Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

My child was treated unfairly in the nursery!

41 replies

Pinkyuk88 · 08/02/2025 21:35

Hi everyone just after some advice. My daughter is almost 4 and she started nursery 6 months ago and recently I started realising that she is being treated unfairly and continuously being left out of activities, which take place outside the nursery, like day trips. They always take small group of children but I've noticed that I'm seeing the same faces on the pictures from day trips. I speak to another mom who's child attends exactly the same number of days through the week as mine but her child has been already on 7 trips whereas my daughter hasn't been on any at all. The other day she asked me, if shes a naughty girl because she doesn't get to go with her friends when they go out and she always has to stay there. It absolutely broke my heart she felt the need to even ask me this. She's 3!! They have managed to make her feel like she's worth less then others in the space of 6 months.
I contacted the nursery manager and she supposed to get back to me but I'm afraid they will just try to downplay it and make it as if it was an honest mistake. I don't believe that for a second tho. I mean how can one child get to go on 7 trips and another not even 1. This screams intentional to me and now I feel like even if they try to make it right and make up for it, like all the trust is gone. I'm having some serious trust issues and anger towards them for allowing something like this to even happen. And within so many practitioners none noticed that she literally didn't leave the building the entire time she's been going? What are your thoughts on this? Am I being unreasonable but that's all that's been going through my mind. I feel so upset for her cause she doesn't understand but she knows she's being treated differently 😪

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

RedHelenB · 09/02/2025 12:54

If the manager seems surprised I doubt it's intentional.

InTheRainOnATrain · 09/02/2025 13:06

Just talk to them! Either there’s an explanation, for example they don’t take them until they’ve been there for several months to gauge behaviour and her turn hasn’t come up since she’s been eligible, they require the kids to be fully potty trained and she has accidents, they’re only taking the ones who are already… Or it’s a genuine oversight like they’re working off an old class list to do the rota and she’s not on it. Either way it’ll be resolved by a conversation and if there has been a mistake it would be reasonable to ask for a guarantee she’ll go on the next one.

Catfox1 · 09/02/2025 13:14

I’d wait until you have all the facts.If you’re right then they will have a complaints procedure.

FrannyScraps · 09/02/2025 13:14

ThatsNotMyTeen · 09/02/2025 12:28

Would they not? Excluding children without good reason is quite bad no? Are nurseries in England not subject to any kind of external regulatory control?

Show quote history

This isn't a regulatory issue though. They aren't leaving the child alone and all heading out for the day!

Octavia64 · 09/02/2025 13:19

Ofsted expect you to have used the complaints procedure first and if you haven't it'll just get sent straight back to you.

Even if you have there are very few things that would trigger an inspection and that ofsted actually care about and this is definitely not one of them.

Longma · 09/02/2025 16:04

ThatsNotMyTeen · 08/02/2025 23:47

I’d be telling them I expect my child to be on the next set of trips or I’d be calling Ofsted

Nothing to do with OFSTED!

Soontobe60 · 09/02/2025 16:12

ThatsNotMyTeen · 08/02/2025 23:47

I’d be telling them I expect my child to be on the next set of trips or I’d be calling Ofsted

Hahaha!

Soontobe60 · 09/02/2025 16:14

ThatsNotMyTeen · 09/02/2025 12:28

Would they not? Excluding children without good reason is quite bad no? Are nurseries in England not subject to any kind of external regulatory control?

Show quote history

OFSTED receive all sorts of odd complaints, and the very first thing they do is to tell the complainant to follow the complaints procedure of the setting. They do not investigate complaints themselves.

Soontobe60 · 09/02/2025 16:17

OP, where exactly are all these ‘trips’ to? Also, telling the manager that you know that one child who does the same days and hours as your DD has been on 7 trips because you’ve been checking all the photos looks a little bit weird.

saraclara · 09/02/2025 16:18

NuffSaidSam · 09/02/2025 12:27

I think it's probably an admin error. Now you've raised it with the manager they should be able to sort it out.

Yep. I had a similar situation where a permission slip has been wrongly entered. Just one of those things, and it was quickly resolved and apologised for when I questioned it.

littleluncheon · 09/02/2025 16:19

ThatsNotMyTeen · 09/02/2025 12:28

Would they not? Excluding children without good reason is quite bad no? Are nurseries in England not subject to any kind of external regulatory control?

Show quote history

Serious welfare or safeguarding concerns, yes. I Don't Like It and It's Not Fair, no.

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 09/02/2025 17:41

I think you need to approach the manager tomorrow, or next time you're in, and ask what she's found out. Don't allow her to waffle and ask for a straight answer. Surely, the staff should have some kind of rota system going and don't just randomly pick 6 children every time.

caringcarer · 09/02/2025 17:57

Soontobe60 · 09/02/2025 16:17

I don't think it looks weird at all. OP was probably just looking to see where they had been and noticed the one DC who started at the same time as her DD was in every photo. OP if wait and see what manager comes back with but if DD was not on the next trip I'd move her for them excluding her.

ByNewTurtle · 03/03/2025 14:58

Hello , I need advise please. I work in a nursery for almost a year. My son started there,he is 3 . I thought everything is alright but I’m starting to be unhappy with some things. I heard his teacher shouting his name , like shouting at them don’t know for what. And I don’t like it, was in another room, if my child and another child they argue for a toy , if my son has it and the other child said he had it first is being taken away from his hand and given to the other child)my child can’t speak yet, also punishment for not tiding up the toys he gets to stay inside for extra 10 minutes with other children not just him. But I think is a bit too much for 3 year olds to be punished like that. I would want to say something but I don’t know what to do. Please help . Many thanks .

cabbageking · 02/07/2025 21:06

Have a conversation with the nursery but many of these trips may be linked to something the children are learning or linked to the EYPP for disadvantaged children. They provide additional enrichment to qualifying children.

BallerinaFall · 03/07/2025 17:51

So as a nursery nurse.

have you definitely signed agreement for her to be off the premises ?
in a previous nursery it was the keyworkers who would plan the trips and their children went - is her keyperson doing the trips?
is it part of a forest school, or cooking school event? Again have you signed up for this?
consider your child evenly. Would she walk independently? Listen? Runaway? Be a bit mischievous? At that age we can take 1:8 or 2:16 so would she be compliant?
is she asked and she's saying no?
is it at a time she is not at nursery/ different day/slot?

Flip

1 2