Am I wrong to expect nursery to respect our wishes re daytine sleep?

[totallytired]

Please excuse the name but I have changed from my usual one!

We are having a problem with our nursery and my dd's napping. She is 2 and a half and a couple of months ago, she stopped napping in the day, bar a 20 min power nap here and there, usually when out in the car. She's never been a big sleeper, but we found that cutting out the nap, she slept better during the night and woke up at a less anti-social hour in the morning.
Nursery were reluctant to drop the sleep as they said she was very young but we compromised on a catch up sleep twice a week, on specified days. We would have preferred that she had a power nap more often but they will not wake them from naps. The problem is that the days she naps, she is a generally very hard work to get to bed and frequently wakes earlier.
Should I have a word with the nursery manager as we seem to be hitting a brick wall with her keyworker or sholud I just accept their way of doing things? I and she loves the nursery other than this - they're great at many things but I feel really frustrated by this.

Sorry for my essay! I would be interested to know what others would do.

What is she like when she is woken from a nap? The little boy that I look after is very hard work if we have to wake him. He needs at least 20-30 mins of one to one attention to 'jolly' him along otherwise he goes back to sleep or goes into complete meltdown and has a huge paddy! It always seems so unfair to wake him but if we didn't bedtime would be very late and he is also more likely to wake through the night.

We had the same problem with our nursery.

They kept insisting she needed a nap because nursery was tiring for her.

In the end, I had to put my foot down and insist that they stop her nap or else we had very difficult evenings getting her to sleep. They've been pretty good since since that conversation.

Having worked in nurseries for many years I personally do not think that 2 and a half is too young to stop naps. We often had requests from as young as rising 2's to cut down on naps. And the whole not waking them at all or because it takes a while to settle them back into the day after a nap is pants. Thats what nursery workers are trained and prepared for. Distraction, quiet play etc etc etc. Does sound too rigid to me. Would they be the same for a 4 year old that still needs a nap(know a few) would they then refuse on convenience grounds?

Well, after a later bedtime last night and a half past five waking this morning, I've had enough. I have to say, they have never said its not convenient but I just get that feeling. To be honest, DD is back to her usual self within minutes of waking from a 20 min nap and generally remains in good spirits until bedtime.

I really appreciate all your comments and advice. Thanks again to all.

i think you are totally within your rights to say no naps

i had to do this when dd was 2 ish and nursery were fine, they provided a sleeping area but also quiet activities for those who dont want to sleep

pretty sure it would come under the unique child bit of the EYFS

Sorry to be a bit suspicious, but maybe it's just easier for them to put the children to sleep and leave them sleeping? Time off, so to speak?
If her sleeping in the day is affecting your nights, then they should respect that.

Sorry to upset the apple cart but personally I think 2.4 is too young to expect to last all day without half an hour/hours nap.

What happens at 5.30 - 6.00pm when they are really tired/grumpy/falling asleep eating?

I've experienced this with my three and they all needed a nap until at least 3 years old and would always sleep better through the night for it.

I'm also a childminder and all the children I've looked after over the past 9 years benefitted from an hours nap (the youngest dropped theirs around 2.8) and some went on at 3 and half/4 years old.

But then again every child is an individual.
That's why we have this EYFS thing I suppose and your nursery should be respecting this.

How did you get on?

well, it appears I am being unreasonable to expect them to take any notice of me. have just been in this morning, couldnt find the manager so spoke to the room leader, for whom i used to have great deal of repsect. They still maintain that she is too young, they don't seem to understand the impact that this is having on us as a family - it has become a really big issue and we are now too tired to deal with it.tbh, I have been left very upset (in my defense I am pregnant and very hormonal at the moment ) and made this clear to them, but have not come to a way forward other than to be told to be more firm with her when she wakes / gets up early or in the night.
It appears 'best practice' and the 'child's welfare' come before parental input.
sorry, I am ranting but I am still irrational, and still crying! SO, they will still be offering her a sleep every day and stuff the consequences. I need to work out what to do next, if anything, or should i just shut up and put up?

Do NOT shut up and put up! Perhaps suggest that she goes 2 days without sleep, say Tuesdays and Thursdays and see how you go from there. Point out that it is very difficult for you as a family, and you would like to find a situation that works for both you and the nursery. If they still refuse to cooperate - you will have to put your foot down and say 'You know what? I am the parent here, not you. I want to begin stopping the day time naps. This is not up for negotiation."