Teacher slapped my kid

[NarminM]

Hi! My DS has been going to a nursery for a year now and he loved it. Until recently. He started to tell he doesn’t like one of the teachers. I didn’t pay much attention, thought it’s fine, he doesn’t have to like everyone. You always have most and least favourite teachers. But the situation started to get worse, he started to tell he is scared of her. Then he told she is always angry with him. I still thought he was imagining things, didn’t want to accuse anyone but yesterday he told she even slapped him once😳 I talked to his friend’s mom, she asked her son and he confirmed something really happened there. I have no idea how should I act now. I am going to talk with his key worker tomorrow for sure, but should I go further to the head teacher and complain or what?

Why not? My DS was at nursery at 4.5.

@NarminM I'd be asking for a meeting with the head and refusing to send him in until I had one.

As you're in Scotland depending on which local authority you are in the Nursery Manager may not be the Head Teacher of the Primary School but one of the senior practitioners. The managers name will be on the registration certificate which should be displayed or school HT will know.

I would also contact the Care Inspectorate and log a complaint...any physical interaction like that needs full investigation.

But not in September in England. This is Scotland, apparently, so could be 4 and a half. But children of that age aren’t particularly reliable with their version of events, tbh. Definitely needs investigating though.

Totally forgot its September! Apologies.

Definitely ask to speak to head and go from there. Try not to jump to conclusions. One of our teachers had a similar thing and turned out she had hit the child on the head .... child missed out it was with a piece of paper!

Yes op you should inform the police it is an assault.

I would speak to the headteacher and explain , unusual for a nursery teacher to be alone with a child though for this reason i thought ?
Maybe thats not the case
But regardless something is wrong at the very least he clashes at worst his story is true
But it 100% needs addressing and looking into

@NarminM Yes, head teacher then. I would want to see them asap.

Although there is a fine line. Ds took against someone at our nursery, and said she'd been mean to him, and it was difficult to pick it apart. It did seem to be because she woke him up once, and it scared him, because of her appearance. Quite vibrant hair colourings, tattoos, and facial piercings. I have a feeling that's what it was really about.

I don't think she actually did anything, but you know your child. I have to say though - in this case, his attitude to nursery changed. And even though I'm sure nothing happened, I wasn't sure of it enough not to take dc out.

i dunno. My wee one took really against a nursery worker because she (rightfully) got a telling off for carrying on in the bathroom.

she came out with all sorts of shite like “she hit me with a hammer”. All complete nonsense because she was angry and upset at having been told off.

Does the nursery have cameras? SIL who works in a nursery was accused by a child of slapping her across the face and the parent came into nursery all guns blazing and threatening legal action 🤪. CCTV footage showed no evidence and SIL is never alone with the children in any case.

I can't remember exactly what it was now, but ds woke up once in a foul mood because I'd done this, that and the other. In a dream.

And my nephew comes out with some terrifically tall tales. But I'd still want to get to the bottom of it.

The teacher is question needs to be referred to the Teacher's Regulation Agency if this is true.

Have you found out what actually happened @NarminM

If true, it's assault, and a police matter.

4 year olds have a miraculous talent for manipulating the truth. Could this 'slap' have actually been a well earned verbal blocking for doing something wrong? If not, the teacher should quite rightly be disciplined, but you are going to look like a real fool if you go in all guns blazing accusing her of physical abuse if you don't know it happened.

Approach with caution and calm.

I would raise it with the headteacher. But not in a "this definitely happened" way.

I say this from experience.

DD at 4 did not like that their FS2 teacher had not allowed them to continue an activity. They came home and said they didn't like the teacher (who they'd previously liked).

A few days after, DD tells me that the teacher had hit her hard. One of her little friends said yes, teacher did.

Of course, I'm horrified. Until I found out that actually, DD was wrong, the teacher had moved her arm to close a door just as DD walked in the way and there was the briefest brush of her as the teacher moved her arm away.

So what to kids can seem like a proper violent incident is actually something quite the opposite, and can also stem from feeling negatively towards the teacher as well

I'm not saying it definitely didn't happen here, not all adults are saints around children, but tread carefully and ask if there was any such actual incident of an adult, I would assume they were in there with other staff?

Have you googled? @JingsMahBucket
It looks like corporal punishment is legal in 19 states.

In schools

In the unlikely event there is CCTV, what can you do with it? Watch days and days of footage until you find what you're looking for? They wouldn't give it to you anyway; they can't hand over footage of other people's children and it would be quite impractical to blur them all out.

Definitely ask….

I was pulled into nursery once as my son was telling them I was getting him into a corner and kicking him repeatedly. Obviously they had to discuss this with me but then I proceeded to tell them that he had been telling me his nursery key worker had been kicking him over and over again in the corner of the room.

He is 13 now, still has an elaborate imagination 🤦‍♀️.

Definitely speak to the teachers and investigate. But I would be highly sceptical that this happened. In a classroom environment or a nursery, there is always at least one other adult present, and the odds that an adult lost control enough to slap a 4yo without it becoming a significant incident that you would have been told of are... low.

I'm sure you're very worried about your boy, I would be too. But children sometimes either elaborate wildly what has happened, sometimes can't find the 'right' words to describe what they're feeling, and sometimes, just make stuff up if they think they're going to be some attention from it.

Definitely raise it with school, but be prepared that the 'slap' was a teach sharply removing his hand from something he shouldn't be touching, and that he's 'scared' to go to school now because he was told off for doing something he shouldn't. Children often have very strong feelings towards adults that do something they like, or don't like.

But proceed with caution.

Technically correct, but misleading. In the states that haven't passed a law against since the relevant supreme court decision, it's commonly banned by the school district (local authority). In South Caolina, for example, there's no state law against it but every school district has prohibited it.

Christ, you teach children?

You're in the wrong job