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Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

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Original poster

RULES IMPOSED ON NURSERY TEACHERS... A BIT OTT? sorry rant

84 replies

MrsBigD · 06/01/2005 20:28

we had our parent interview at the nurserie dd will go to soon for 2.5h a day yesterday and it seems a very nice place, with the teacher and the nurse being absolutely charming and down to earth.

One thing that utterly baffeled me was to find out the reason why they want kids potty trained an to be able to dress themselves... they're not allowed to 'interfere' with them and are actually not even supposed to touch them at all, i.e. not even holding hands or cuddling them to comfort them (which they don't quite adhere to as kids need to be comforted)! All this is for fear of 'molestation accusations'.

IMHO this is taking being PC way to far. If I were a nursery teacher I'd probably be insulted by this rule as imho it sort of implies that everybody is a suspected potential pervert. What a great vote of confidence that is! NOT!

DD just turned 3 and she's sort of potty trained and very apt at getting her clothes off... good luck to them though once she does pe as well... getting chaned twice should make it interesting. I better invest into some clothes with velcro!

Rant over

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Original poster

MrsBigD · 07/01/2005 11:27

hi carla, I believe Montesorie is a private institution aren't they? So the kids there are lucky

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Carla · 07/01/2005 11:29

And dd2, who's now in Y2, had her hair replaited by her teacher yesterday, as it fell out. Could that be construed as molestation FGS? I love that teacher and would hate to think anything prevented her from touching any of them

Carla · 07/01/2005 11:30

MrsBigD, dds are in the state system now though.

Original poster

MrsBigD · 07/01/2005 14:54

good to hear that teachers do 'defy' the rule

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Carla · 07/01/2005 15:01

I don't disbelieve you for one minute, MrsBigD, just find it incredible that plaiting a child's hair is against the rules What a lovely thing to do, and surely things like that must reinforce the relationship between pupil/teacher?

tiredemma · 07/01/2005 15:06

my ds's nursery nurses are always cuddling the kids- my ds's even give thier "aunties' as they call them a peck on the cheek each evening when they leave. tbh, id be put out if the children were shown no affection at nursery.
i can see why the rules are there but tbh i feel that yet again its political correction gone doolally

Original poster

MrsBigD · 07/01/2005 15:15

absolutely, I think physical contact is very essential for small children. They hit the stage where they 'don't want to know' soon enough - it's called pre-teens .

I'm contemplating to suggest to the nursery that they make up a letter for parents to sign so kids can be helped on the loo if necessary

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Carla · 07/01/2005 15:20

Christ MrsBigD, missed that - they can't even be helped onto the loo???? Go ahead and pen that letter, lady!

Carla · 07/01/2005 15:21

Ooops, that didn't work, but you know what I mean

Original poster

MrsBigD · 07/01/2005 15:45

I think I will or better I mention it to the nursery teacher first, don't want to allienate her straight away

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Carla · 07/01/2005 15:47

Wouldn't worry about that Mrs ... she's just following instructions.

Original poster

MrsBigD · 07/01/2005 15:50

I know but I can be very 'direct' when writing letters well I am German and that would explain it LOL

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wild · 07/01/2005 15:55

Yes, private one. Had no idea state system was this way! go for it with the letter and good luck!

Titania · 07/01/2005 15:57

if dd has an accident at nursery then if its wee they will give her clothes to change into, if its poo they have to ring me to go there and sort her out while she stands around in it in the toilets.......

they arent allowed to even put sunblock on them in the summer........they have to go outside and burn instead.......

janeybops · 07/01/2005 15:59

just to add to this I work in a school and I am not allowed to apply sunscreen to children in the summer either!

