Soiled nappy not changed for 5 hours

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User4374 · 09/09/2024 21:03

It really depends on your circumstances. If it means you losing your job and no other nurseries available then it's not so simple, but if that is not the case I'd find somewhere else.

WetWeasel · 09/09/2024 21:05

I would say that was an excuse and that didnt happen

I would be complaining to Head Office

hoarahloux · 09/09/2024 21:23

I've dealt with children not wanting their nappy changed before, especially new settlers. A soiled nappy is absolutely non-negotiable and they will be changed, this might take a long time with lots of praise, it can be very difficult in a busy nursery but it has to happen and the staff should be well aware of that. I've changed soiled nappies while the child is standing up, I've done it while singing Baby Shark endlessly, I've done it with a dozen trains or teddies scattered around the changing area. But it must be done.

As a very very last resort I would have called home to explain the situation.

A nappy being left soiled for so long is absolutely unacceptable. There's no excuse for it. I would honestly complain to OFSTED and as an early years practitioner I don't suggest that lightly.

hoarahloux · 09/09/2024 21:26

And you would be well within your rights to not send him back until you've received a satisfactory resolution to your complaint, at the very least. If you send him back at all. They should be releasing you from your contract for this. I can't express enough how unacceptable this is. I hope your son is okay.

hockityponktas · 09/09/2024 21:29

Oh that’s not acceptable. Even if he was annoyed/upset it is non negotiable to have a pooey nappy changed.
I would escalate to the manager/owner/head office for now and see what happens from there.

FumingTRex · 09/09/2024 21:31

Like @hoarahloux said, that is not an excuse. They knew it needed changing but didn’t even bother telling you at pick up. Im not sure from your OP whether you mean “they “, the nursery managers, will make a formal compliant or whether you will? If the managers acknowledged that it was serious i would give them another chance.

Original poster

Mummyrere · 09/09/2024 21:32

hoarahloux · 09/09/2024 21:23

I've dealt with children not wanting their nappy changed before, especially new settlers. A soiled nappy is absolutely non-negotiable and they will be changed, this might take a long time with lots of praise, it can be very difficult in a busy nursery but it has to happen and the staff should be well aware of that. I've changed soiled nappies while the child is standing up, I've done it while singing Baby Shark endlessly, I've done it with a dozen trains or teddies scattered around the changing area. But it must be done.

As a very very last resort I would have called home to explain the situation.

A nappy being left soiled for so long is absolutely unacceptable. There's no excuse for it. I would honestly complain to OFSTED and as an early years practitioner I don't suggest that lightly.

Thank you for this reply - makes me feel better than I’m not being over the top about this, I’ve been really upset. They said they are going to pull up the staff and log a formal complaint but I just don’t feel like it’s good enough. Especially on his first day!! Makes me paranoid about what else is happening I don’t know about.

OP posts:

Houseplanter · 09/09/2024 21:32

I would be fuming. I'd be making a formal complaint and would consider it a safeguarding issue.

BeachRide · 09/09/2024 21:34

I wouldn't send him in. Outrageously poor care.

Original poster

Mummyrere · 09/09/2024 21:34

FumingTRex · 09/09/2024 21:31

Like @hoarahloux said, that is not an excuse. They knew it needed changing but didn’t even bother telling you at pick up. Im not sure from your OP whether you mean “they “, the nursery managers, will make a formal compliant or whether you will? If the managers acknowledged that it was serious i would give them another chance.

The nursery said they are going to log a formal complaint and talk to the staff and tell me what happens. That’s what I thought - they didn’t even tell me at pick up, which makes me feel like it was a lie that they even tried

OP posts:

CherryMaple · 09/09/2024 21:37

This happened to my DD. She was screaming and screaming because she was so sore. It was appalling. She never went back to the nursery because I didn’t feel it was safe.

A good nursery would have processes in place to make this impossible. Even if you make a formal complaint, and they say all the right things, how can you have any confidence in the care they provide? This is a massive red flag.

I wish I had spoken to Ofsted at the time as it is potentially an indicator that the care is poor in other areas too.

Farting · 09/09/2024 21:37

Mummyrere · 09/09/2024 21:01

Hi there - my 2 and a half year old son started nursery today. He had two settling in days last week. This morning was his first morning from 8-1. When I picked him up he was very upset, as soon as I got home he said “nappy off” and laid down. When I changed his nappy it was caked with dried on poo. All of his bum, testicles etc were red raw and very sore. It was the same nappy I sent him in with. He’s been saying ouch today and I’ve smothered him in sudocreme. Obviously I’m very angry and emailed the nursery which said they was very shocked, when they asked the nursery team they said they had tried to change his nappy but he was annoyed and didn’t want them to. Which isn’t an excuse and they will make a formal complaint. I really feel upset at the first time leaving my son somewhere and this happens to him and the thought of him being uncomfortable and in pain. He’s meant to be in tomorrow and I’m crying this evening at the thought of him going in. Do I give another chance or is this something big enough to pull him out?

5 hours is terrible. We have 2 dc’s under 2 and they’re a handful but the nappies are obvious.y full when they’re full and they get changed by one of us instantly.

if they’re not changed obv. It’s a red stingy arse.

id be really really fucked off if either was in daycare and the nappy hadn’t been changed. Dragging the staff out by their hair type fucked off.

id have to pull them out.

