Nurseries vs Grandparents

[Wigglesworth]

There is an article on GMTV website this morning about grandparents doing childcare when mothers go back to work and how they would be better off going to nursery. I am due to return to work in a couple of months when DS will be 9 months old and I am still having a hard time deciding what is best.
Currently the plan is nursery 3 days, my Mum 1 day and with me for 1 day (I am reducing my hours to have a day off, would like more time off but money an issue). I am starting to have mixed feelings though, does anyone else do anything similar or any good or bad experiences with their arrangements, does nursery or grandparents work for you? Thanks v. much.

Mine are looked after by my Mum one day and MIL one day a week each

Works v well

Both offered to have them, love having them (my Mum looks after dn one day a week too)

They do get v spoilt (with food treats, mainly, but that's another thread )

But my dc have lovely, lovely relationships with them which might not have developed in the same way had they not had them for me whilst I work

But I get on with my Mum and MIL v well and trust them 100% with my dc, which I am sure makes a difference when looking at childcare options

Depends on your mum, if she can manage to come to your house that would be great for you.
My mum comes to mine, she thinks small children are often happier in their own home. Also means she doesn't need toys and a highchair etc. This also means that I organise food for the children, and there isn't really anything in the house I wouldn't want them to eat. Do you think food may be a potential area of conflict?
What else might you disagree with your mum about?

Grannies could become extinct!
The joys of being an active granny (or gran'pa of course) could disappear if the current trend for starting a family later and later is to continue.
If the daughters of mothers of 40 follow their example then a first-time granny would be 80.
Not only could this unique relationship be lost, its benefits for all three generatios will go with it. The special relationship between grandparent and grandchild and the support for parents, who are juggling jobs and their own relationships, as well as child rearing, can be invaluable.
This in turn will lead to even more 'professionalisation' of child care, as kids spend more and more time in nurseries, after school and holiday clubs, missing out on the opportunity to estabish close relationships with adults. A 'Lord of the Flies' society, with children experiencing only the company of other children looses many advantages of a mixed generation environment which has given the wonderful memories that past generations have experienced.

The best thing to do is to stay at home and/or work part-time. Your baby will grow up so fast and in 3 years you won't get that time back! Why do Mums keep saying they have to go back to work? All that's required is a cut in living standards. There's lot of support out there for non-working mums such as tax credits etc.

I don't understand our culture where Mums are having babies and then handing over their care when they're below 2 years old. If people don't want to care for their children, why do they have them? Of course its tiring but that's the whole point, it's not meant to be easy.

On a more serious note, a nursery can never ever give the same level of attention and love to your baby that you or your family can. Until they can walk and talk I wouldn't even think about putting them in any childcare setting with strangers. You and your baby will both be unhappy with the arrangement, no matter how much you try to convince yourself otherwise. Babies naturally are meant to be with their mothers (and fathers) when they are very young. That's how most of the world still do it as well.

Twaddly-bollocks. Everyone is a "stranger" until you get to know them, and most of the world bring up babies in the middle of a big extended family where there are loads of sisters and cousins and aunts and grandparents around who pitch in with each other's children on a regular basis. Because, in most of the world, women do work (not in paid 9-5 office jobs, but real hard physical labour). It was the same way in the UK until a century or so ago, unless you were seriously posh. The "mother staying at home doing some housework and caring for the children on her own, continuously, until they start school" model is a very, very recent one in a very, very small part of the world.

DS and DD were not in any way unhappy with nursery. DD regards the staff in her room as great friends, will sprint down corridors and launch herself into their arms for a cuddle, and talks about them all the time. DS is at school now but is still genuinely attached to the teachers he had at nursery and will seek them out when we're dropping off or picking up DD.

My DD is with my Mum one day a week, at nursery two days a week and with me two days a week and I feel we have a great balance.

She loves being with my Mum and get loads of one to one attention, the bonus is my Mum only has her one day so doesn't feel it is the same old routine day after day which I do sometimes.

My Mum does not always do everything exactly as I would but we have never had a situation where she did something I thought was a 'deal breaker' - I know she has my daughter's interests at heart

DD loves nursery as she has lots of friends and loves her carers there, the food, all the outdoor play - plus they do loads of 'messy' play and do things which reinforce the natural stages she reaches - eg learning about shapes and cooking.

And she also has quality time with me (and with DH at weekends).