OK, I have spent last night reading Stephen Biddulph's The Secret of Happy Children, specifically the chapter where he concentrates on the long term effects a child may,or according to the author, "might" suffer if deprived from his/her mother presence and sent to nursery.
Anyways... I never paid much attention to his views on nurseries as my child (25m old) has become very sociable since attending one. However, reading through that chapter yesterday I realised that my son displays two characteristics that the author claims children who are suffering the effects of the nurseries do have: He doesn't want to come with me after nursery time, which I thought was due to him enjoying the playing; and some other thing that I really don't think is exclusive to nursery children.
Before reading the book I was watching Jamie's school dinners which had already given me enough worries even before reading Biddulph's book.
And finally, when I went to pick him up this afternoon, I was told by the manager that we needed to sort up DS's attending time as he was obviously distressed because he was not having naps during the day as I was picking him up 15m-30min after lunch, when most children are already being taking the afternoon nap -He attends two full days and 3 half days-. I told her that DS was sleeping at home (which he does) and she looked so surprised that I got the idea that she didn't believe me, I still don't understand why she was making such a fuss...DS is a lovely placid child, for one time that he decides that he doesn't want to go to sleep and throw a tantrum is not the end of the world, is it?. Anyways, I went to the room and found DS who had been crying for quite a while, and although he came to me when he saw me, it took him another couple of minutes to stop crying. I asked them what he had for lunch and bingo!!! fish fingers and baked beans! (...more on Jamie Oliver's program ). Besides, I have asked them not to give him baked beans as he is allergic to tomatoes and although the way he was acting was out of proportion and surely non related to his tomato allergy, it made me wonder about what kind of food he is given and if my instructions regarding the allergies are not dealt with as seriously as they should. So, we have agreed to change DS schedule, so instead of taking him in the mornings, I will take him in the afternoon, after he has had lunch and a nap at home.
DS started attending nursery while I was studying. When I finished a couple of months ago, we decided to let him stay at the nursery as he seemed to be enjoying it so much, also because we don't speak English at home. Because the nursery is also the only place where he can have contact have with other children of his age (we don't know any other). Because I may find a job and wouldn't like to go through the problem to get a space in the nursery again. And yes, because with my PND, both DS and me end up having a very long day, which I believe is not completely good for any of us.
I have not found a job but I'm going back to University on October, at the moment I am trying to advance some of the research, but TBH I could take care of DS at home and forget about the research until October, or even forget about going back to study at all, but given what I have said above, I'm not sure if taking him out of nursery will be more benefitial to him than leaving things as they are atm.
I'm very shy and bad at small talk so I find the idea of going to mother and toddler groups terrifying, I have tried it but I have hated it. We don't have any family around, and our friendships are rather superficial as most of the people we get to know moves out of the city as soon as they can (Why am I still here I will never know). So, DS would have a very lonely social life if he stops going to the nursery.
So the question is (finally), am I doing what is best for him? or should I forget about the nursery and take care of him myself? or is this just some over the top mid night ramble?
Oh Gawd! am I doing the right thing?