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Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

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Original poster

Baby 'painting' a picture for Daddy equals child abuse???

60 replies

FeelingEvil · 30/06/2008 20:34

Not quite sure where to post this.
It's DH's birthday in a couple of weeks and I thought it would be nice for my year old DD to do a handprint or something like that on a piece of card for his birthday.
So, as I didn;t want Dd getting paint everywhere at home, I asked the nursery if I could stay with DD one morning and get her to do a hand print with paint for DH.

Not sure quite what to make of the response:
Head of the baby room told me that they didn't like making finished works with babies because it inhibits their creativity by setting boundaries as to what's good or bad works and that's why they don't do painting. I was okay with this. But then she went on to say that putting a babies hand down on a piece of paper was equal to child abuse and not something she could or would ever do.
Bit extreme, no?

I went on to explain that it was a special occasion and that it would be a one-off and it didn't matter whether she did a finished hand print or just got a piece of card messy. We left it at me going in to do the painting with DD one morning this week.
But now I've had time to think about it, I do feel a bit insulted by what she said, should I go ahead and do it or not?
And is she right? Or am I being over the top in feeling insulted?

Can't discuss this with DH as it's meant to be his birthday surprise, so am relying on wise and sensible MNetters to help me make sense of this.

OP posts:

tassisssss · 30/06/2008 20:45

Bonkers!

Mummywannabe · 30/06/2008 20:46

Onepeiceoflollipop - LOL that vrey funny, often had the same response from the babies i have worked with

onepieceoflollipop · 30/06/2008 20:47

TotalChaos I am intrigued as to how your friend manages mealtimes? Does she lift the baby up to the cupboards and fridge to select his/her own meal, rather than offending the little darling with something he might not fancy?

spicemonster · 30/06/2008 20:48

I can't tell you how many 'paintings' I have from DS's nursery. And I'd imagine he had his creativity inhibited in each and every one, purely because what he really wants to do is eat everything.

She's a loon. Make a nice picture at home for your DH, he'll love it (I made mugs for people with that mug paint and just sat DS on a big piece of plastic sheeting in his nappy and shoved him in the bath after)

onepieceoflollipop · 30/06/2008 20:48

Mummywannabe she is a little character and very "vocal" in making her feelings known. Not crying (in case anyone thinks that I or the nursery leave her to cry, we don't). We have a range of squawkings/hand flappings and shrieks depending on how badly she wants to get her point across.

BouncingTurtle · 30/06/2008 20:51

She sounds like a nutter. Before Father's Day, my local SureStart had all the kids doing this at all the groups, they had paint and coloured paper with a lovely verse on them, and you could do handprints or footprints, with your babies and toddlers, it was great fun! Ds's looked like a smear though

Sexonlegs · 30/06/2008 20:52

How bizarre! DD2 (14 months) is at nursery and we have had a few handprint cards home. I am gobsmacked!

slim22 · 30/06/2008 20:52

is it a steiner nursery?

Original poster

FeelingEvil · 30/06/2008 20:54

Thanks, knew I cold count on you lot to talk sense.
She said that she would set up the painting stuff for me on Thursday morning, which would make me feel really awkward if she remembers and does set it all up.
Shall I just tell her I've changed my mind and thought it would be more fun to do it at home?

BTW - it;s a normal council run nursery with an outstanding OFSTED and she's been there for 20 years!

OP posts:

gybegirl · 30/06/2008 21:01

Completely barking. My little girl has only just stopped paining her hand the second we start to do painting at home (and we do it a lot) and now starts on the paper first! She has the same level of artistic skill as her mother (ie none) but loves it and is so proud of her paintings, including hand paintings, we put all over the kitchen. We make cards for everything.
We did painting at our local library and my pals child had red poo the next day. She almost dialled 999 before realising it was the stuff he'd eaten the day before - watch out for how much they eat

oops · 30/06/2008 21:01

Message withdrawn

Original poster

FeelingEvil · 30/06/2008 21:30

oops - wish I could lol about it.
makes me feel a bit down and doubtful of my choice of nursery

OP posts:

Janni · 30/06/2008 21:38

I think if she's laying the painting stuff out for you, you should go and do it at the nursery. It sounds like she's been on a training day about the stuff Katymac was describing and is taking it all a bit too intensely.

colditz · 30/06/2008 21:38

Don't feel bad, at least you know she has a zero tolerance approach to manhandling the children!

micci25 · 30/06/2008 21:41

my sister who is great mum is constantly 'abusing' her children in this way! and i love recieving the results of her abuse! lovely cards with photos, handprints and even footprints too

get a mess mat and have a bowl of warm soapy water near you! and your nursery manager is a fruitloop!!

margoandjerry · 30/06/2008 21:47

Janni, I thought "training day" as well.

My nephew's school report was similarly cut and pasted from a manual. It says he "understands the importance of diversity in his play" He is 5.

The woman is clearly an idiot with no common sense.

Original poster

FeelingEvil · 30/06/2008 22:19

Just told DH about it as he could tell I was a bit down about something. He reminded me that nursery had a training day on Friday, so you're probably right.

Hopefully, it's just a blip.
Don't feel comfortable doing the painting at nursery anymore, so will just mention it to her in a "by the way" fashion, before I say "must go ... running late."

On a more positive note .. thanks for all the suggestions as to how to limit the mess with DD's first painting session.

OP posts:

Janni · 30/06/2008 23:07

'Auntie Margoandjerry! I DO SO understand the importance of diversity in my play. You are disrespecting me'.

islandofsodor · 30/06/2008 23:22

I must be really abusive then because I actually had my ds's hand and foot in set in that plaster stuff to create a hand/foot cast to be framed!!!!!

choccypig · 30/06/2008 23:32

Most nurseries do produce these kind of things at regular intervals, so I wonder if the manager thought you were criticising in a roundabout way because they hadn't already done this for father's day ? So she felt the need to try and explain their reason for not doing these "artworks".

I can see their point about stifling creativity, but a handprint isn't really art is it? It's just a lovely thing to keep, because they are so cute and little for such a short time.

choccypig · 30/06/2008 23:32

I can see their point about stifling creativity, but a handprint isn't really art is it? It's just a lovely thing to keep, because they are so cute and little for such a short time.

colacubes · 30/06/2008 23:37

Crazy, crazy, crazy, next thing we know, our dc's will be left in bubbles all day so's not to be contaminated or touched by another, I would love a little bit of common sense at least once, p c bollocks!

magicfarawaytree · 30/06/2008 23:37

was she standing in for the manager for the the first time?
ah the sweet smell of power. . . .

MadamePlatypus · 30/06/2008 23:38

In my experience it is not possible for a child to go to a nursery without producing many, many hand and foot prints, usually accompanied at some point by a little poem about getting finger marks on the walls, but they grow up so fast, and you will miss them when they aren't small anymore.

I think your nursery sound a bit odd, but on the other hand, I think you are over estimating how messy it will be to make a hand print. Just buy some paint and a card and do it yourself.

If you told them that you wanted to make the handprint at nursery because you wanted them to clear up afterwards, they may have been a bit put out.

daisy26 · 01/07/2008 17:21

that's ridicoulous, what nursery doesn't let babies paint. whole point of babies do messy play is to experience the paint and have fun. It can be messy but its easy enough to clean up, think it's a good idea to have your babies art on paper for your dh fair enough if he/she don't like it, but there is no harm in having ago

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