i placed my 18 month son in a nursery 1 day a week a month ago, after assessing it thoroughly. I had the usually anxieties about leaving him in the care of those whom i did not know, but was fully assured by the nursery of all the carers qualifications, expertise, and checks, and with the knowledge that my son would never be alone with any one member of staff. The place seemed friendly, clean, the children happy, if not a bit clinical and corporate. I was definately seduced by the manageress, who was a great sales woman, assuring me constantly that my worries were healthy, and if i ever had any fears whatsoever, to talk with them immediatley, so they could be addressed.I was given a very impressive looking file with mission statements, core objectives etc etc, and that was it, i was sold! My son started after a short trial session, and seemed to settle in well. The first day i picked him up, we took home his day book, and his first painting done at nursery, i watched him eating his dinner through the window, sat at the table feeding himself, and felt a great sense of pride, at him and myself for letting go enough, to enable him to have playtime with other children, without his mummy being there. However, one day i went to collect him, and he wasnt in the room, my heart sank, i felt an instant sense of fear, as i span round i saw him coming out of another room, holding a male carers hand. He had had his nappy changed , i was told. I cautiously asked where, and who by, to discover that all the nonsense about the children never being left alone with only 1 member of staff, was infact true, except for nappy change time. I addressed this with the management, who have now officially informed me that my request is unlawful, and the male member of staff could sue them for sexual discrimination if they were to fulfill my request that my sons nappy was only changed by a female member of staff. So what about my rights as a parent? do i not have the option of who handles my childs personal care? i have been told by the nursery that my views are extreme. Who cares if someone else sees them as extreme, they are my views about my son, in a nursery that i am paying for. If he were being seen by a doctor, could i not request a chaperone be in attendance, if he were to be alone with him? I have called ACAS today, and checked that employment law does protect the male carer, from being discriminated in this way by my request, does anyone or any law protect my views and wishes as the childs mother? My husband works from home, so my son has plenty of male interaction, i feel completely comfortable in my view on this matter, however i want only the best for my son, and have now removed him from the nursery with the decision now whether to place my son in a carefully selected nursery, with no male carers (so that this situation does not arise again) or to give up on the notion that my child will ever be cared for the way i wish, by anyone other than me?Has anyone else found themselves in this situation, or does anyone know what my rights are in this matter?