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nursery vs family care for a 7 week old

40 replies

SevernTrentWater · 15/09/2009 00:53

i have a 7 week old who needs to go into childcare asap so i can go back to my training. I can do 4 days full time in a nursery, or i can move back near my parents and get my mum and nan to take dd for the 4 days = more flexible. Now, what would you recommend?

She's a lovely placid baby so i'm sure she'd be fine anywhere, i left her with my nan today and i didn't worry at all, it was good to get out and work. Thing is, i have 100 days that i have to do, if i miss even 1 day then i have to make it up in my spare time (which i don't have much of if i want to qualify), and i'm worried whether if i put her in nursery she'll be off sick a lot, would it be one or two days here and there, or whole weeks? I can call my nan up to look after her but only if its major. Do they get sick often? Or not really something to worry about too much? I live in a really beautiful place which i think makes me happy (i used to feel down a lot when i lived back near my parents but that might be because i didn't like my job! not just the lack of nature), moving home is going to cost me a lot of money too although i save a bit on childcare (though my course covers 85 percent of the fees),

so i don't know for the sake of my education and dd whether to stay here or move near parents for 6 months/a year.

Thoughts?

OP posts:
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gerontius · 19/02/2010 00:13

Erm, surely it became our business when she asked us for advice?

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runnybottom · 19/02/2010 00:29

She asked for advice on which care situation. You can wade in calling her cruel and selfish but this isn't AIBU and it just makes you look like a busybody. I would imagine OP has solid reasons and has already made her decision. Why tell her shes a terrible mother? Some judging randomer on the net isn't going to make her rearrange her life.

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gerontius · 19/02/2010 13:34

If she's got solid reasons and has already made her decision, then why did she ask?Surely it's obvious that some were going to come on and say she should do the opposite of what she's doing.

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BunnyLebowski · 19/02/2010 13:38

I'm with korma on this one.

A 7 week old baby in nursery 4 day a week???

So unfair on the wee one

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Lulumama · 19/02/2010 13:39

i agree it is very soon to be back at work / training , but if it has to be this way, and you cannot defer, which i would have thought was a better idea, family care is probably going to be the best

your baby will get one to one care from a loving consistent person/people... if your baby is poorly, you can still leave her with your paretns, you can't do that with nursery or a cm , so if you have to make sure you do all the necessary days, then family is also better

IME, babies catch everything going at nursery when they are young...

or a nanny

even if you can find a nursery willing to take a 7 week old, i beleive a family environment would be far better for your baby

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Lulumama · 19/02/2010 13:41

bear in mind, a nursery CM will not and cannot take a child who has vomiting and / or diaorrhea, conjunctivitis, chicken pox, a fever

all of which are very common in young babies and toddlers

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Marne · 19/02/2010 13:42

I went back to work PT (a couple mornings a week) when dd1 was 12 weeks, i left her with family which didn't really work out and in the end DH looked after her as he had to take time of work with depression. I regret going back to work (even though it was only a couple mornings a week) even though dh did a great job.

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seeker · 19/02/2010 13:46

Family care. Or don't do it.

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mazzystartled · 19/02/2010 13:55

I think, if your course will cover most of the costs, I would choose a nanny in this situation, partly because 4 days per week is an awful lot to ask from a grandparent or great-grandparent. Nurseries are great from 6/8 months IMO (both mine thrived there from that age, p/t) Can you even consider deferring for a couple of months?

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OTTMummA · 19/02/2010 21:34

i wouldn't put a 7 week old baby into nursery, no matter how good it was!
can you not stall it for a few months or a yr even?!
It isn't going to make much of a difference to you if you wait a little longer, but it will make a big difference for your baby if you rush them into nursery,
either family care or i wouldn't do it.
you have a baby now, its all about them for most things now welcome to motherhood!

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Nellykats · 25/02/2010 23:54

I'm a happy example of somebody taken care of by a grandmother. My mum went back to work early, when I was a (very) few weeks old. My granny was brilliant, loving and fun and loved me more than anything, and so did I. So, no, I don't agree that it's only mum or dad that should be with a little one. Grandparents are perfect for such young age.

I wouldn't choose the nursery option, because at that age one to one is far better and the bonding between family members is invaluable. My DS started part time nursery at 13 months and it was a good time, as he could walk and play and interact with his environment. I think that when they are very little they mostly need hugs really...

Sickness is definitely a minus point...our DS has been ill almost non stop for the last few months (since he started nursery) so you'll probably creating more work for yourself by opting for nursery or childminder.

Good luck with your training!

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tortoiseonthehalfshell · 26/02/2010 00:20

Grandparent if she's up to it - it is a lot to ask of someone, to take care of a tiny one for that many days, and you don't want to find yourself stuck if your parent/grandparent goes back on the deal.

I went back at 5 months, my mother had my daughter one day a week, and by ten months she had to stop doing it because her back was playing up from all the carrying/picking up of my now-much-heavier daughter. So I'm a bit wary of relying too heavily on grandparents.

But I agree, nursery isn't suitable. A nanny or parental help is best at this age. Something one on one.

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ConnorTraceptive · 26/02/2010 00:29

This thread is 6 months old

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tortoiseonthehalfshell · 26/02/2010 00:49

So it is.

Why do old threads keep getting bumped recently? Seems SO odd.

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Nellykats · 26/02/2010 07:25

I wonder what she did do...

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