Nursery 5 days a week?

[Peridotty]

I have just started our 13 month old DD at a nursery 5 days a week 9.30-4.30. Is this a lot? It’s a very good nursery and they actually speak another language so she can learn two languages. I am studying full time and my husband wfh full time. It’s not a cheap nursery- they charge £25,000 a year in fees.

Thanks for the replies. Glad to see that a lot of posters sent there toddlers in full time and they were fine. I asked this question because all I see on here are posters sending there little ones in for 2-3 days and only mornings. If I had a job and worked part time I would do that too but my course at uni is demanding. I’m training in a medical field so I have to see patients and also do research on the days I’m not seeing patients. I kept her at home with me for my maternity leave and I found it impossible to do anything else. My husband also found it very disruptive as we only have a small flat. Her play area is the living room and his work area is also in the living room!

We will have her in this school until 3 and then move. Hopefully we will keep up with the mandarin with tutors. It’s the same situation even if the school is just in English so why not choose one where she can learn an extra language? The cost is the same or more for just English.

The fees are shocking I know but where we live in the US they are normal and I’ve visited ones which cost £35,000 a year which is even more crazy. Unfortunately there are no cheap options here. The price is the same regardless of how many hours you do. The nursery is open 7am-6.30pm.

The earliest I can pick her up everyday is 3.30pm according to the teachers and the latest we can drop her off is 9.30am. So at the moment we will do that on some days and 4.30 on others. My husband says when she gets home it’s super hard to get any work done.

On her daily report the teachers said she settled in well on day 3, playing with her classmates and not crying.

@Joanie1972 it’s always the same two teachers per class. The teacher turnover is low, they all have degrees in early education so not like super young people, and the ratio in the class is low 1:3 at most.

I just feel super guilty sending her in 5 days a week although I don’t think there is an alternative. I still breastfeed her so she is really attached to me. She gets hysterical with me at drop off which is why husband is doing the drop off today.

That's incredibly expensive! If you are in the U.K. fees are usually around half this in my experience. But up to you. I personally would choose a nanny for that price (not live in)

Hey @Peridotty that's really tough, but I'm sure she'll be fine - at least from what I've heard from other parents. I don't have any experience personally, just wanted to share some sympathy as my LO is heading into nursery from next month (8.5mo) for 3 full days a week as we're in a similar situation to you (I'm studying full time, partner full time working). Also feeling super guilty but at the end of the day, you have to do what you have to do and ultimately, we're working towards a better future for them :)

Drop-off/pick-up is hard – but it’s so so normal for kids to melt down at those times, then have a lovely day! My DD every morning, with a fierce passion: “Nursery is YUCK.” Five minutes later: runs through the gate without looking back or saying goodbye.

Of course plenty of parents send their kids in part time, but plenty do full time! My neighbourhood is RIFE with incredibly time-rich and money-rich couples standing round the park discussing their bifold doors and 2-3 day nursery schedule, it made me feel guilty. But there are just as many full-timers too; I just didn’t spot them because they were busy running around working full time. You’ve got to study, your husband has to work.

She’ll probably have a better time there than at home: nursery do all kinds of glittery crafts I cannot be bothered to organise, messy play, water play, a varied menu, they know all the songs and “Mummy only knows wheels on bus, it BORING”. She’ll be fine

The main disadvantage that I find with our full timers is that they can get exhausted without a break. Keep in mind it is like working for them in that sometimes they need a holiday or some down time, especially if unwell. Nursery is a busy place and they have follow someone else's schedule through a day. Also check how often they get to go out away from the main nursery to have experiences in wider society.

I think in the short term I'd drop 1 day per week (a non classroom day for you), with you minding dd, then you go and study at the university Library on Saturdays and dh have a day with dd.

Funnell that saving into funds to purchase a home that suits wfh and a growing child (not that a 1bed is "lesser" but your dh wfh and your dd playing at home would be better with a second room).

2 teachers per class? So only 6 per children per class. That’s a very good ratio for pre-schoolers it’s usually 1:8 so that’ll be one of the reasons for the increased cost I would assume.

It’s fine. Sounds like a fabulous nursery!

With a child of 13 mths all nurseries should be 1:3 ratio, as a minimum.

1:4 for 2-3yrs and 1:8 for 3+. Most nurseries to aim for having consistent staffing too, which is especially important the younger the children are.

As a childminder I have babies of 6 months some 7am to 6pm 5 says a week they stay for 11 years or more its like visiting family they even knock on days off bringing flowers walk in so hello and go off again.

@Tumbleweed101 I somehow thought the child was in preschool! My mistake.

DC1 went full time 8.30-5.00 from just before first birthday. I needed to go back full time to get full maternity pay when I went off to have DC2.

He's fine.

Perfectly normal - I'm in a MN minority in that my sector isn't PT friendly (plus I don't want to work PT) - my nursery was open 8-6 and DS1&2 started at 3 months. It was, and still is, an absolutely fantastic nursery, workplace setting for DH, county house grounds, kids learn to ride bikes, and possibly due to a multicultural population of parents, different languages spoken, nurtured and "taught" via puppet play.

Hi OP, there is no "should" you do what you have to do and what works for you. All you can do is look at your child...is she happy and well cared for?

People always say "drop a day...work from home...totally change your career....downsize" like that's easy.

I have a few children who are hysterical coming into nursery but five minutes later are totally happy playing or being read to. The parents don't believe it but I can provide photographic and video evidence!

She will be fine....guilt is a useless emotion.