to being a bit older risk goes up ect, I was already worrying things might go wrong.
So these worries may be irrational but we're very happy where we are with one.
Both of us were only children as well so maybe it's fate.

We can focus all our efforts into giving him the best life we can.

[Yesterdayforgotten]

'E.g. all the extra hard work, the bigger car, more and more kit, weaning again, sleepless nights again and I wonder, does having 2 make all this extra hassle worthwhile? And I don't think it will.'

I'll remember this when I get upset over not having a third. I know I don't want a 3rd child but at the same time how do you turn off the biological urge and clock ticking thoughts!! I have 2 dc and I know I cannot have a 3rd for so many reasons.