1 year old starting nursery - I’m a nervous mess

[Danani]

My little girl will be 1 in August and she is starting nursery full time as I’m going back to work.
Her dad and I both work full time from
home, so when I say full time, I don’t necessarily mean 8 am - 6 pm. I’m sure there will be later drop offs or earlier pickups or on days where schedules allow she may stay home too. But, she will be going basically daily.
We will be doing settling sessions starting mid July, the nursery is a 10 min walk away and the staff have been really friendly and accommodating BUT I can’t help but worry about how and if she’ll adjust.
We’ve been together 24/7 since she was born; we don’t live near family so really it’s me and DH that look after her. I’ve been taking her to different baby groups and baby sensory since she turned 5 months old though, so she (and I) can socialize with other people and introduce some different environments that are not home. But of course those are only 1 h long and we’re together.
I’m just worried if she will adjust to going to nursery, if she’ll like it, if she’ll cry. And apart from that my biggest worry is sleep. She is a very very curious and active lady and I cannot wrap my head around how sleep will happen in a bright lit and noisy room full of other babies, adults, toys…I am petrified of her not being to get any rest during the day and then being an overtired mess at night…
She falls asleep really quickly at home but does take shorter naps, so still needs 3 at the moment, so I imagine will need 2 by the time she starts. And I always put her in her room where it’s nice and dark and quiet (with some white noise on). She also sleeps well in the baby carrier or pram and doesn’t particularly care about noise
anybody got any advice or words of encouragement?

It's nice when people say it's complete magic when getting the children down to sleep in nursery. I work In a nursery and honestly sleep time is the easiest part there all ready for it after a fun morning and a full belly from lunch most of the babies go straight off to sleep as soon as you put them down a couple need rocking but doesn't take more than 5 mins before there asleep. They adjust to the routine quickly an seem to know its sleep after dinner.

If she's bright and curious she'll probably love nursery, all that new stuff to explore! My son started at 11 months and honestly barely noticed I'd gone - he's always loved nursery and the only tears we had were when he was coming down with something, and when he was a bit older and having problems with one of the other kids. I'm so upset he's leaving soon to go to school!

The illness is hard though, you can expect a new bug every two weeks at first. Sometimes less 😬 Make sure you and your husband take it in turns to take time off if necessary.

Thank you all so much for adding in your experiences, please keep ‘em coming! It is so so so encouraging to read, literally some
of your stories make me want to cry with relief. My heart is very anxious at the minute with this new thing on the horizon but I truly hope it’s good for all of us, and everyone not only survives it but thrives!
The illness I don’t know how to prepare for, everyone is warning me about it, I guess it’s just part of the deal unfortunately…definitely not looking forward to that. Also all my friends told me that when the kid gets ill, inevitably everyone in the house gets ill, so that sounds like a fun merry go round! 😬😬😬

The relentlessness of bugs is really hard. It helps if your manager is understanding, mine is amazing and has just always been fine about bugs and DD being sent home. It does get better though. She’s been in for 9 months now and it’s settled down a bit now, I expect it to pick up a bit in autumn but not as bad as last year. I also figure they have to come down with all the bugs at some point so you might as well get it out of the way rather than waiting until school.

Everyone in the house does also get it. I’d some frozen meals in for everyone, an emergency pack of painkillers for you and calpol and an emergency pack of biscuits. The house is trashed after a bug that knocks you all out but you do survive.

Oh god yes, always have stocks of Calpol and infant Nurofen, a reliable thermometer, paracetamol and ibuprofen for you, and Dioralyte type sachets. If you and your husband are ill it's horrible having to decide who goes out to get supplies.

@Danani I could have written that first post myself.

My little one is 14months, starting full time in July. We also did baby sensory classes from her being 6 weeks old and don't have family that close so 95% of her time is spent mainly with me and her dad when not at work. She looks to me for everything, comfort and safety. She tends not to sleep in the buggy but we sleep trained at 7 months and she now settles her self once put in the cot.

We've had 2 settle in days so far both 1 hr. First one I left her for 15 minutes the second I left her for the full hour. She went in fine and straight to play. Interacting with other kids etc. Although both times I've returned to collect her she's been sobbing, like almost hyperventilating sobbing which is hard. But I'm reminding myself its a new environment with brand new adults trying to care for her and like the sleep training she will get used to it eventually. My go to is always 'this will never work' but I'm not doing that this time. I have faith in my little super star to adapt in time. I've read it can take up to 4 weeks on average for them to settle in so 🤞

Looking forward to the day she runs in and doesn't give me a second thought

It takes them a few weeks to settle completely because they need to learn the new adults can be trusted and make a bond with at least one of them.

