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DD went for her trial morning at nursery this morning, i feel bad advice needed for tomorrow....

32 replies

ScoobyDoo · 14/04/2008 14:30

DD went for 2 hours, first time she has really been away from me, she was fine when she got there, i stayed for a little & then told her i was going, gave her & kiss & a cuddle & said bye bye.

I then returned 2 hours later, they said the last half hour she had been upset & asking for mummy i walked in & she was sitting on one of the staffs lap really sad, she saw me lept of her lap & ran towards me shouting mummy mummy really loud & she burst into tears, it tore my heart in to, i think she honetly thought i was not going to return & it was like utter relief from her to see me.

She then would not let me out of her site & held me very tight.

I now know that when tomorrow morning comes it is going to be very very hard & again is going to break my heart, she is also ment to be going for 4hrs tomorrow.

What can i do to help her? should i leave her for the 4 hours? i must say this is really hard & is now making me feel very bad.

Any advice welcome, dd is 2.3 by the way

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WanderingTrolley · 16/04/2008 13:49

Oh dear - I expect you're picking her about about now. I hope she was much happier when you collected her.

I think children tend not to be consistent (er, please ignore the paradox there) so I would say you can expect her to be happier some mornings than others. Ditto when you're picking her up.

I really think you're doing the right thing by keeping on walking - though I can't imagine how horrid that must be for you ime the quicker the goodbyes, the sooner she will settle in. Long protracted goodbyes just mean everyone's upset longer, sadly.

The truly crap thing is that you only get to see her upset when you're leaving. This really isn't representative of how children are once mum/dad has left ime, so it's such a shame that that's how you leave her - if she were like that all morning every morning, the nursery would tell you.

I think you should start a support thread for new nursery starters - Littlelapin and I think Tutter have recently started their dcs at nursery/playgroup, though I'm not sure if Tutter's ds is still there.

She will get used to it, and she will start to enjoy it. Please revisit this thread when she is moaning because it's Saturday and there's no nursery today

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PuppyDogTails · 16/04/2008 13:54

Me too - DS has just had his second 2 hour session today. I was a gibbering wreck because he is BLWed and a nightmare to get to sleep and he went for lunch and nap! It appears he polished off all the food they gave him, fell asleep in his highchair, they transferred him to a bed where he slept for an hour . He's going for a full day tomorrow.

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midnightexpress · 16/04/2008 14:05

Another one with a ds starting this week (my second in the same nursery, so a bit tougher this time around, but not a good first session today ).

One thing no-one has mentioned, you can call them up and ask how she's getting on of course. I did that a couple of times with ds1 when he started and when he moved up to a different room and was a bit unsettled. Of course, two mins after I left he was full of beans and raring to go. I suspect ds2 may be a slightly harder nut to crack...

I'll follow WT's advice and go and start a support thread for us all.

Hope your dd had a good time today.

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Tutter · 16/04/2008 14:05

scooby

oh, poor you

it is vile, isn't it?

i shall link to my thread in a sec, but let me first say that ds1 now loves going to nursery

when dh asked him (on a sunday) what he wanted to do later he repolied "school"

ok, off to find thread...

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Tutter · 16/04/2008 14:11

here is how distraught i was less than a month ago

this was a week later

no tears at all since then

no-one can tell you what is right for your child. but i can tell you that ds1 got over the tears very quickly. he's very sensitive and had rarely spent time away from me before

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midnightexpress · 16/04/2008 14:20

Shiny new support thread here.

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ScoobyDoo · 16/04/2008 20:39

Aw thanks, tutter looking at your threads is great i hope dd is where your ds is now & enjoying nursery.

Well i picked her up & she was so glad to see me, her eyes & face just light up when i walk in & she runs for me with big hugs & kisses.

They said she literally cried for 2 minutes & was so happy the rest of the time.

I do have to say that since she has been going to nursery she is much happier & so am i, i think she was bored & very frustrated being at home which wore me out, even dp has said she is so much happier, i think the interaction with lots of other children is doing her wonders.

She also has one of the staff as her "key worker" the girl is lovely & dd now looks for her when i am leaving etc, she will gradually get used to her & feel safe, i think she is half way there already.

She now does not go back till tuesday so i am just hoping that this break won't affect her to much as i can't really afford to pay for any more days.

I was ment to be starting work next week but my CRB check is not back so am going to be around next week too, which is good really as i wanted dd settled first properly

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