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Is this normal/am I being too precious?

35 replies

AngelDelight28 · 20/07/2021 22:56

DD (aged 1) has recently started nursery and is settling in well, I'm told. I get a good vibe about the nursery overall and the staff seem nice but there are a couple of things bothering me.

It's rarely the same person collecting and handing DD back (due to Covid we have to stand outside and a staff member comes out to take DD in or hand her back at the end of the day). We've had maybe 5 or 6 different people in just a few weeks. This must be really confusing for DD and she gets distressed at drop offs and is often brought out crying too (but I'm told she doesn't cry much throughout the day).
I thought they were meant to have a key person? There hasn't been much mention of that.

Another thing is when I drop her off in the morning it's often chilly, so I layer her outfits up (e.g tights, short sleeve dress and long sleeve top over it). I assumed they would take off some of the layers as the temperature rises later in the day but when they hand her back she's dressed the same way as how I handed her in, despite it being roasting from noon onwards.
But when I sent her in just shorts and T shirt she was freezing to touch when I collected her and her nose was running. There was a jumper in her changing bag but it wasn't put on her.

Should I bring any of this up, or is it a case of me being too sensitive? I'm aware they're busy and they have other children to look after as well as DD. But I hate to think of her being too hot or cold all day.

OP posts:
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BackforGood · 20/07/2021 23:28

Depending on what times you are dropping / collecting, it is quite likely there is a shift change. So some staff work 7.30 - 4 and others 10 - 6.30.
So if you drop by 8am and collect after 5, staff may well have changed.

Then, quite feasibly, your dd's KW is also the KW of other dc in the room. So child A is being held / comforted by Staff member 1, who might also be Child B's kw, but, as Child B also needs attention, another member of the room staff gives them the attention.
Then staff might well be on Annual leave or sick leave or isolating or on a course or any number of other things.
So, in a Nursery, yes, it is usual to have different people working with your child.
If you want the same person all the time, you need a CMer.

The clothes thing is odd. I mean, apart from wondering where on earth you are that you are putting your child in tights in the heat we have (where I am) at the moment, I think if you want your child to be changed during the day then you would have to tell staff this, yes. I would expect staff to take a cardi off or put it on if the child felt hot or cold, but whole outfit changes is something you need to talk to them about, yes.

AngelDelight28 · 21/07/2021 00:31

I'm very far north, so although it's hot later in the day it's only about 15C at 8.30 in the morning when doing the drop off. I don't mean a whole outfit change, just things like taking her tights and jumper off so that she's in just the dress when it's hot.
Or when she feels cold to touch, putting a jumper on her.

The staff changeover, yes I get that. It's just so many different people and they don't even introduce themselves.

OP posts:
ragged · 21/07/2021 04:38

keyworker thing went wrong for us when DS started nursery, hacked me off, too; it may not be fixable but fine to ask them.

You need to talk to them about the clothing problem, too

supersonicginandtonic · 21/07/2021 04:50

There is nowhere in this country that requires tights in July. Just put a thin cardigan or jacket on her. The staff will remove her clothing when it gets too hot, they will have put the clothes back on because that's how you dropped her off.
She won't have caught a cold from wearing shorts and tshirt. The cold is a virus and is not caused by incorrect clothing.
In regards to the staff, when I had my nursery, we had somebody who did handover to parents everyday because nursery is chaos at pick up time. When the door goes, children get upset as they all think it's their parents. The staff member changed daily. The keyworker will try and be the one who speaks to you on occasion and does the development reviews of your little one but at the same time, when you arrive they may be changing a nappy, settling somebody to sleep, consoling an upset child, doing an acitiivty that they can't yp and leave when the door goes etc etc.
If your baby is settled and thriving I would leave these points as they are non issues.

Wjevtvha · 21/07/2021 06:32

I would expect them to add or remove layers so I would say something about that. In terms of the different staff I think that’s quite normal; my 1 year old often cries when I pick him up from his childminder even though I can hear that he’s not crying when I arrive. I’m not really sure why he does it but maybe getting used to the transition

riotlady · 21/07/2021 06:40

Are you sure they’re not putting her cardigan etc back on when you come for pick up? DDs nursery tend to try and give kids back “as they found them” but I know she’s had her cardigan off during the day because I see her in pictures. If not I would mention it- although putting her in tights is definitely excessive!

riotlady · 21/07/2021 06:40

Different people at pick up and drop off is normal

ShippingNews · 21/07/2021 06:44

Re the crying when you pick her up, I've been a child minder and it's pretty normal for children to cry at drop-off and pick-up time, and at no other time through the day. Parents never really believe that this is true - but it is !

suziedoozy · 21/07/2021 06:45

Same as PP my child usually comes out dressed in what she went into nursery in but during the day the photos show her with shoes / socks / sweaters etc on & off depending on activity & weather.

In winter she comes back out in her snowsuit even if it’s quite warm as they know we walk to nursery (like many parents) so we just take it off / tell them not to bother if it’s not needed.

IDontDrinkTea · 21/07/2021 06:46

Dds nursery take off outer layers as required through the day, but will always return her however she was dressed as drop off. So it’s most likely they’ve put jumpers back on etc to give her back.

She also will have a key worker however whoever is free at that moment tends to bring them to the door. If the key worker is changing another child’s nappy or helping with tea or whatever, it’s not always convenient for them to stop.

Slipperfairy · 21/07/2021 06:50

At least they're her own clothes. Both dc often came home in another child's clothes.

