I'm due to start work soon after mat leave.
Ex has a day off midweek and has been visiting baby that day to take him to park or soft play etc. for 3 hours - never has done a full day - dont feel happy with him in my home (emotional
Abuse bullying etc). He often cancels or is late which is annoying but manageable when I'm free on mat leave. but not good enough when I'm at work. A couple of months ago I raised a concern that he hasn't done long enough days and is very unreliable and I will need to use nursery when I'm at work on this day if things don't improve. Nothing has changed and so I have told him we will need to do contact on another day as I will need to use reliable Childcare when I am back at work or my livelihood is at risk . Today I have got a letter from a lawyer saying I must keep the status quo and allow my ex to do the child care all day (which he has never done before) on that day and I must not put baby in nursery on this day. She assures me if ex is ill he'll arrange an alternative (who? A stranger?)
Ex and I split when pregnant and he has no child care experience or sensible relatives to help - he also doesn't have parental responsibility.
Am I able to just say no to this? Do I have to give reasons and evidence? I will offer contact on another day when I don't have to be at work and need reliable childcare? (It's not possible for me to swap days).