LikeWeUsedToBe · 09/09/2024 21:53

I work in early years and soils nappy is non negotiable. There is a big thing about consent so possibly that's where they are coming from but they should have found a way to change it. As a pp said you find yourself doing all sorts or weird and wonderful things the get unhappy new starters nappy changed but we get it done.

I have an autistic son who can be very challenging and would have extreme meltdowns when upset was hard to change. I used to get called to collect him if he wouldn't let them change him. This was in a two hour session- they did a risk assessment and came to me and said a child can't be left soiled even if mum in due in an hour so he will be sent home.

If it won't cost you your job I wouldn't send him back. If you have to work then maybe give them another chance. They are getting pulled up on it so it's not likely to happen again. But I share your worry. If they are letting a child sit soiled for hours on end what else do they do

Original poster

Mummyrere · 09/09/2024 21:59

I’m not yet working - my job fell through so was working on finding work this month but was starting my son in nursery to get him used to it before I put him in for longer days so it’s not an urgency to take him out but I really just didn’t want to keep changing his routine up. But the more I hear from people and from my own gut feeling it really doesn’t feel right to send him in. My partners not happy and wants to have a face to face meeting with them so may just not send him in tomorrow and then see how that meeting goes.

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Rubyandscarlett · 09/09/2024 22:03

This is shocking op your poor baby

Sugargliderwombat · 09/09/2024 22:04

They didn't notice or they would have said at pick up or called you to check if you were happy for them to do it no matter how upset he got.

They just didn't notice and didn't bother to check. I couldn't send him back. Poor thing ( and poor you). Have you looked at childminders instead?

Sugargliderwombat · 09/09/2024 22:06

I just think the level of care must be so so low, to not even near pick up time just have a quick check.

Alifemadelessordinary · 09/09/2024 22:06

Mummyrere · 09/09/2024 21:59

I’m not yet working - my job fell through so was working on finding work this month but was starting my son in nursery to get him used to it before I put him in for longer days so it’s not an urgency to take him out but I really just didn’t want to keep changing his routine up. But the more I hear from people and from my own gut feeling it really doesn’t feel right to send him in. My partners not happy and wants to have a face to face meeting with them so may just not send him in tomorrow and then see how that meeting goes.

A little change in routine won't be detrimental. Potential neglect would be.
Unless my job and therefore home was at risk, there is no way in the world I'd be sending him back.
Don't do it OP. Trust your gut and pull him out. They don't deserve a second chance with your baby.

WhatILoved · 09/09/2024 22:09

I am a childminder and it's totally normal for new settlers to complain/have tantrums about nappy changes. Not changing them is completely unacceptable though. I'm alone and still manage to do it even if a child is really kicking off. There must have been a bad smell all day too. Grim.

Original poster

Mummyrere · 09/09/2024 22:24

Thank you everyone, you’re right and my gut is screaming not to take him back, he’s not going in tomorrow and I’m going to have a meeting with them too because I am really upset about it I haven’t stopped crying all evening thinking about my poor baby not being looked after properly. He cried his eyes out when I came to pick him up which I thought was just being overwhelmed at seeing me but starts me thinking more about what else he’s potentially crying at. Feel awful for leaving him for the first time (besides family) with someone who is not taking care of him properly, it’s really upsetting to think of.

OP posts:

babasaclover · 09/09/2024 22:27

Nursery we used changed nappy as needed but also every 2 hours whether needed or not or. All written down in her book times and whether wee / poo. It's basic care and shocking they did this to him. Pull him out and properly complain up the chain so it doesn't happen to another child. Disgraceful

Cantgetausername87 · 09/09/2024 22:33

Yeah it's not easy to say "withdraw him" but if you can I absolutely would! There's no excuse for it. They should have called you after 2 hours (that's when my sons nursery changes nappies) and possibly even asked you to come in.
The managers are complacent in this too, as you would have expected them to be checking in on the new children, and a staff member to raise it as a concern.
I would not trust them, and along with a complaint I would let OFSTED know, along with any associations they're with. I'm so sorry this has happened, I would also do everything you can to get the word out in your community- because that is an accident waiting to happen.

hoarahloux · 09/09/2024 22:51

Mummyrere · 09/09/2024 22:24

Thank you everyone, you’re right and my gut is screaming not to take him back, he’s not going in tomorrow and I’m going to have a meeting with them too because I am really upset about it I haven’t stopped crying all evening thinking about my poor baby not being looked after properly. He cried his eyes out when I came to pick him up which I thought was just being overwhelmed at seeing me but starts me thinking more about what else he’s potentially crying at. Feel awful for leaving him for the first time (besides family) with someone who is not taking care of him properly, it’s really upsetting to think of.

You're absolutely doing the right thing to protect your son.

At the meeting, if you remove him from this setting please make sure they waive any and all charges. They neglected him to the point of causing him pain. Document the soreness as best you can as proof (including photographs, obviously bearing your son's dignity in mind) and write everything down right now while it's still fresh in your mind.

The more I think about this the more upset I am for you. I can't believe that a setting would be this neglectful.

ButterAsADip · 09/09/2024 22:55

That’s horrendous. FIL did that to DS1 once, he was red for days and had to have prescribed cream. I am raging thinking about it now!! Absolute cop out from the nursery - they’re professional child carers, they should be able to change a reluctant child’s nappy!

Nanny31 · 09/09/2024 23:05

NOT acceptable! Poor guy!
Don't send your child to the nursery.