Youarestillintherunning · 21/07/2021 06:52

Having worked at a nursery, so many babies cry when dropped off or picked up!! We always say to parents to wait around the corner for 5 minutes, then look in and they will see that their baby is fine. As soon as you are gone, they settle! It's normal to have a different staff member each day welcoming children in, as it will be on a rota. Key workers are staff who will keep an eye out on your child's specific development milestones, ensure they have enough nappies etc, keep a record of what they have been up to all day, plan activities for them and talk with you if any concerns. But during the day your child will be looked after by any of the staff on shift at different times during the day. If we undress/change children during the day, we always put them back in whatever they came in (unless it is soiled) ready for pick up. All of this being said, if you are concerned then be honest with them, they can reassure you better than anyone else!

fanofsun · 21/07/2021 06:54

Have you thought about a childminder OP? I feel like you need a connection with one person. That might suit you better.

Nichola2310 · 21/07/2021 07:11

My child started crèche around his first birthday which was pre covid so I was allowed in to the building.

I would always peek through the door first and he'd be playing happily, but as soon as he saw me he'd burst into tears!

Now he's almost 3 and still in the same crèche and I hate the drop offs at the door to so many staff members. I feel like I haven't gotten to know the staff in the toddler room like I would have done when he was younger. I think it's unavoidable at the minute.

I would ask them about the clothes. Occasionally I have sent my son in wearing jeans but told them there was shorts in his bag, and he would be wearing them when I collect him.

GlitterBiscuits · 21/07/2021 07:28

I think you should consider a childminder and build up a relationship with just one person.

insancerre · 21/07/2021 08:08

I run a small nursery and we have 12 staff
It’s not always possible to have the same staff doing drop offs and pick ups
My staff work shifts so the key person might not have started or they may have gone home
They may also be off for any number of reasons eg annual leave, sick leave, self isolating, training or finished early as time off instead of overtime.
The clothes thing is weird, the staff are not mind readers, they won’t know that you expect your child to be changed. Unless you tell them.

AnotherDayAnotherCake · 21/07/2021 08:13

I think it depends on the nursery and what you are looking for from it.
I specifically chose a small nursery. As a result I got to know the other children and their parents quickly.
Staff turnover is low. I see my child’s key worker 4 days out of 5.
The handover is fairly detailed regarding what the child ate, who they played with, their behaviour that day. If I wanted to ask about taking layers on/off or another question there would be time and the request noted.
Our other local nursery has 4 times the number of children. It’s run like a machine and having heard a lot of feedback it sounds a lot like the environment you describe.

5475878237NC · 21/07/2021 08:16

Seems pretty obvious to me they should take off her cardigan when it's warm. I'd ask them. Maybe they add layers, unnecessarily so in this heat, for convenience at pick up.

Whinge · 21/07/2021 08:19

The clothes thing is weird, the staff are not mind readers, they won’t know that you expect your child to be changed. Unless you tell them.

Surely it's common sense to remove clothes or add additional layers depending on the weather? Confused OP's not expecting the staff read her mind, she's just surprised that the child isn't dressed suitably to reflect the weather.

AngelDelight28 · 21/07/2021 08:53

Thanks for the replies, it seems the different staff thing is normal and something I'll have to get used to.
It's possible the layers had been removed and then put back on at pick up time, I hadn't really thought of that. I'll ask the staff whether they do that.
It is a small independent nursery but drop offs and pick ups can still be pretty busy. I haven't ruled out childminder and having the one person there would be a big advantage, but I'll give it time to see how DD settles into the nursery first as it's only early days. There are also many advantages to nursery so I don't want to make rash decisions during the transition time. I think I'm just feeling a bit emotional about being separated from DD for the first time.

OP posts:
RobinPenguins · 21/07/2021 09:00

DD is in a large nursery and so there are lots of different staff but even so, I met with her key person before she started as that’s who she had the short settling in sessions with. They then had a designated key person buddy so there was always one of the two there when I was dropping off or picking up as they do either early or late shifts so don’t tend to be there for both ends of the day. After a few weeks she was fine going to whichever member of staff was there, but to start with there was consistency. And all the other staff introduced themselves the first time they met me, and they have photos up on a board with their working pattern for the week so you know who’s who and when you’re likely to see them.

For clothes as others have said they tended to return her to me as found, but cardis etc would have been on or off during the day. If you know it’s going to be warm later then tights seems an excessive amount of faff, maybe put a blanket on her legs if she’s cold on the way in?

AngelDelight28 · 21/07/2021 09:26

@RobinPenguins That sounds good, something like this would've been nice at least for the first few weeks. I wasn't allowed in for the settling in sessions due to Covid and it was a different staff member for each session so it felt less like "settling in" and more just dropping her into the deep end.

OP posts:
BackforGood · 21/07/2021 18:56

I'm very far north, so although it's hot later in the day it's only about 15C at 8.30 in the morning when doing the drop off

As in the arctic circle? Grin
I was chatting to someone in the middle part of Scotland yesterday, and it was sweltering there.
I can't see why anyone would be putting tights on a little one in a record breaking July.

However, I am glad you are reassured about the staffing Smile
It is hard to leave your pfb at first, and must be far more difficult now you can't go into the Nursery and see the room and the staff each day.

RobinPenguins · 21/07/2021 19:00

[quote AngelDelight28]@RobinPenguins That sounds good, something like this would've been nice at least for the first few weeks. I wasn't allowed in for the settling in sessions due to Covid and it was a different staff member for each session so it felt less like "settling in" and more just dropping her into the deep end. [/quote]
I did think when I was writing this that covid might have affected settling in arrangements. I’d ask for an introduction to your DD’s key person and perhaps a quick meeting to review how she’s settled in after they’ve been there for say 6 weeks.

Kitkat151 · 21/07/2021 19:16

It’s quite normal in these Covid times