We would stick to your sleep times but these may well naturally alter to home in the different environment over a few weeks. Make sure they have a familiar comfort object that might help them associate it with sleep time as this really helps.

I wouldn't come into nursery during the session as that makes two goodbye times in the day and can be unsettling for them but most nurseries will welcome a phone call to see if they are OK.

It’s me again.

The time has flown by and my little girl is due to begin her settling sessions in a weeks time!

I felt really reassured reading all your responses but have since read some horror stories on other forums and my anxiety is back again and I am stressing out so much. I have so many questions:

1. sleep : my LG is used to falling asleep on the bottle but also sometimes being rocked - will they do that for her? What happens in a few weeks time when she’s 1 and I need to start moving her away from formula and the bottle??? She currently has two naps - around 9 am and at around 2 pm. The nursery’s nap time is 12-2. How would this work?? They said they’ll try to stick to her schedule but Even if they put her down for nap 1, she won’t be tired again this soon after to be able to sleep again at 12! If they don’t put her down for nap 1, she will be suuuper overtired (she wakes up between 5.30 and 6 am!!).
2. Food : my LG is spoon-fed purées. She is not great yet with finger foods or able to feed herself. Would they do that for her?? Would they encourage her to feed herself and to eat more finger foods?
3. Water : she drinks water out of her Munchkin cup and does it really well all on her own. Will I just send her in with her cup? Will they offer it to her throughout the day??

The general anxiety of the unknown and how she’ll cope and how I’ll cope is also stressing me out. I dread her being upset and crying at drop off. I dread her not getting enough sleep or not liking the food or not being able to eat what they provide her…It also doesn’t help that as a child I hated going to nursery till the very last day. I just don’t want her to feel like that.

We visited the nursery 3 times, spoke with multiple carers/director/supervisor and got
a really good feeling about it. It also had positive reviews online and feels rather small and homey. They assured us we’ll be updated daily via Blossom app with info and photos; and can always call if we want to check in; and they’ll always call us if she is really upset and unsettled.

and yet…my heart is so full worry about this. My emotions are all over the place and I just feel so teary just thinking about it.

If this resonates with someone and you’ve gone through it and have something encouraging to offer, I shall be so very grateful ❤️

My one year old (15month) had her first full week at nursery just now. I've been so surprised at how well she has done with eating in just one week. She's even eating better at home.

Napping is an issue. She normally has 2 naps but she's only been sleeping up to 45 mins a day at nursery so she has been tired and if she's home early enough I give her another nap. It's an adjustment for them they will settle. My little one gets put down in her cot and sends herself to sleep but I think at nursery they cuddle her to sleep so I don't think holding her will be an issue.

It is hard when they cry at drop off. As hard as it is its best to limit your time there at drop off.hand them over and make a hasty exit otherwise they will get more upset wanting you. Twice my little ones gone off with just a whimper every other time she has cried but she generally settles quickly after I leave.

Best of luck this week, it's hard at first but little one will love it

She’ll find her own routine at nursery. It doesn’t matter what you do at home, you can continue doing that but she will find her own way at nursery. They’ll rock her to sleep if needed but she might not need it. Nurseries are magic and will get any baby to sleep. The sleep will be different to at home. For some of my friends their little ones sleep loads at nursery and less at home. For mine, she sleeps less at nursery but she still sleeps. If she’s one, she’ll probably be dropping the morning nap soon anyway.

They will feed her purées and they’ll encourage her to eat finger food. She’ll probably naturally do it as she sees the others doing it.

They probably have their own cups but ours said if she had a bottle or could only get on with a specific cup that we could take it in but she coped with the nursery cup really well.

She might cry at drop off but she’s also going to pick up on your emotions. You’ve found a homey, safe place for her. And nursery is so fun for them. Everything is at their height, it’s designed to encourage them to learn through play. Everything is safe and they have people who will sing, dance, play and read with them all day rather than being bogged down by housework and cooking.

My daughter doesn’t even look back when I drop her at nursery, she loves it. We have tantrums when we can’t go to nursery. She has learnt so much and it’s amazing to see how she’s growing. She can use an open cup. I haven’t done that, nursery has. This bit at the moment is the worst bit, it’s the unknown.

@Pinkbumbles , @TipsySquirrel thank you! ❤️❤️❤️ you’ve made me see the light again. Thank you for reading my long and anxious post and addressing each and every point and sharing your own experiences and tips. I so appreciate it. Again. ❤️

@Danani I completely agree with everything that @TipsySquirrel has said.

