can you tell me positive stories about nurseries please?

[kveta]

I've just been offered a place at my work nursery for my DS who will be 11 months when he starts there. He'll be going for 'school' hours, M-W, and I'll be able to breast feed on demand, if he still wants feeds by then!

I'm a bit wibbly about it though, because I keep hearing such horror stories about nurseries - neglect, overcrowding, children upset by them, and my mum has started now, telling me it's bad for children under the age of 3.

Thing is, he's already with a childminder 2 days a week (We're keeping him with her), and a nanny share 3 days a week, and he seems happy enough. I'm not working full time, and the nanny costs are breathtaking compared with the nursery costs (about a 35-40 quid a week difference, but the nursery provides food and he'll be there 1 hr longer than he is with nanny, plus he'll be a 5 minute walk from my office rather than a 30 minute drive).

Please reassure me that nursery experiences aren't universally bad?

don*t worry, you and ds will be fine.

My DS has been in ft nursery since he was 4.5 months old, is now 4, and I've always been very happy with his care, and he's always been happy at nursery. He's well attached to us, talkative, social, and well mannered (well, as much as a 4 year old can be ).

I don't regret our choice at all, and am sure that when DS leaves at the end of August to go to school I will cry, just as when we moved to where we are now the only thing I cried about (and we moved across the country to where we knew no one, going to be home based worker so no colleagues etc) was him leaving his lovely nursery

that's exactly the kind of thing I needed to hear CMOT! thank you! I'm fairly sure it'll all be fine, but keep having wibbly moments where I think I should jack in my job and be a stay at home mum. ?Then I remember that I'd probably be bored out of my mind doing that, no matter how lovely he is. Bloody guilt!

My DS has been at nursery (both FT and PT) since he was 1 and now at almost 4.3, we're all very sad he's leaving to go to school.

He's happy, chatty, generally well behaved (as CMOT says!), loved by all the staff and I really think our nursery has been the making of him - so much so, that his younger sibling will follow him for a few sessions a week, even though I don't actually work any more!!

Both my dc have been in nursery 3 days a week from a few months old.
Mine is 5 mins down the road and I used to go in and bf when required, they were great, making sure I had a good chair to feed in and storing expressed milk when needed. (youngest 18mo now so only feeding first and last thing now!)
I am really happy with where they are, they learn so much and are really developing socially. Their diet is varied as they try new things all the time, they have lots of friends and they seem to be learning vocab/reading/counting skills without even realising.
Mine also has 'nurserycam' so I can log on and watch them at any time
So yes, ours is a good experience.

DD leaves her nursery this July after 3 very happy years there, DS has been ther for 18 months now, was dithering whether to move him to the preschool attached to DD's new school but so happy with where he is that we are keeping him there.

Both mine are in nursery. Both from 6 months. And both love it. DS loves the attention and DD (who's 3 now) loves the other kids. And both love the activites, our nursery has Jo Jingles and a french teacher who come in. Biggest plus for me for nursery is that the DC aren't doing school run 3 times a day (which all my local childminders do). Always felt if am paying for childcare, I don't want them spending up to 2 hours a day in the car!

Good experience here too (dd is 13 months and has been going since she was 5 months). She loves it, I am sure that she benefits from it, and I am glad to be at work, too.

My MiL was similarly critical but has now admitted that it seems to be a good thing (and I did wonder if some of what felt like criticism was actually because she wanted to do the childcare herself...).

Have you spent time there? Nurseries vary wildly and you can learn a lot by visiting.

DD has been going 3 days a week since 8 months and has always loved it. She's learnt so much and I honestly believe it's been invaluable for her developing social skills -she knows she's not the only child in the world and that she has to share. I think she's more thoughtful and kind as a result. Well, sometimes! And a bit of conflict resolution is good for you too, right?! It does need to be a good nursery though I think.

Honestly I don't regret sending her for a second.

Another positive story here! DS has been going to a smll nursery near our house since he was 11 months old. He's 3 1/2 now. Despite the inevitable settling in tears, he has had a great time there. I don't think you can generalise about whether nurseries are bad or childminders are better - it depends on the nursery and the needs of the child.

And another one here in case you need it. DS has been in nursery since he was 11 months old. He is there 5 days a week 8-5.30. He is happy, sociable, advanced for his age, does activities that I can't even begin to imagine doing at home and he loves his carers - they babysit for me sometimes because I trust them so much.

Yes, DS has days when he grizzles going in and other days when he is really looking forward to coming home but they are rare and I think we all have days when we don't want our usual routine.

As long as you are happy with your choice of nursery, see the experience as a benefit to your child and give DS lots of love, attention and cuddles on the evenings and weekends. Lovely!

thanks for all the positive stories! I like the nursery, the baby room is bright and the babies all seem happy, there is a nice quiet room for them to nap in (as if DS will ever bloody nap...).
I have just heard so many people (admittedly, people who do not have children in nursery!) tell me such horror stories, and I'm worried about how my baby will cope.

we hated ds's first nursery so movd him.
Have loved his current one -not all polished and perfect but staff are lovely!

There are horror stories about all sorts of childcare provision.

If you are happy with what you've seen that's what's important.

I might suggest looking at a few others just to make sure that it is a right as you feel now - better to find out before your baby starts.

If you are popping in to feed him you'll see them warts and all anyway - how the staff relate to the children and how happy and confident the children seem. That is the most important thing.

Just go with your gut feeling - it's there for a reason.

Both my dc attended nursery part time, and it was lovely.

Would you like me to write down the card dd's key worker wrote her when we moved back to Italy?

DS (now at school) and DD have been at FT nursery since around 8.5 months (DS) / 11 months (DD) and have thrived. They were/are at a lovely nursery with a good range of experienced staff and have become very attached to several of the carers.