Carla · 07/01/2005 16:05

NOOOOOOO! Just how can they call themselves a nursery? When dds were at nursery, I'd have been horrified if they hadn't changed their pooey nappy, and we were asked to provide suncream. How on earth can a 2 year old apply it themselves???

csa · 07/01/2005 17:12

the teachers should not be put in a position to have to 'defy' the rules as they should not have such a rule to start with! it is simply stupid not to be able to give kids cuddles if they need one. what kind of children will this generation be bringing up if the message is "touch is bad"? ds' nursery called this morning to tell me that he fell off his bike in the playground and had a bleeding nose. i would have been appalled if he had been left to cry (he's nearly 3) and not be comforted with a cuddle! as for potty training, it's a hit and miss with ds depending on how interesting play is at that point in time. he's in nursery full time so if i had to go in everytime he has an accident with the potty, i might as well camp outside some days. also, how hygenic is it to expect a 2.5/3 year old to be able to clean themselves after going to the potty? this is absolutely pc gone mad. i have heard about the sunscreen policy in primary schools but did not realise this madness extends to nurseries!!!

frogs · 07/01/2005 17:27

Rules like this aren't universal, though. At the nursery attached to my kids' school, where children are 3.5 up, the nursery teacher and assistants always have at least one child each on their laps during assemblies. They would expect a child to be trained but would deal with accidents. This year there is a child with SN who is still in nappies, though she has her own LSA who presumably deals with the toileting.

dd1 had an accident in Reception (some kind of tummy upset). They did phone for me to come in, but she was all changed and in the sick room by the time I got there, with the dirty clothes in a carrier bag.

The older children are quite tactile with the teachers too -- I've always thought that was a good thing. At pickup time today one of ds's friends (Y1 aged 5) was having a cuddle with the teacher as they were waiting for the parents to arrive.

Up until Y4 all dd1's class changed together in the classroom for PE supervised by the male teacher. It was only stopped because the provocative and slightly disturbed behaviour of a couple of the girls made the teacher feel uncomfortable. And this is quite a tough inner-city school, not some kind of middle-class paradise.

So not all state schools and nurseries interpret the rules in an ultra-paranoid way.

Original poster

MrsBigD · 07/01/2005 17:49

didn't know about the sunscreen. I guess it's a case of 'the kid might react and then we're liable' due to a raise in allergies. but ffs parents would know if their kid's at risk so would supply something suitable?!

It's a bit like the thing with plasters. I'm first aid trained and after new regulations not allowed to administer a plaster as it might cause an allergic reaction. I'm sure the person involved would tell me! Cause if he/she is in no condition to tell me I'm certain they'd need more than just a plaster iykwim

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Original poster

MrsBigD · 07/01/2005 17:50

p.s. I had no idea that nurseries are such a minefield!

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lockets · 07/01/2005 18:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

happymerryberries · 07/01/2005 18:15

MrsbigD. The trouble with children who have allergies is that they can react to very, very low levels of the compound. So if a teacher used product X with the first child and then used product Y with the child allergic to X, without washing her/his hands, the child could react.

Remember that all the children in the class will need sunscreen and you can have 30 in a recpetion class. Assuming that it takes a minute to 'do' a child and wash hands, and assuming the teacher has an assistant (and not all do), it will take 15 minutes to 'do' the class. And that will not leave the teacher long to go to the loo, grab a coffee and prepare for te next lesson after break . It doesn't sound like much of a job, but when you multiply it by a class the time adds up.

Original poster

MrsBigD · 07/01/2005 18:21

see your point happy...
I'll just have to slap the sc on before sending dd in

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janeybops · 07/01/2005 18:29

sorry about the confusion - I don't work in nursey but a primary school

jollymum · 07/01/2005 19:36

I have an issue with changing for PE too, but IMO the no touch rule is inhuman. One of the dads I know wanted to help with swimming, he was unemployed and basically helped all the time in school. He wasn't allowed to help with swimming because of changing children/towelling them dry and helping them into pants etc. I know hom well and would have been happy for him to "touch" my children but I can see the school have a point. HOWEVER, if the dad was police checked first, as I think should be all the helpers, this would have been sorted and the guy not made to feel like a perve. My daughter is nearly 10 and has to change in a classroom with the boys, which doesn't really bother her but some of the girls are 10 plus and are getting "developed".A couple of them have started periods already and are getting self concious about their bodies. I would like my daughter to be given the oppprtunity to change in the toilets/wherever when she feels uneasy about the boys watching (belive me, they do!)

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