Water - My DS’s nursery they have to bring in their own cups - literally every child in my son’s class has a munchkin 360 - make sure it’s labelled well.

Sleep - Your DD will be tired after nursery, my son has been going nearly a year now and he’s always exhausted on a Monday. They adapt so quickly though. I literally don’t understand how they manage to get babies down for a nap in the same room. It’s some weird magic. We followed nursery’s routine, as it’s amazing how much children are led by others.

Food - my DS was mostly on purée food when he started. They will do what you want but as with the sleep, if they see others doing something they will also want to. DS will eat all the veggies at nursery. At home, I’m lucky if even tries them. DS’s nursery takes babies from 3 months so they definitely have experience in going through all the stages. Does yours do similar?

Just remember that the nursery have been doing this a while! They will have seen it all before and know what they are doing.

As I said in my previous post, there will be tears at drop off and your DD will most likely cling to start with but once they settle, it’s so rewarding seeing them toddle off on their own. It probably won’t be seamless - even now, my DS (who loves nursery) will have a moment (although soon as they get breakfast out he’s absolutely fine). I dropped him off the other day, and for some reason he was super upset. I got an update straight away saying he’d settled. Also, you can always call/they will call if it’s bad.

It’s a leap of faith but honestly - it’s the best thing for our DS and I’m a better parent because of him being there.

Thank you @Bunny2021 ❤️

Again, massively reassuring to read! Thanks so much for replying and sharing! And yes, our nursery takes babies from 3 months Of age too.

Logically, I know that they will manage, it’s their job, they’ve seen it all and have all sorts of tricks and tactics, etc. I believe that my little girl will love it (eventually), she is very active and curious busybody and loves people (adults and children alike!). I trust our judgement and decision to send her. I feel very lucky that we can afford to do it and full time at that. I know I won’t be able to offer her even half of everything she’ll get to do there at home, if she was to stay at home with me.
Yet, emotionally, and irrationally it’s constantly on my mind. I think my anxiety = the unknown + underestimating our ability to cope with it. I am the type of person who worries and tends to overthink especially when something new and daunting is about to happen, so I almost want to fast-forward and for the waiting and wondering to end…

On a practical note, how do I label everything (clothes, cups, etc)? Do I just get some stickers off Amazon? What are people doing?

@Danani i totally understand. I have anxiety and massively overthink everything - I was terrified about something happening etc but you’ve got to remind yourself that they are professionals and they know what they’re doing.

label everything - clothing/bedding/cups. I got sticky labels and also a personalised stamp for clothes from Amazon.

On the subject of clothing - don’t put her in things that are your favourites. We now have a drawer of clothes that are nursery only due to food/paint etc. they have bibs and coveralls but still somehow end up covered in god knows what!

Thanks @Bunny2021 ! 🫶🏼

By the way, a question to all, did nighttime sleep become better or worse after your little ones started nursery?

I am hoping and praying that she will get nice and tired, and also who knows if and how long she’ll nap, so I’m dreaming of her going down easy and sleeping through the night like little log 😄 Is that wishful thinking???

@Danani my little one didn't really change. She was always a good night sleeper though. She's 2 weeks in and still hasn't managed to get the grasp of naps, about 35-45 minutes a day is all she's getting but to be fair she is grasping now when all the other kids go to lie down for naps she does too so maybe she will get the hang of it soon. She is very tired at night time though so it's possible you'll get better nighttime sleep. Depends how baby copes being overly tired

@Danani I realise this is an old post, but how did nursery go in the end? I’m in the same boat as you, just a year later…

@CariadBB hi! Sorry for the late reply just seen this!

it went really well!!! I honestly shouldn’t have worried. My LO LOVES nursery. Settled fully within 2 weeks. The staff are magical!

what we did was we started 5 days right away as that’s what we were going to do anyway but her very first week was 5 half days. The second week was the full days. I think that helped her figure it out quickly and get into the new routine. They managed to get her to sleep on day 1! By the 3rd or 4th week they were getting her to nap without a bottle!! Her development absolutely accelerated, I was worried about the stress of this new endeavour and that she might regress but that never happened for us. If anything she got even more confident and independent. It’s honestly been brilliant !!!

good luck and if you have any other questions- happy to help! X

I'm so pleased and this will be such a help to other nervous parents in the same position

But - what about those infamous bugs or have you been lucky?

Oh no; we’ve had viruses and bugs since October. I wish I was exaggerating. But only one time she was unwell for a few days and needed to stay home, other than that it’s been just your standard sniffles / coughs.