Should I send my toddler to preschool nursery?

[Jbirds]

Hi,

I’m after some advice. I’m a stay at home mum and have just recently filled out the application to send my DS to preschool/nursery. He is currently 3 years old. I am not sure whether I want to actually send him though. I am a teacher, so I monitor all his learning at home and we try to do as many learning activities as possible all through play. I also keep a record of all the observations that we make at home, so I’m aware that he is learning. Does he need to go to an extra educational setting at only 3 years old? He is quite a shy child, but this may be due to the fact that he is quite young still and partly due to his personality. I also haven’t been blown away by any of the settings that we have visited or any of the key workers that he has been given.

So, should I send him or keep him home a little longer? And if I do send him, should I just keep looking for a setting that I feel happier with? Has anyone keep their child home until reception and how did they handle the transition to school?

TIA to anyone who responds.

Does he go to any groups to socialise?

I think it's a bit intense that you record his education at home. He's 3.

If he's shy I'd say he does need something before reception so it isn't a huge shock to deal with long days 5 days a week. Why not do mornings for 3 days and build up his time there?

The main point of nursery is the social skills like playing with others, waiting their turn, following instructions etc.

Does he get these opportunities at home? Toddler groups, classes etc?

I thin social skills learnt at nursery are so important, and learning to happily be away from you

Does the school he attends have a nursery?
DD1 learnt phonics and blending at school nursery/lockdown as did her peers.

Research shows nursery environments from 2-3 years can be very beneficial for social and language development. Send him

I'm a reception teacher and have found, usually but of course not all of the time, that children who start reception with no prior experience of any sort of nursery setting are quite overwhelmed by the whole thing. It's a big enough change as it is going from nursery to reception never mind going from home to reception. I'd keep looking until you find somewhere you like and maybe only start with a couple of mornings. You can build up to more when you both feel ready.

S1's nursery report said he initially "found aspects of social play difficult, such as sharing and taking turns, but now his shared play is much more caring and considerate"

We also did a lot of learning through play activities at home (though I never got round to recording it ) but that was something I simply couldn't offer.

He's not a toddler at 3. Of course you don't need to send him but he might enjoy it. It also will put him in good stead from Reception class.

I can't believe you are a teacher and you are asking that question ? How will he learn to socialise and make friends share toys etc without preschool. Seriously he should have gone before 3. And form filling and progress tracking your child is way over the top.

For me it’s no so much the learning stuff, it’s getting used to spending time without his mum/other family member that’s quite important.

And the general setting of being with a group of other children/ structured activities/ turn taking etc.

Personally I would. I'm a SAHM and both of mine go. I'm not a teacher so I'm keen that they learn but also it gives them time without me to find their independence, socialise with other children and learn how to behave in a group setting. They are very happy in their settings and always go in and out smiling.
I think school will be a bit of a shock without pre-school as it's much more gentle and helps them understand the expectations of school.

I don’t think keeping a record of his observations means form filling it could be as simple as a video or photo.

I also think plenty of children manage to be perfectly well adjusted, able to share and make friends. Almost as if a loving parent can do that well. Amazing.

With that being said, I think it’s probably a good thing. Fifteen hours a week isn’t much and gives you a bit of peace too!

Nursery/preschool are useful for developing independence and social skills. It's helpful if children are confident articulating their needs to the adults around them (for instance, if they're thirsty or need the toilet), can follow simple instructions and are used to interacting with other children before they start school. So I'd consider whether preschool might help your DC with these skills or whether you're developing them adequately at home.

I would and have purely for the socialisation aspect and so that when she does go to school she doesn't find it completely overwhelming.

Yes I agree will lots of those comments. Thanks for the advice everyone. I agree that the social side of it is so important. He does go to classes ( we do art classes and a sports class too). But I agree that spending time away from family would be beneficial for him.

When I say keeping a record of observations, I mean I take pictures of our play activities and send them to grandparents and family members because they absolutely love to see them. We also have a group of friends who share fun games that they’ve done with their children, which we all get inspired by. Lots of it takes place out in the natural world.

Thanks again to all the people who replied with helpful advice on the thread. It’s unfortunate that some parents can be so judgemental and cruel with their comments, especially when someone is seeking advice in order to help their child and the situation that they’re in.

My dd just started pre school (3 hrs in the mornings) in September about a month before her third birthday. I wasn’t sure about starting her, but I’m really glad I did. We don’t know anybody with kids her age (2 teenage cousins on dh side, none on mine), so it was the best way to get her socialising regularly. So far, it’s not really working out as we hoped but I’m really glad I decided to do it. She’ll do two years in preschool and she’ll definitely need it to be ready for school. Not for any of the class work stuff but just being used to the environment and to understand what’s coming. She’s learning to be separated from me (I’m a sahm and we’d barely been apart since she was born), to communicate with another adult that’s not related/ closely connected to her, to be part of a group, to get along with the other kids and to do things independently like eating her packed lunch, using the toilet and just basic stuff like taking turns, sharing toys etc.
It was hard sending her off at first but overall I’m glad. Where I’m from, most children have a couple of years in preschool so I’m glad I’m not throwing dd in at the deep end.
I really don’t think you can prepare them at home the same way and there’s an awful lot of benefits to it.

If you are outdoors sort of family, is there a Forest School nearby? 2 or 3 mornings of that a week could be a good balance.

Most people take pictures of their kids but wouldn't call it keeping a record of learning. The phraseology implied something different. Does he ever go anywhere without you? I think some time developing away from parents is important. This can be with grandparents/close friends etc.