There are some nurseries where I wouldn't send a dog I disliked, though. If your nursery is good then your DS will be just fine, and he'll still have the childminder two days a week to give him some stability.

I have a 5y old now at school and a 2.5y old. Both went/go to the same nursery 2 days a week, 8-6 from 10m to leaving to start school in the older ones case, other one still there. Both loved it and hgot a lot out of it, the admin side occasionally got on my nerves but the staff were always lovely with the children and we never had any concerns about whether it was harming them in anyway. In fact, I was often glad that they were tehre 2 days a week getting balanced meals and doing messy play that I was often not up to at home!

My ds1 initially went to one we did not like and we switched him, since then, no concerns. You need to do your research but once you find one that is right (gut instinct will tell you this - and also probably that it is one of the more expensive ones in your area).

Both my boys are happy, secure, chatty, bright and love/loved going there. The one at school is thriving despite not going to a school pre-school. It will be fine if you do your research and maybe make sur he has a day or two at home with you too (or short days like you are doing) - not sure I woudl have been happy with them in 8-6 5 days a week tho I do know people who have done this.

my DD has been at nursery since 6m (3 now) and DS has been going since 10m (he is 16 months) and both LOVE it, get to do loads of things they don't do at home and eat things that I never do. My DD has some lovely little friends that she has grown up with.

Today is not a nursery day and DD woke up saying she wanted to go - so it can't be that bad!!

I think its good for them tbh and there is nothing like booking a day off work and still sending DCs to nursery

I have used the same private nursery for my two (youngest is still there) DD1 started at 5 months and went 3 days a week, DD2 started at 11 months and goes for 1.5 days (as our work patterns have changed)
It has been a really positive experience for them both and one they have both enjoyed.
Many of the staff have looked after both children and when DD1 comes with me after school to pick up her sister she is greeted like an old friend.
We have also been able to use the girls key worker as a regular baby sitter which is fab because she knows them both so well and we trust her completely.
When DD1 was 3 she needed heart surgery and after it was all successfully completed I dropped in to nursery to let them know she was OK. I will never forget the staff who looked after her (who were mainly young and without children of their own) sobbing with relief to know that she was OK - it really brought it home to me how much they cared about her. Our experience has very much been one of a place where our children are cared for and cared about.
Good luck!

My DS has been at nursery 3 days a week since he was 8 or 9 months old, and we're all really happy with it. He has just this week moved up from the baby room to the toddler room (sob) and his keyworker was very tearful to see him go, even though she'll still see him all the time. All the staff are lovely, warm and kind; they do loads of cool stuff with the children and like others I like knowing he is getting such a varied diet of activities while he's there.

There have been one or two very minor issues that were promptly and efficiently dealt with when I raised them. Otherwise I've been really impressed with how friendly and well-run the place is

DD went to her nursery for 4 years, from 11 months until she started Reception. She loved it and I cried on her last day - it had been such a part of all our lives. We have been back to visit a couple of times since she left - I don't think she would have wanted to do that if she had been unhappy there.

They make such good, close friendships with the other children there - it is so nice to see in such small children. DD still meets up with her closest friend who now goes to a different school and they will be going to SummerCamp together too.

DS (4.3) and DD (22m) go to a nursery full-time and it is wonderful. They are happy and stimulated. They both have very good friendships and are attached to the staff there.

DS is learning things that I know they don't cover at the local pre-school and is doing really well. He's currently rehearsing his graduation play - I am going to sob my heart out.

Both my children and also secure, chatty and happy. They are both really independent but very close to me and DH. I'd love them to be there less and with me more but I'd never take them out completely.

this is all great to hear! I'd kind of guessed that nurseries couldn't be all that bad considering how many of them there are, and how ludicrous the waiting lists were (hence DS is only going 3 days a week from 11 months, even though I came back to work 5 days a week when he was 7 months!). but I suppose it's like all aspects of childbearing/rearing - you tend to hear the bad stories more than the good ones, and whatever you do, someone, somwehre will have an opinion on it!

I am looking forward to DS going there as I can go and feed him during the day, and I'll see him pottering about on campus when the toddlers are going for their daily walk around the grounds - very cute to see a wee collection of toddlers in high vis jackets gambolling around like little lambs!

Kveta, it will all be absolutely fine and I just wanted to second what everyone else on here is saying. I put DD in nursery 3 (10 hour) days a week when she was 11mo and went up to 5 days when she was about 13mo. She absolutely LOVES it there, so happy and full of stuff to tell me at the end of the day. They have so much to do - way more than we have at home - they are all set up for messy play, art, sandpit, water, dressing up, have a huge climbing frame etc - stuff which even the richest most indulgent parent would never have at home. Plus they take them out to the park and the library etc. so they're not just stuck indoors.

My dad and stepmum were a bit [hmmm] about nursery but I took them along to drop her off a few times and they saw how she runs to the front door to see her friends, how caring the staff are, the range of activities and interactions they have. We try very hard at the weekends to do fun stuff with her but by necessity, I am sometimes cooking, cleaning, doing DIY or admin and not giving her 100% attention the way the staff do at nursery.

And ours is a local council-run place btw, not top dollar or fancy by any means but really diverse, friendly, warm, we just had a good feeling about it from the start.

My DD settled in with no tears at all, but I think that's unusual so you do have to be prepared for some wailing but that's normal and it doesn't last. I've seen friends worrying all day at work that their DC is screaming the place down and really upset but it's never the case, and a nursery would call you immediately if it was.

Good luck!

Yes, just to add to that - my DS still sometimes has a little grizzle or even does the proper dramatic WHY YOU LEAVE MEEEEEEEE sad face with howls, but whenever I look through the window a minute after leaving he'll be bouncing away on a ball laughing his head off